Apparently, it hasn’t been enough for NBC’s Lopez vs. Lopez to hate on the only main white character on the show. No, they had to bring in a white woman known only as “client” to get more digs in towards white people and mock them with stereotypes, racism, and more double standards.
Tuesday’s episode, “Lopez vs Bucket Crabs,” featured George (George Lopez) and his moving company, along with his ex-wife Rosie (Selenis Leyva) who is an investor, vying for a contract with a white, female client.
Despite George and one of his movers admitting to hiring illegal immigrants, the woman is eager to support and hire them, leading Rosie to proclaim she has a lot of “bankable white guilt,” which she plans to take full advantage of:
Rosie: Landing this commercial move would be big for us. There's the client. Remember the number one rule in business. Shut up. Let me do the talking.
George: Hi, there, I'm George Lopez, founder of Lop-E.Z. Movers. As you can see, I only have the strongest members on my crew. Momo here can do 50 push-ups.
Momo: He's right. I pushed up 50 of my cousins over the fence at the border.
George: And I've hired them all. Lop-E.Z. Movers, a sanctuary business.
Client: You're literally lifting up your community.
Rosie: 90% of our profits goes to a Latina businesswoman-- me.
Client: I reviewed your bid. I just need to talk to one more Latino-run moving company. Maybe you know the owner.
George: Oh, so why is that? Because I'm Latino, we have to know every other Latino?
Danny: Jorge, hey, George!
George: Danny Martinez.
Client: So, you do know each other. Thank goodness. I was sweating there for a second.
Rosie: George used to work for Danny. He was kind of his mentor.
Client: Oh, I'll give you two a moment to catch up. This is the part where I quiet my own voice to amplify yours.
Rosie: You seem to have a lot of bankable white guilt. Why don't we discuss your insurance needs?
White, liberal, woke "allies" who think they’re welcome in the woke world, this is what they really think of you. Support them all you want. It will never go both ways. You’ll just be used for comical fodder which makes it obvious who the true racists are.
George ends up facing competition from a fellow Latino moving company, which leads to discussion on stereotyping what they think white people love:
Danny: George, I'm a new man, ever since I started practicing the art of Tai chi. It's helped my rage and my "siratica."
George: I don't care about your "siratica" or your chai tea. Once I named my business Lop-E.Z. Movers, he named his business Martin-E.Z. Movers to steal customers. I was E.Z. First.
Danny: It's pronounced "Martin-eez," because white people love martinis, like they love donuts, tacos, and the Spy Kids trilogy.
Client: Oh, yeah.
Obviously, the Spy Kids reference was a wink at the audience because of guest star Danny Trejo’s appearance in the film. But can you imagine if they removed “white people” from that last line and inserted “Latinas?” If stereotypes are wrong, then they’re wrong for all races. Yet, Hollywood consistently applies double standards to all the rules they demand for themselves and every other race but white.
Later, when George finds out he and Danny both won the bid, there are more digs at white women in general as well as the white client:
Rosie: Good news. We got the job. The client loved you, even after meeting you in person.
George: Because I'm irresistible to white women. They like me, because I smell like a coconut drink they can drink on Rosarito Beach while they're getting their hair braided.
Rosie: Well, she also loved Danny, so she suggested that you do it together.
George: No way. Absolutely not. I'm not working with that Mexican Rapunzel.
Rosie: You have no choice. This client loves supporting Latino businesses. I don't know what skeletons are in her closet, but they're probably named Paco and Chuy.
Meanwhile, in another storyline, George’s daughter Mayan (Mayan Lopez) has been competing with a fellow Latina woman for a place in the parent group at her child’s school. George calls the woman, as well as his moving business competitor, “bucket crabs,” because they pull others down to get on top.
Of course, they can’t have an episode without humiliating main character Quinten (Matt Shively), Mayan’s white boyfriend and baby daddy, or go without applying their double standards to him, as well:
Mayan: Dad, you were right. Natalia is a bucket crab.
George: Then do to her what Imma do to Danny tomorrow. Crab his ass.
Mayan: Oh, I will. I'm going to show up loud and proud, and I'm going to boil that crab right out of her Jessica Simpson ballet flats.
Quinten: You know what? Group text be damned. I've got your back. Let's go crabbing.
George: Take it easy, all right? When we crab, it's courageous. When you crab, it's racist.
Quinten: Then I will quiet my claw to amplify yours.
No one needs to amplify racist, hypocritical voices. Racism is wrong, period. No matter what race is the target. And it’s certainly not fodder for comedy no matter how hard they try to make it so.
We need to make sure our voices speaking out against all racism are the ones being amplified instead.