WashPost Ooze: Schumer, 'Partisan Brawler, Takes Leading Role to Help His Country'

March 30th, 2020 1:13 PM

In the same Sunday front section where The Washington Post spent three pages celebrating House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, reporter Paul Kane was kissing the ring of Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer: "After years as partisan brawler, Schumer takes leading role to help his country." 

In his "@PKCapitol" column on page A-4, Kane touted this accomplishment -- somehow mostly by Schumer, not by Mitch McConnell or the president: 

The New York Democrat had pulled off a unanimous vote, 96 to 0, for a $2 trillion rescue package to bolster the medical response to the spreading coronavirus and to plant a floor underneath a cratering U.S. economy.

Schumer, 69, has been in the middle of critical negotiations for decades now. As a House member, he helped write portions of the 1994 crime bill. He helped negotiate recovery help for New York after the 2001 terrorist attacks and the 2008 financial crisis.

But over the past two weeks, Schumer stepped out from the shadows of other leaders and took charge in a shuttle diplomacy between the Trump administration and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), all while keeping House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) informed of every discussion to ensure the final plan could also clear her chamber.

The high-wire act may end up a legacy-defining moment for Schumer, whose career has previously been shaped by his tactical successes — and failures — in overseeing Democratic campaigns for the Senate majority over the past 15 years.

It's always nice when Democrats have "legacy definers" like The Washington Post to mark their accomplishments sentimentally, like parents putting together a scrapbook. Speaking of parents, Kane laid it on thick that "doting son" Schumer loves Mom and Dad: 

Nothing is more painful for Schumer, a doting son, than his inability to see his parents. His father, 96, and mother, 91, live in a senior development in Queens that he makes weekly visits to — until the virus, so deadly for the elderly, swept into the city.

Now, he makes a daily phone call to check on them. He raced home to Brooklyn after the vote, joining his wife and his daughter’s family, including his grandson.

Now imagine the Post writing about what a wonderful brother or son or father Trump is. You can stop laughing. The humanizing is a one-way street. Then back to the legislating: 

When the House left town earlier this month, Schumer took charge as the public face of this phase of coronavirus legislation. It started with a $1 trillion offering from McConnell on March 18 and ended up doubling by the time Schumer clapped his hands as the Senate clerk announced a unanimous vote.

Long distrusted by liberal activists because of ties to Wall Street donors, Schumer sounded more like the liberal who emerged from Harvard Law in 1974 and immediately ran for a seat in the New York State Assembly.

So wait -- he's put aside being a "partisan brawler," but he's also never sounded more like a die-hard liberal? The spin is so energetic the reader must get dizzy. 

Try not to gag on this passage near the end:

The isolation so many Americans have felt is just settling in on Schumer, holed up in his home with his family. In Washington, he practiced social distancing but still saw his colleagues every day.

He has admitted to sleepless nights over the past week thinking about New York.

Dear Thesaurus, which synonym works best here for Candy Kane? 

apple-polish, bootlick, fawn, fuss, kowtow, toady, truckle

drool, gush, slaver, slobber, endear, ingratiate court, woo, adulate, idolize, worship, blandish, cajole,coax, flatter, overpraise, soft-soap, cower, cringe, grovel...