Lefties Love Science: Teen Vogue Tells Girls to 'Practice Your Magic'

January 29th, 2021 10:24 AM

Whether you are a good witch, a bad witch or prefer not to share, Teen Vogue is here to answer your questions about real-life Wicca.

Last week Netflix released its live-action reboot show Fate: The Winx Saga  about teenage girls with supernatural powers who help one another navigate life at a boarding school for magic users. After watching the series, Teen Vogue’s resident astrologist, Lisa Stardust, felt compelled to clarify the inaccuracies and unexplained elements of the series. Stardust writes, “as a practicing witch myself, who knows many magical people that identify as fairies, I was surprised by some of the inaccuracies of the series.”

The Astrologist wanted to make sure teen readers know that they can travel between dimensions so long as they don’t forget to do an energy cleanse for safety reasons. She claims “This is something that was not touched upon in the show. And, it’s very important. If not, chaos can start....”

In addition, teen witches in training should know that when it comes to magic, practice makes perfect. Magical gifts or skills are not inborn but rather acquired “To say that it’s passed down from generation to generation isn’t actually correct,” she said referring to the show’s error. “There is no reason why one person is more magical than the other, except for the fact that they practice their craft and educate themselves constantly in order to excel in their practices.”

Finally, in case girls are worried that practicing magic will ruin their dating lives, Stardust quells their fears. Contrary to the show’s misogynistic portrayal, it really is not difficult to date “female-identifying magic practitioners.” According to Stardust, “(magical) women are considered to be very powerful. They aren’t up to no good and they definitely aren’t trying to hurt others.”

Stardust regularly writes Teen Vogue's weekly horoscope sections and occasionally contributes enlightening articles outlining different aspects of Wicca with tips on how to perform them. In the past, she has discussed topics such as hexing, manifestation, and how to find your familiar (loyal magic pet). 

Wicca is just one bizarre movement in a litany of inappropriate content Teen Vogue publishes and promotes. Over the last several years Teen Vogue has earned an infamous reputation for promoting disgusting behavior and historical revisionism. To name just a few instances, the magazine praised Karal Marx as an inspirational figure, offered advice on anal sex and sexting and blamed Biden’s precariously narrow victory on white supremacy.

What’s next? It seems like nothing is off the table. Although it is hard to imagine the magazine outdoing itself in abhorrent content, one thing is for sure, we can solemnly swear that Teen Vogue is up to no good!