Here's the Top Three Most Pathetic Stories ABC Covered INSTEAD of Durham

February 16th, 2022 12:08 PM

Four days after the bombshell revelation from court filings that connected the 2016 Hillary Clinton campaign to spying on Donald Trump’s, ABC, as well as CBS and NBC are still silent. They have buried the explosive allegations entirely. However, in the category of stupid, vapid stories that the networks are covering instead, ABC’s Good Morning America wins by a mile. 

To “honor” the brazenness, the hiding of real news, the level of corporate whoring that only GMA can achieve, we present:


The Top Three Most Pathetic Stories ABC Is Covering INSTEAD of the Durham Revelations



3. Corporate Whoring at GMA


The show with no journalistic principles did it twice on Wednesday as co-host Michael Strahan shilled for Marvel (which, like ABC, is owned by Disney), “Spider-Man: No Way Home swinging its way past Avatar this morning! The superhero movie is now the third highest grossing domestic release ever!” (GMA is the same ABC show that relentlessly promoted the Disney movie Mulan, but buried the news that Disney filmed near Chinese concentration camps.) 


2. ABC Logic: Stuffed Panda More Important Than Clinton Spying 


Co-host Lara Spencer could barely contain her excitement as she promoted “Bing Dwen Dwen,” a stuffed animal made for the 2022 Olympics: “There is another star at this winter Olympics! Yes, the athletes are amazing but there is a fan frenzy around this giant round panda!”


1. Corporate Whoring at GMA (Again) 


The whoring continued as Ginger Zee narrated a press release for Disney on a planned community that Disney super fans can soon live in: “Disney is announcing that it has a plan to bring Walt Disney creativity into planned communities called Story Living by Disney.... Disney is sprinkling pixie dust in places that you may not never have expected!” 

(Honorable mentions: 5 minutes and 11 seconds to actor Channing Tatum promoting his new movie Dog. 58 seconds on an actor from Ted Lasso appearing on Sesame Street.) 

Total time on the success of Spider-Man: 31 seconds. 

Total time on a stuffed panda at the Olympics: 3 minutes and 18 seconds 

Total time on “story living by Disney”: 1 minute and 20 seconds 

GMA’s total of stupidity: 5 minutes and 9 seconds. That’s 5 minutes and 9 seconds not devoted to the critically serious surveillance issues raised by Special Counsel John Durham's investigation.  

The censoring of real news in favor of nonsense was sponsored by Planet Fitness, Comcast and Allstate. Click on the links to let them know what you think.