Donald Trump is going to be elected the next president of the United States. And you know what? I'M GOING TO BE OKAY!!! But I don't know if you are. AGGGHHH!!!! AGGGHHH!!!  AGGGHHH!!!! AGGGHHH!!! ...I'm going to be okay, DAMMIT!!!

That's a brief encapsulation capturing the general tone of celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton's mental meltdown last night when it became obvious to him that Donald Trump would be elected president.

Perez Hilton, popular foul-mothed celebrity commentator, has an acting gig – Danny Tanner – otherwise known as the father from Full House. Thankfully, it won’t be on a revived version of the TV show, but a musical, set for an August premiere in Toronto.

The plot will follow Tanner as he “loses his super power of solving any problem with his sensible Dad Speeches (complete with soft piano accompaniment). Follow Danny's wacky and hilarious descent into madness as he slowly turns from wholesome Danny Tanner to foul-mouthed and dark Bob Saget.” (Saget’s stand-up comedy is infamously not family friendly.) Hilton describes the affair as “super silly, ridiculous, naughty fun.” 

On Tuesday's CNN Tonight, Perez Hilton compared former Vice President Dick Cheney to the extremist group masquerading as a place of worship, Westboro Baptist Church. Host Don Lemon interrupted a fight between conservative Ben Ferguson and liberal Marc Lamont Hill over Dick Cheney's "race card" comments about President Obama, and turned to the celebrity gossip blogger for his take on the issue. Hilton replied, "To me, Dick Cheney is like the Westboro Baptist Church. I'd rather not talk about him."

ABC, CBS, and NBC's morning newscasts on Monday all touted the apparent "backlash" and "firestorm" against Italian fashion designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana for their support for the traditional family and condemnation of in-vitro fertilization and surrogate motherhood. The programs all spotlighted how homosexual musician Elton John called for a boycott of the duo's label, and how multiple celebrities ran to his support. However, they didn't bother to quote from Dolce and Gabbana's supporters.

Ding! We have a winner for Worst Mom of 2014! “Teen Mom” star Farrah Abraham, welcomes the day her daughter makes a sex tape.  

While promoting the first installment of her erotic novel trilogy, Farrah Abraham, describes how she would respond if her daughter, Sophia, made a sex tape. Abraham staunchly expects Sophia to follow in Mommy’s footsteps, assuming she will declare that she “HAD to try” making a porn film.

At the same time the supposedly most trusted name in news is allegedly pondering giving vulgarian comedienne Kathy Griffin a show on that network, she's just gotten the boot from Bravo.

Such was reported in a Cincinnati Enquirer review of her "performance" at the Taft Theatre Friday:

On NBC Sunday night, the new Miss USA, Olivia Culpo from Rhode Island, carefully toed the “LGBT” line endorsing the idea of transgender beauty queens to win the crown. She learned from Carrie Prejean, who lost the Miss USA crown in 2009 after refusing to endorse judge Perez Hilton's demand for an endorsement of gay marriage. Hilton, and then the rest of the media, denounced Prejean for weeks afterward.

AP reports after making it to the top five, Culpo was asked by judge Rob Kardashian, "Would you feel it would be fair that a transgender woman wins the Miss USA title over a natural-born woman?" The question came from “a pageant follower on Twitter,” but obviously NBC and Donald Trump, who now owns the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants, plucked it out of the tweet basket:

In recent years, the Miss America and Miss USA pageants have been places viewers can see how well-poised, educated women field tough questions about divisive issues the country is facing. The 2012 Miss America competition was no exception, as Miss New York was asked about Occupy Wall Street. But similar to Carrie Prejean’s pro-traditional marriage answer from the 2009 Miss USA competition, Miss New York’s reasonable answer to a hot button political question may have landed her as the runner up.

On Sunday Jan. 15 during the Miss America competition in Las Vegas, Nevada, Miss New York Kaitlin Monte was asked whether the protestors that comprise “Occupy Wall Street” had a valid point. Her response was tepid at best, showing neither full support, nor full dismissal of the movement.

Parents: When shopping for a new book to read to your kids, be sure to avoid the recent children's book written by famously trashy, foul-mouthed celebrity blogger Perez Hilton. "The Boy with Pink Hair" is a cute, uplifting children's book and a slick piece of gay rights propaganda.

The self-declared "Queen of All Media," (more than 3.8 million Twitter followers and, one of the most visited websites in the world) jumped into the spotlight in 2009, when he famously called Miss USA contestant Carrie Prejean a "dumb b***h" possessing "half a brain" for her statement that she believes marriage "should be between a man and a woman."

Now, Hilton is on a book tour, hawking his "story of a boy whose difference makes a difference." On the outset, this cute fairytale is a about a boy with pink hair who grows up with loving parents, pursues his favorite hobbies, encounters a bully, and overcomes his insecurities to save the day.

At the top of Thursday's CBS Early Show, co-host Maggie Rodriguez declared that vicious gossip monger Perez Hilton "makes nice....with so much bullying going on he doesn't want to be a bully himself anymore." While the report that followed cheered Hilton's efforts to reform himself, the morning show has been happy to promote his bullying tactics in the past.

Correspondent Ben Tracy noted how Hilton "controversially outed gay performers like Lance Bass and Neil Patrick Harris." However, on the September 25, 2008 Early Show, correspondent Michelle Gillen seemed to have no problem with it as she reported on Hollywood's acceptance of gay celebrities: "Neal Patrick Harris...remains a high profile star since he was outed by celebrity blogger Perez Hilton." A clip was played of Hilton claiming such outing was "par for the course" and Gillen concluded: "Now that 'out' is apparently 'in.'"

America was horrified by the story that erupted in the national news, that Rutgers college freshman Tyler Clementi threw himself off a bridge because his new roommate used a webcam to tape a homosexual encounter in which he’d engaged. Media outlets quickly dispatched their cavalry to find the experts to explain why America is a land of incessant bullying.

Theif is no longer debatable. We’re on to the why.

This could have been a moment of national unity. Almost everyone can tell a story of being the target of bullying or mean-spirited ridicule about being too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too dumb, too smart, you name it. But others found this tragedy offered too rich a rhetorical opportunity. It was not a suicide to them. It was a murder.

CNN's “Larry King Live” brought on the antonym of human dignity, Kathy Griffin, who quickly inflamed the Clementi moment by charging “the blood's on their hands” of our “so-called leaders.” She insisted, “I think that the way that we had trickle-down economics in the '80s, this is trickle-down homophobia. And I really want people to connect the dots. And that's why I believe there's a connection between Prop 8, Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and now the string of teen suicides.”

ABC has pulled its ads from gossip blogger Perez Hilton's Web site,, after he caught legal flack for posting upskirt photos of 17-year-old Disney star Miley Cyrus. However, several big-name companies still have ads running on the snarky blogger's site.

Amid speculation that Hilton may be slapped with kiddie-porn charges over the lurid photos, ABC has removed its ads for "The View" from the popular gossip site. But other advertisers appear to be sticking by Hilton. TV Land still had a full-page background promotion and two smaller ads on, and Apple iTunes and Microsoft's search engine Bing still had advertisements up as of Wednesday afternoon.

The drama started Monday, when Hilton posted a link to a photo of Cyrus getting out of a car in a tight white dress - and apparently, no underwear. Outrage erupted over the photo, with some calling the image "child pornography" since Cyrus is legally a minor. Hilton quickly removed the picture, but has brushed off the incident as a "fake" controversy.

It's odd that Microsoft, which owns Bing, would opt to keep advertising. It has recently been touting its own crusade against kiddie-porn.