Sick Syfy Series 'Happy!' Pitches 'Bringing Sexy Back to Easter'

April 18th, 2019 12:44 AM

With Easter just a few days away, we were bound to see yet another awful display by Syfy’s Happy! Sure enough, the series gives us yet another jab at the religious holiday for someone’s sick amusement. This time, it’s “bringing sexy back” to the holiday, although the resurrection of Christ was never meant to be sexy to begin with.

The April 17 episode “Blitzkrieg!!!” follows former hitman Nick Sax (Christopher Meloni) teaming up with a homicide detective named Merry (Lili Miorjnick) to catch “Sonny Shine,” (Christopher Fitzgerald) a secret crime lord and popular children’s entertainer. While they track down leads, Sonny continues his scheme to “Make Easter Great Again” by re-branding the 2,000-year-old holiday.

Over the past few episodes, Sonny has secretly partnered with a professional killer to create public scenes like nuns exploding in suicide vests and skinned men stuffed in chocolate bunnies at Easter festivals. This creates a sense of there being a “War on Easter” which Sonny then exploits by offering his new version of Easter to fight back against this war.

As part of his campaign to win the War on Easter and Make Easter Great Again, Sonny pitches a new ad to investors: “bringing sexy back to Easter.”



Sonny: While others run in fear from those who've declared war on Easter, one man will unite us all... in bringing sexy back to Easter. This year, if we don't celebrate Easter, they win. Just a taste. A little, como se dice, flavor, if you will. This ain't your grandma's Easter, am I right?

Did he really have to drag out their Pope and Christ-like images to make this point? I didn’t even realize there could be sex appeal involved in the resurrection of Our Lord and Savior, but that’s probably why I don’t write this tasteless junk.  

Sadly, the “heroes” of the show are hardly good alternatives. Sax and Merry track down a lead to a retirement home which turns out to be a refuge for literal Nazis. This inevitably leads to an all-out fight with a surprising amount of needless gore. It’s all supposed to be okay since, as Sax puts it, “They’re Nazis!” But I don’t think there’s any excuse to watch an old man’s organs fall from his gut as Sax stomps on his head. Happy Easter, everyone.  

The sad thing is that this mangling of a religious holiday partnered with graphic violence is considered entertainment to some people. As we prepare for another Easter Sunday, I encourage us to pray for something better.