Kimmel Claims GOP is Pro-Life Because It 'Can't Get Laid'

May 13th, 2022 10:47 AM

ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel may have been absent the week the Supreme Court draft opinion overturning Roe v. Wade was leaked, but he tried to make up for that on his Thursday show where he suggested that the reason people are pro-life is because they “can’t get laid.”

Kimmel had just made a quip about Spain’s new "menstrual leave" law, when he showed he really has no idea what pro-lifers actually believe, "Meanwhile, here in the USA, our Republican leaders in Washington are writing a bill that says if a woman has her period in the workplace, she is guilty of witchcraft and should be captured in a burlap bag and cast into the sea."

 

 

Proceeding to mischaracterize the Senate vote that would expand abortion beyond Roe, Kimmel declared "Things are getting very heated in Washington. Yesterday, Republican senators and Joe Manchin nixed a bill that would protect a woman's right to choose. You'd think these people would be for the right to privacy, considering how many of them keep getting caught on tape doing weird stuff to their cousins, but they're not."

After repeating President Biden’s fearmongering that same-sex marriage and interracial marriage will be next on the conservative agenda, Kimmel retorted, "These guys, they might as well just come out and say, 'Listen, here's the real story, if we can't get laid, nobody else is going to have any fun either.'"

No, Jimmy, the real story is that life is more important than convenience. It’s not that complicated.

This segment was sponsored by Subaru.

Here is a transcript of the May 12 show:

ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live!

5/12/2022

11:37 PM ET

JIMMY KIMMEL: Meanwhile, here in the USA, our Republican leaders in Washington are writing a bill that says if a woman has her period in the workplace, she is guilty of witchcraft and should be captured in a burlap bag and cast into the sea. Things are getting very heated in Washington. Yesterday, Republican senators and Joe Manchin nixed a bill that would protect a woman's right to choose. You'd think these people would be for the right to privacy, considering how many of them keep getting caught on tape doing weird stuff to their cousins, but they're not and President Biden weighed in yesterday. He predicted that if the Supreme Court overturns Roe V. Wade, the next target for conservatives will be same-sex marriage. They’ll come for same-sex marriage, they'll come for interracial marriage, they’ll outlaw that peanut butter that comes with the jelly in the same jar. These guys, they might as well just come out and say, "Listen, here's the real story, if we can't get laid, nobody else is going to have any fun either.”