Showtime Cartoon: Trump Must Fight Impeachment, Pence Is Too 'Dumb' to Be Prez

January 26th, 2020 11:53 PM

It’s impeachment, impeachment, impeachment everywhere on news shows and even in some television programming that is supposed to be entertaining. Season three of Showtime’s Our Cartoon President by Stephen Colbert, airing January 26, used the same theme with an episode titled “Impeachment.” How’s that for original thought?

On the show, the impeachment trial is underway in the U.S. Senate and Trump’s advisers tell him to hang in there and fight. Vice President Mike Pence is portrayed as too afraid to take over as president should Trump leave the office because he is so dumb. It’s a lame scene but it is how this show portrays Pence.



Trump: See another cloud that looks like a nipple and need some time off?

Pence: Yes, but also, Kellyanne said you're considering trying to beat this impeachment thing.

Trump: I am. I'm just not sure I have what it takes to pull this off.

Pence: Hey, you can do this, Mr. President. You have to.

Trump: Thanks, Mike. You can go now.

Pence: No, I don't think you understand. You have to do this because I cannot become President.

Trump: What? Why?

Pence: Because I would be the worst president in the history of ever anywhere. First of all, not even a decade ago, I was a radio host and a bad one. Also, I'm dumb. Up until yesterday, I had no idea omelets were made of eggs. I thought it was yellow pancakes.

Trump: Mike, listen –

Pence: No! You listen to me, butthole.

Trump: Whoa!

Pence: I don't know how anything works. I don't know where anything is. I just say it's God because I am clueless!

Trump: Mike, calm down.

Pence: Hey! You have to! You have to do this!

Trump: Okay, okay, I'll clear my name!

Pence: You're doing the right thing.

Trump: I know. Just leave. You're scaring the shit out of me.

Pence: Okay. Door open or closed?

Trump: Whatever you want.

Pence: Don't make me think! I'm bad at it. Were you not listening?!

Trump: Closed. What the fuck?

This episode mocks both President Trump and his supporters, as usual, but there are two scenes that show contempt for the average voter on the Democrat side. Elizabeth Warren is the target for lampooning this week.

In one scene, she is advised by Joe Biden and Pete Buttigieg that her message needs to be dumbed down for voters – they are not interested in hearing about policies and facts. Democrats truly think that voters are dumb and only need short, simple messages.



Elizabeth Warren: President Trump is a lawless criminal! I promise I'll run the government the exact opposite: Like a rule-obsessed German nanny. And how am I going to do it? With plans. Long, dense, sumptuously wordy plans that no American can make sense of. I'm the boss, applesauce!

Crowd member: This is doing it for us somehow!

Warren: God, I'm so jazzed! They were eating nutritious snacks out of the palm of my thoroughly washed hand!

Joe Biden: You do know that you're running for President of America, not Captain of debate or chess for whatever smart you-knows. I need to lie down.

Pete Buttigieg: Your message is too complicated. I've made mine very simple: I was born in 1982, I'm gay, and I helped destabilize Afghanistan.

Warren: Well, I think voters want more than that.

Biden: Hey, folks, I'm Joe Biden. Do you want more than that?

All: No!

There is also a scene showing Elizabeth Warren phoning Hillary Clinton for some advice. Hillary answers the phone with “But her e-mails” instead of saying hello. And then she tells a real whopper – she said that 2016 showed she’s perfect and voters are complete morons. Bill Clinton is shown still grieving the death of his friend, sex trafficker and pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. Yikes!



Hillary: Bill, Epstein's been gone for five months. Get ahold of yourself.

Bill: You've traded your jet for wings, brother.

Hillary: But her e-mails?

Warren: Hillary, me again. Do you think I've been sounding too smart?

Hillary: I'm afraid so. If there's one lesson we learned in 2016, it's that I'm perfect and voters are complete morons.

Warren: Maybe they just need someone who'll speak to them like the detail-oriented, intellectually rigorous people that they are.

Hillary: Yeah, and Bill is coping well.

Bill: If that's Jeffy, tell him I never stopped believing!

So, this season looks to be more of the same from the first two seasons. Sometimes, among the ridiculous parodies of Trump, his family and his administration, a Democrat is mocked a bit, too. The impeachment trial is ongoing so we’ll see who the show drags down next week.