EYE ROLL: New York Times Opinion Tweets Anti-Trump ‘Star Wars’ Opening Crawl

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In a tweet that’s been so heavily ratio’d that it must make the disgraced Des Moines Register jealous, The New York Times Opinion Twitter account video-tweeted Thursday night a lame anti-Trump manifesto staged as a parody of the opening crawl to the Star Wars movies.

The content of The Times’s tweet was “inspired by” David Leonhardt’s September 22 column, “Donald Trump vs. the United States of America; Just the facts, in 40 sentences,” so someone apparently thought it was worth defiling not only the Declaration of Independence but Star Wars too.

 

 

The video started with the words “A long time coming for a White House far, far from reality,” replacing the classic Star Wars phrase “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.”

And with that, an all-caps “TRUMP” flashed on-screen before fading back with music that, while not the theme composed by John Williams, came across like a cheap-sounding knock-off. 

Then, just like in the Star Wars films, the episode title (45, so not in roman numerals) appeared with the all-caps title of THE LAST STRAW.”

In the first three graphs, the President and his supporters were painted as any one of the Star Wars villains from the “Dark Side” (Trade Federation, Sith, Empire, or First Order) and pitted against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and ostensibly the rest of America representing the “Light Side” (the Republic, Jedi, Rebellion, or Resistance) (click “expand”):

Chaos has engulfed the Republic. For three years, Trump and his allies have ushered in the obliteration of moral norms for personal gain. But now, the president has launched a fresh assault on fair elections — the crowning glory of American democracy.

To restore some semblance of order to the universe, Nancy Pelosi has announced an official impeachment inquiry into the president’s abuse of power in pressing a foreign government to investigate his political rival.

While the Congress of the Republic scrambles, the citizens of the galaxy reflect on a few of Trump’s previous actions.

Things grew even more ludicrous as the remaining crawl consisted of 21 grievances against the President, ranging from this past week to the beginning of the decade. 

The list began with “He divulged classified information to foreign officials” and covered everything from hush money payments to refusing to place his financial assets in the blind trust to criticizing Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell to “undermine any independent source of information that he does not like” to even his attack on Megyn Kelly.

The screed ended with his offensive and ugly promotion of birtherism that, according to The Times, was how he “launched his political career.”

This farce of an exercise harkened back to the December 21, 2015 edition of MSNBC’s Hardball when it opened with an opening crawl of its own that proclaimed a “period of civil war within the Republican party” while “President Obama, Hillary Clinton, & the Republican establishment appear to have formed a coalition rejecting [Donald] Trump’s appeal to the DARK SIDE.”

So, if there’s a less that can be learned, it’s that perhaps parodying Star Wars isn’t something the liberal media should dabble in anytime soon (or ever).

To see the full, transcribed text of the New York Times Opinion video from September 26, click “expand.”

New York Times Opinion
September 26, 2019
8:45 p.m. Eastern

[STAR WARS THEME MUSIC]

ON-SCREEN CRAWL: A long time coming for a White House far, far from reality....

TRUMP

Episode 45!

THE LAST STRAW

Chaos has engulfed the Republic. For three years, Trump and his allies have ushered in the obliteration of moral norms for personal gain. But now, the president has launched a fresh assault on fair elections — the crowning glory of American democracy.

To restore some semblance of order to the universe, Nancy Pelosi has announced an official impeachment inquiry into the president’s abuse of power in pressing a foreign government to investigate his political rival.

While the Congress of the Republic scrambles, the citizens of the galaxy reflect on a few of Trump’s previous actions.

He divulged classified information to foreign officials. 

He publicly undermined American intelligence agents while standing next to a hostile foreign autocrat.

He hired a national security adviser who he knew had secretly worked as a foreign lobbyist.

He violated federal election law by directing his lawyer to pay $280,000 in hush money to two women with whom he allegedly had sex.

He invited a hostile foreign government to hack his political rival in the 2016 elections.

He tried to obstruct an independent investigations into foreign interference in the 2016 elections.

He has called for his opponents and critics to be investigated and jailed.

He has encouraged his supporters to commit violence against his political opponents. 

I’m sure you get the point, but there’s so much.

He actively solicits business from foreign governments.

He encourages foreign leaders to enrich him and his family by staying at his hotels.

He clings to conflicts of interest by refusing to divest his assets or place them in a blind trust.

He said that a judge overseeing a fraud case against his university could not be objective because of his Mexican heritage.

He tried to harass the chairman of the Federal Reserve into lowering interest rates.

He damaged the credibility of criminal investigations by claiming law-enforcement agents and prosecutors regularly fabricate evidence.

He falsely accused his predecessor of wiretapping him. 

He attempts to undermine any independent source of information that he does not like, including judges, scientists, journalists, election officials, the F.B.I., the C.I.A., and the Congressional Budget Office.

He lied to the American people about his company’s business dealings in Russia.

He tells new lies virtually every week about the economy, voter fraud and even the weather. 

He has described women, various, as “a dog,” “a pig” and “horseface,” as well as having “blood coming out of her wherever.”

He enthusiastically campaigned for a Senate candidate who was accused of molesting multiple teenage girls. 

He launched his political career by falsely claiming that he first black president was not really American.

Inspired by a David Leonhardt column on 9/22/2019

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