The men of late night reacted to the news that CBS has cancelled The Late Show with varying degrees of intelligence on their Monday shows. On the dumb end of the spectrum was fellow Paramount employee Jon Stewart, who reacted on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show by telling CBS to “go fuck” itself and dropping over 40 F-bombs.
Stewart saw a conspiracy in CBS’s announcement, “If you're trying to figure out why Stephen's show is ending, I don't think the answer can be found in some smoking gun email or phone call from Trump to CBS executives, or in CBS's QuickBooks spreadsheets on the financial health of late night. I think the answer is in the fear and pre-compliance that is gripping all of America's institutions at this very moment. Institutions that have chosen not to fight the vengeful and vindictive actions of our pubic hair-doodling commander-in-chief.”
He rolled on, “So, to those institutions, to those corporations, and advertisers, and universities, and law firms, all of them—if you still think that bending the knee to Trump will save you, I have one thing to say.”
Stewart then started singing, “I know you're scared. I know you're weary. I know your plans don't include me. But these are troubled times, so sack the fuck up.”
After being joined by a choir, Stewart declared, “But compliance and complacency is not the answer! We reject the mindless, machine-generated slop that offends nobody, and we affirm our shared humanity! We must continue to have humans make things that inspire and provoke other humans!”
“But if you're afraid and you protect your bottom line, I've but one thing to say, just one little phrase,” he continued.
Stewart and the choir then sang “Go fuck yourself” and “Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself” on repeat for nearly a minute.
Colbert himself was more reserved, “CBS, who I want to reiterate have always been great partners, put out a statement saying very nice things about me and about the show, and thank you to them for that.”
He did have one dud, “How could it be a purely financial decision if The Late Show is number one in the ratings?... somebody at CBS followed up their gracious press release with a gracious anonymous leak, saying they pulled the plug on our show because of losses pegged between 40 million and $50 million a year. Forty million's a big number. I could see us losing $24 million. But where would Paramount have possibly spent the other 16 mill — oh, yeah.”
After reading Trump’s Truth Social post where Trump celebrated his cancellation, Colbert got in his own F-bombs, “How dare you? How dare you, sir? Would an untalented man be able to compose the following satirical witticism? Go [bleep] yourself.”
Later, Colbert was more thoughtful, “Some people see this show going away as a sign of something truly dire. And while I am a big fan of me, I don't necessarily agree with that statement. Because we here at The Late Show never saw our job as changing anything other than how you felt at the end of the day, which I think is a worthy goal. Or rather, changing how you felt the next morning when you watched on your phone, which is why broadcast TV is dying. You're part of the problem.”
On NBC’s Late Night, Seth Meyers was undeterred by the argument that says late night is dying because it’s become way too partisan, sarcastically claiming, “Obviously, we try to hit both sides equally… Look, the nice thing about being in your twelfth year of doing a show, look, our audience knows where we stand. By the way, I don't want to do a show where people don't know where I stand. And, you know, I come to my opinions about things authentically. Like, the weird kind of show right now would be a show where you do try to, like, see which way the wind's blowing.”
He further declared that “hopefully it's a cathartic show to watch.”
Earlier on The Tonight Show, fellow NBC-er Jimmy Fallon brought out his Trump voice, “Everybody is talking about CBS's decision to end The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, and many people are now threatening to boycott the network. Yep. CBS could lose millions of viewers, plus tens of hundreds watching on Paramount+. Stephen has done years of incredibly smart and hilarious television, and he's won ten Emmys. Yeah. Trump heard and was like, ‘Big deal. Last week I just won a FIFA World Cup trophy, so…”
Colbert wasn't wrong that late night has suffered as network TV in general declines, but this means that people who desire less liberal comedy have several additional options. Stewart and Meyers would be well-advised to learn that lesson, or they could be next.
Here are transcripts for the July 21-taped shows:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
7/21/2025
11:39 PM ET
STEPHEN COLBERT: CBS, our network, CBS, who I want to reiterate have always been great partners, put out a statement saying very nice things about me and about the show, and thank you to them for that. They clarified that the cancellation was “purely a financial decision,” but how could it be a purely financial decision if The Late Show is number one in the ratings? A lot folks—yeah, it's confusing. A lot of folks are asking that question, mainly my staff's parents and spouses. Well, over the weekend, somebody at CBS followed up their gracious press release with a gracious anonymous leak, saying they pulled the plug on our show because of losses pegged between 40 million and $50 million a year. Forty million's a big number. I could see us losing $24 million. But where would Paramount have possibly spent the other 16 mill — oh, yeah.
Oh. Oh, yeah. I’ll call you. Still, that's still a lot of money. Where does The Late Show rank? Jim, what other companies lost that kind of money last year? Red Lobster? Dammit! I told them we should stop offering the audience unlimited shrimp. Maya, Maya? Take it away. Take it away. So, with those numbers, I gotta say it makes sense we'd be canceled. I get it, guys. And thanks again. Thanks again to the network. In a completely unrelated story, on Friday, Donald Trump posted [TRUMP VOICE]: "I absolutely love that Colbert got fired. His talent was even less than his ratings."
How dare you? How dare you, sir? Would an untalented man be able to compose the following satirical witticism? Go [bleep] yourself.
…
11:55 PM ET
COLBERT: But some people see this show going away as a sign of something truly dire. And while I am a big fan of me, I don't necessarily agree with that statement. Because we here at The Late Show never saw our job as changing anything other than how you felt at the end of the day, which I think is a worthy goal. Or rather, changing how you felt the next morning when you watched on your phone, which is why broadcast TV is dying. You're part of the problem. Look in the mirror, okay. Which is probably the camera on your phone. Come on.
***
Comedy Central: The Daily Show
7/21/2025
11:25 PM ET
JON STEWART: So here's the point: If you're trying to figure out why Stephen's show is ending, I don't think the answer can be found in some smoking gun email or phone call from Trump to CBS executives, or in CBS's Quickbooks spreadsheets on the financial health of late night. I think the answer is in the fear and pre-compliance that is gripping all of America's institutions at this very moment. Institutions that have chosen not to fight the vengeful and vindictive actions of our pubic hair-doodling commander-in-chief. This is not the moment to give in. I'm not giving in! I'm not going anywhere! I think. So, to those institutions, to those corporations, and advertisers, and universities, and law firms, all of them — if you still think that bending the knee to Trump will save you, I have one thing to say [starts singing] I know you're scared. I know you're weary
CHOIR: Hmm
STEWART: I know your plans don't include me.
CHOIR: Hmm
STEWART: But these are troubled times
CHOIR: Ooh
STEWART: So sack the fuck up. Because!
CHOIR: Ooh
STEWART: This ain't, this ain’t, this ain’t the time to shrink!
CHOIR: Not the time
STEWART: This is the time to fight!
CHOIR: Time to fight!
STEWART: This is the time to rise up!
CHOIR: Not too fast, you're old
STEWART: I am old, that is a true point. Obviously, the blood pressure, et cetera. But compliance and complacency is not the answer! We reject the mindless, machine-generated slop that offends nobody, and we affirm our shared humanity! We must continue to have humans make things that inspire and provoke other humans!
CHOIR: ChatGPT wrote that.
STEWART: But if you're afraid and you protect your bottom line, I've but one thing to say, just one little phrase:
CHOIR: Hmm you tell 'em
STEWART: Go fuck yourself!
CHOIR: Go fuck yourself! Go fuck yourself! Go fuck yourself! Go fuck yourself!
STEWART: Wait, bring it down! Let's bring it down. A little bit quieter. Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself! Just go fuck yourself! Everybody!
CHOIR: Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself just go fuck yourself. Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself just go fuck yourself. Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself just go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.
STEWART: Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself, just go fuck yourself! Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself just go fuck yourself. Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself just go fuck yourself. Fuck, fuck, fuck yourself just go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.
***
NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers
7/22/2025
1:20 AM ET
JERROD CARMICHAEL: I'm kind of curious, like, how do you feel? Like, late night has been, like, obviously with Colbert and all this [bleep].
SETH MEYERS: Yeah.
CARMICHAEL: It's been under a lot of scrutiny. But how do you feel? Like, you come out every night. You, like, tell, like, very deeply political jokes.
MEYERS: Yeah.
CARMICHAEL: To an audience of 180 people. I'm just wondering, like, how do you feel about it, and what is your sense of purpose? Like, what do you feel like — that's not even a joke. They're laughing at that [bleep] But I'm actually –
MEYERS: Well, I mean, I genuinely, despite everything that's happening in the world and obviously, you know, the terrible news about our friend, Stephen Colbert—
CARMICHAEL: Yeah,
MEYERS: I still love doing what I'm doing. And I love the people I do it with. And we have a very clear sense of purpose as far as what we're trying to do every day.
CARMICHAEL: Okay, good.
MEYERS: So, that hasn't gotten foggy at all despite everything that's going on. And you know, I feel very grateful for that because, you know—
CARMICHAEL: Yeah.
MEYERS: I feel like, you know, we're making a show I'm really proud of, and so it's nice to be able to keep making it. For as ever long as they let us, and they never promised it would be forever.
CARMICHAEL: I mean, obviously, like, you know, it's a difficult time right now, and people are so divided. Like, I wonder if that influences the jokes you make. Like, are you influenced, like, do you check all that? Do you check online, do you check Twitter?
MEYERS: Look, we just — obviously, we try to hit both sides equally. And –
CARMICHAEL: The Lithuanians are laughing.
MEYERS: Look, the nice thing about being in your twelfth year of doing a show, look, our audience knows where we stand.
CARMICHAEL: Yeah.
MEYERS: By the way, I don't want to do a show where people don't know where I stand. And, you know, I come to my opinions about things authentically. Like, the weird kind of show right now would be a show where you do try to, like, see which way the wind's blowing—
CARMICHAEL: Yeah.
MEYERS: — and you try to shape your show to whatever moment you're living in. Like, it's so lovely to know that, you know, over a decade plus, I do believe we have cultivated an audience who come here for a certain thing and we try to deliver that thing every night. Not because it's what we think they want, but it's because what we feel and hopefully that's what they want.
CARMICHAEL: Yeah. No, for sure. Like, like, what's the goal then?
MEYERS: I truly believe our goal is, like, it is a cathartic show to write.
CARMICHAEL: Yeah.
MEYERS: And hopefully it's a cathartic show to watch.
CARMICHAEL: Cathartic.
MEYERS: Yes.
CARMICHAEL: Like, you feel good, like it's okay, this attacks the thing that I read this morning in The New York Times or whatever.
***
NBC The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
7/21/2025
11:36 PM ET
JIMMY FALLON: Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Tonight Show. I am your host. Well, at least for tonight. I don't like it. I don't like what's going on one bit. These are crazy times. This morning, my dad called me and said he's officially a Kimmel guy. I go, "Wait, what's —" That's right. Everybody is talking about CBS's decision to end The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, and many people are now threatening to boycott the network. Yep. CBS could lose millions of viewers, plus tens of hundreds watching on Paramount+. Stephen has done years of incredibly smart and hilarious television, and he's won ten Emmys. Yeah. Trump heard and was like [TRUMP VOICE], "Big deal. Last week I just won a FIFA World Cup trophy, so…”
