Comedian Tom Arnold's funniest performance might have happened on the evening of June 22. He didn't even intend to be funny but his epic meltdown during his interview about the supposed Trump tapes with Poppy Harlow who was substituting for Erin Burnett is destined to be viewed by millions as comedy relief. Besides the hilarious notion that he and former Donald Trump lawyer Michael Cohen are buddies despite only a chance meeting for a quick selfie photo, Arnold experienced two embarrassingly long brain freezes during the interview.
Combined with his constant fidgeting, nervous tics, and the inability to answer simple questions, the two major brain freezes are just the icing on the cake of his unintentional comedy classic.
POPPY HARLOW: Tonight, could Michael Cohen be sending a message to President Trump? Trump's longtime personal attorney retweeted a photo with comedian Tom Arnold that he had posted of the two of them together last night. Arnold told NBC News quote it’s on. I hope he, Trump, sees the picture of me and Michael Cohen and it haunts his dreams. And then he said, "This dude has all the tapes, this duz dude has everything." Tom Arnold is “Outfront." He is working on a new show for Viceland called the "Hunt For The Trump Tapes." Thank you for being here. I have a lot to get to. Let’s jump in. We know Michael Cohen is facing a criminal investigation here in New York. No charges have been filed yet.
Yes, from this chance encounter with Michael Cohen which resulted in a selfie, Tom Arnold is now flogging it as if they were buddies working together in the "Hunt for the Trump Tapes." Unfortunately for Arnold's fantasy scenario, Michael Cohen himself tweeted the sad reality of their brief meeting on Friday.
Appreciate @TomArnold kind words about me as a great father, husband and friend. This was a chance, public encounter in the hotel lobby where he asked for a selfie. Not spending the weekend together, did not discuss being on his show nor did we discuss @POTUS. #done #ridiculous— Michael Cohen (@MichaelCohen212) June 23, 2018
TOM ARNOLD: Let me say one thing about Michael Cohen. First of all, he’s talked about how kind and appropriate the FBI was when they came to his place. You know and Donald Trump talks about... The president is trying to say that the FBI and are all these criminals, it’s just not true. The FBI was completely appropriate. Michael Cohen said they knocked on his door and were so nice to him. ....He has no problem with the FBI... They were kind to him when they knocked on his door and took his stuff.
Michael Cohen told you all this during your brief selfie encounter? Is there a medication that slows down time for Tom?
And now poor Tom has extreme difficulty answering a simple Yes or No question:
HARLOW: Did Michael Cohen tell you he had something incriminating on President Trump?
ARNOLD: How could he not have any...?
HARLOW: Hold on, yes or no?
ARNOLD: Hold on, I'm not on trial here. Slow down. SLOW DOWN.
Arnold then proceeded to spend a lot of breath not answering the question despite being prompted again by Poppy Harlow concluding with:
ARNOLD: What is it you want me to say?
HARLOW: I just want to know the answer. I want to know if Michael Cohen said to you, "Tom, I have something incriminating on the president."
ARNOLD: No, he didn't say those words. Why would he say those words? That sounds weird.
Whew, thank you for finally answering the question, Tom. It sure took you long enough while we had to endure long minutes of your confused stream of consciousness floating in and out of reality. Tom also played the same game with Poppy Harlow when not anwering her question about if Michael Cohen played the tapes for Arnold before finally answering "no."
Milking his seconds long selfie enounter with Michael Cohen for all its worth, Arnold shared with Harlow what he thought Cohen's feelings for Trump was at the current time.
Here is yet another example of Arnold not answering Harlow's question:
HARLOW: You know what’s interesting, you’ve had six meetings, you said. With Michael Cohen. When did those meetings happen?
ARNOLD: When exactly?
ARNOLD: There was the one with Don Jr. At Trump Tower.
Again, Arnold was unable to answer the question although he did somehow bring in his best friend, Steve Tisch.
And now an embarrassing moment for Poppy Harlow...although the entire interview is quite embarrassing:
ARNOLD: I will tell you that everything, every tape, the P tape, I would bet that every tape is real.
HARLOW: I’m sorry. What’s — are you talking about the word he used on Access Hollywood?
ARNOLD: That’s real. The pussy tape is real.
HARLOW: Let’s not use this word on the program.
What's the problem, Poppy? Didn't your own CNN gleefully repeat the unbleeped word "S***hole" 195 times in one day?
Arnold later boasted about spending the weekend at a hotel with Michael Cohen despite the fact his only encounter with him was the seconds long selfie in the lobby:
ARNOLD: I think that the president is watching this interview and he knows Michael Cohen and I when I leave here, I’m going back to the Regency with Michael Cohen. Consider this. And I’m going to spend the weekend with Michael Cohen. And the president and Donald Trump, Ivanka Trump, I’m spending the weekend hanging out with Michael Cohen. And there’s a lot going on. So you’ve disrespected him and his family and there’s a lot going on. That’s good enough for me.
I'm sure Michael Cohen would just love spending the weekend with Tom Arnold as he flitters through a variety of alternate realities including the one where they are close buddies.
Okay, time now for the first brain freeze by Tom Arnold. It comes at the 12:18 mark in reaction to this Poppy Harlow question and lasts 9 seconds.
HARLOW: Did Michael tell you specifically that he is working with the authorities, that he has agreed to cooperate with the authorities in their investigation?
Unable to get an answer to that question, Poppy repeated it resulting in an even longer brain freeze of 25 loooong seconds beginning at the 13 minute mark. It is unknown whether Arnold had a flashback during his brain freeze to his Michael Cohen selfie or to a long fantasy meeting with him as Cohen played the Trump tapes. In any event...