Colbert Trashes Vindicated Christian Baker as Sex-Obsessed ‘Fundamentalist’

June 5th, 2018 6:17 PM

Christian baker Jack Phillips scored a major victory for religious freedom advocates on Monday after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 7-2 that the Colorado Civil Rights Commission discriminated against his religious beliefs. But there were some like CBS’s Stephan Colbert, who declared on The Late Show that night, that it was “a bad day for gay rights in America and also for cake rights.

[T]his morning, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of a Colorado baker who refused to bake a cake to celebrate the marriage of a same-sex couple. That is tough news,” Colbert, the supposed Bible teacher, bemoaned to his liberal crowd. “But to lighten the blow, the Supreme Court did send the gay couple a lovely cake,” he added as an image of a cake in the shape of a middle finger flashed on the screen.

Of course, Colbert omitted the part where liberal Justices Stephan Breyer and Elena Kagan joined with the conservatives to form the majority, with the opinion written by Justice Anthony Kennedy. But that didn’t stop him from smearing Phillips as a radical “fundamentalist-Christian” who would have a place in the “Museum of Intolerance.

The supposedly religious man then lambasted the Supreme Court for lending credibility to Phillips’ religious beliefs by perverting Scripture:

Philips evidently refused to bake a wedding cakes for any gay couples, in violation of Colorado's civil rights law but the supreme court found that “the reason and motive for the baker's refusal were based on his sincere religious beliefs and convictions.” Yes, all rate there in the gospel, “I say to you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you but if I catch you frosting a gay cake, you go to hell!”

 

 

Given Colbert’s vicious opposition to Phillips’ religious rights, it’s likely he agreed with the Colorado Civil Rights Commission’s bigoted summation that such religious beliefs were akin to defending slavery and the Holocaust.

In addition to Colbert’s personal smears, the show’s cold open mocked Phillips as just a man obsessed with sex.

Hello! Thanks to the new Supreme Court ruling, there's never been a better time to jump into the hetero-pastry industry, which is why I opened Straight Cakes where we guarantee all our cakes are straight, like the bible intended,” an actor playing a nameless baker said. According to the “baker,” you could tell the cakes were “straight” because they all featured heterosexual couples having sex:

And how do you know our cakes are straight? Because every single cake features a guy doing it to a lady. Anniversary cake, guy doing it to a lady. Graduation cake, guy doing it to a lady. Grandma's birthday, old guy doing to an old lady. We also have cupcakes with little guys doing it to little ladies

So come on down to Straight Cakes where our motto is, ‘No cake leaves the shop unless I'm aroused by it,’” the baker grinned.

This nonsense only serves to mischaracterize and demonize innocent people.

The relevant portions of the transcript are below, click "expand" to read:

 

 

CBS's The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
June 5, 2018
11:35:29 p.m. Eastern

FAKE BAKER: Hello! Thanks to the new Supreme Court ruling, there's never been a better time to jump into the hetero-pastry industry, which is why I opened Straight Cakes where we guarantee all our cakes are straight, like the bible intended. And how do you know our cakes are straight? Because every single cake features a guy doing it to a lady. Anniversary cake, guy doing it to a lady. Graduation cake, guy doing it to a lady. Grandma's birthday, old guy doing to an old lady. We also have cupcakes with little guys doing it to little ladies. So come on down to Straight Cakes where our motto is: “No cake leaves the shop unless I'm aroused by it.”

(…)

11:43:50 p.m. Eastern

STEPHEN COLBERT: In other legal news, it's a bad day for gay rights in America and also for cake rights. Cuz this morning, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of a Colorado baker who refused to bake a cake to celebrate the marriage of a same-sex couple. That is tough news. But to lighten the blow, the Supreme Court did send the gay couple a lovely cake (shows cake flipping the bird).The case centered around fundamentalist-Christian baker Jack Philips seen here posing for his statue in the Museum of Intolerance. Philips evidently refused to bake a wedding cakes for any gay couples, in violation of Colorado's civil rights law but the supreme court found that “the reason and motive for the baker's refusal were based on his sincere religious beliefs and convictions.” Yes, all rate there in the gospel, “I say to you love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you but if I catch you frosting a gay cake, you go to hell!” [CROWD CHEERS] Meanwhile — what gospel is that? I don’t remember that.