The 5 Most Shockingly Blasphemous Scenes Shown on Network TV During Holy Week

March 25th, 2016 3:30 PM

We all know that Hollywood is bigoted and anti-Christian all year round, but they seem to take particular delight in flipping Christians the bird during Holy Week, the week between Palm Sunday and Easter. From corruption in the Catholic Church, to mocking Christians' concept of God, to stripper nuns, here are the top 5 most shockingly blasphemous scenes that aired on network TV this week. 

5. Satan himself enters a church and hears a confession on Fox's Lucifer.

Lucifer: Hello. 

Woman: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been three hours since my last confession. 

Lucifer: Three hours? Speedy sinner, I like it. 

Woman: No, I just need more guidance. I'm still having lustful thoughts about another man. 

Lucifer: Splendid. Who's the lucky fellow? 

Woman: Um, my husband's limo driver. What should I do, Father? 

Lucifer: Well, my dear, uh, you should embrace your desires. 

Woman: Really? Uh, when I was here earlier, Father Frank told me I should be faithful to my husband. 

Lucifer: Well, I don't know why you're listening to that fool. I mean, let's be honest, if you wanted to be faithful, then you wouldn't be fantasizing about your limo driver, now, would you, eh?

Woman: You're right. 

Lucifer: No, no, no, no, no, don't feel bad. You have those desires for a reason. You should act on them. I mean, you can always come back here, confess, and all will be forgiven. Isn't that how this system of yours works? 

Woman: When you put it that way... 

Chloe: Lucifer, what do you think you're doing?

Lucifer: For your penance, ten Bloody Marys and a good shag.

4 and 3. This one's a two-fer: NBC's You, Me, and the Apocalypse has the Catholic Church intentionally deceiving the faithful by anointing a new false Messiah and God is depicted as an old woman in a bathroom.

Paula: David, this bucket list is pathetic. Seriously, you haven't done any of those? What have you been doing with your life?

David: I dunno. Angry Birds?

Celine: Lies. All lies. Yeah. Funny, that. We met this man, he's not Jesus! He's drives a taxi cab in Bilbao. He claims he heals people, but it's not true. We filed the report. They know he's a fraud. How could they do this?

Newscaster: ...Distrust of authority...

Celine: Jude warned me about them.

Paula: Look. Celine, darling. Let it go, eh? I mean, what does it matter? We're all gonna be dead anyway. Go on, get that down Ya.

Celine: I'm sorry, God. I'm so sorry.

God: No need to apologise, dear. It's going to be all right. Mint?

Celine: Who are you?

God: I am God. And you are very drunk.

Celine: Forgive me.

God: Oh, good grief. The groveling. Always the groveling. Can't we just be pleased to see each other? Jude sends his love, by the way.

Celine: So he's in heaven? Thank God.

God: And between you and me, it's nice to have some totty round the place.

Celine: I am so sorry. I broke my vows. I let you down.

God: The only thing I'm sad about is you leaving.

Celine: But I never left you.

God: I need you, Celine. You're part of my plan. Always were, and always will be.

Man: Oy, let me in. I mean it. I'm gonna puke.

2. Law and Order: SVU has the Catholic Church running an underage sex trafficking ring for two decades, simply to control and humiliate young girls.

Barba: 20 years-- what are we looking at?

Dodds: Girls in compromising positions with priests, cops, and Johns.

Barba: Photos of the Johns are good for blackmail, but why take pictures of themselves?

Rollins: They get off on it.

Carisi I found Eugene's psychological profiles of the girls they trafficked, a few other counselors' too. It's like a tip sheet for predators.

Rollins: And look--look, I've got guest lists for every party, meticulous accounting records of rental receipts, uh, alcohol purchases—

Barba: How much are they making?

Tutuola Nothing. Doesn't look like they charge anyone.

Barba: Then what's the point?

Rollins: They want to humiliate the girls, control them, force them to service their powerful friends, who, in turn, owe the church.

Barba: Why keep all this?

Carisi: 'Cause they're Catholics. They don't get rid of anything, they just bury it.

1. Strippers dress as nuns then writhe around in their underwear on Fox's Lucifer.

Fr. Frank: I'm fine right here. This... is my sanctuary. 

Lucifer: Well, your sanctuary just got shot to high heaven, Padre. But if you're looking to lay low, I believe I know just the place. Thought this might make you feel more at home, you know. 

Fr. Frank: Sure you did.

You can practically feel the hatred and distain for Christians, and especially Catholics, through the screen. Funny how they don't attack Muslims in this way, wonder why...

They love to show Christians as hypocrites, but they, professing to be the tolerant and open-minded ones, are the true hypocrites. All we can do is pray for them. 

Have a blessed Good Friday and Easter, everyone!