Hollywood Reporter: How Not to Be a White Jerk in Tinsel Town

May 3rd, 2019 4:09 PM

The beauty of establishing three million plus politically correct rules to defend your weird fringe diversity interests is that you’ll never have a shortage of things to be angry about. Hollywood Reporter published an insipid collection of anecdotes from anonymous minority individuals complaining about fellow Hollywood staffers’ idiosyncrasies, and spun it as “10 pieces of advice to avoid missteps and marginalization on set and in meetings.”

These rules run the gamut from not putting your feet up at the boardroom meeting table to making sure you’re super familiar with the rapidly proliferating trans pronouns. Now while there were a couple that may have denoted a certain lack of cultural awareness, these complaints are in real snowflake territory. They could be addressed under the blanket kindergarten admonishment: don’t be rude.

Take the feet on the table rule for example. Just as some people can’t just chalk up subway “Manspreading,” to a selfish lack of manners, a “black TV exec” attributed guys putting their feet on boardroom tables to whiteness. He wrote, “I'm annoyed that white men go into staff or talent meetings and put their feet up on the table for serious conversations ... If a woman, POC or millennial did that, we'd be ‘unprofessional.’”

Forgetting to mind someone’s personal space, according to one rule, is also an act of “unconscious bias,” because once again being rude is not just a human failing but one born of centuries of cultural appropriation. One “award winning black filmmaker” wrote, “In a meeting with several industry movers and shakers, an Oscar winner reached over and touched my hair and said how interesting it is.”

Right. Remember, it couldn’t possibly be movie star privilege compelling the behavior -- or just a “handsy” demeanor. It’s actually a manifestation of genetic memory from manhandling slaves for 1000 years.

Oh and there’s a condemnation of people who just don’t care about these fancy new trans words from a “trans producer-actress.” She wrote, “We graciously educate people even though the questions we are frequently asked are easy to Google.” Well, geez laweez, that’s terrible. Bout time we crucify folks for not keep up with the break neck speed at which Merriam-Webster updates its trans word database.

Another rule — “Remember that Optics Matter” when filming minorities. Delanna Studi, a Native American Actress, felt attacked for being on “sets where they ‘dirty’ me — put dirt on my face and clothes.” Studi admitted that it was because she “was a warrior,” but was annoyed because a warrior queen of her caliber “would have been looking her best” going into battle. Sounds like a real dilemma for the ethics committee.

And there’s the all-hallowed rule of learning ethnic individuals’ names to avoid whitey’s tendency to confuse them all, since we totally can’t tell the difference. A “black tv exec” wrote that “I have been mistaken for another executive of color at a different level within the same conglomerate.” Well that’s unfortunate. But just know that he refused to help his colleagues deal with their fumbles because he was wary about creating an atmosphere of “white fragility,” that would be “worse to deal with.” Which raises the question, who would want to learn this jerk’s name, anyway?