Deep Theological Thoughts From … Dylan Mulvaney

April 19th, 2023 1:35 PM

Dylan Mulvaney is “trying really hard to maintain a relationship with God.” Admirable. Of course, it might be easier if Mulvaney didn’t reject His handiwork. 

If you didn’t know (and if you didn’t you’re one of a happy few), Mulvaney is a 26 year-old actor and TikTok pest who publicly “transitioned” to being a “woman” and now runs around as a campy Audrey Hepburn look-alike.

For this, he’s been celebrated by leftist elites and received lucrative endorsement partnerships with Bud Light and Nike. Apparently, actual women are hard to come by in giant corporations. You can buy swag from his website. Mocking God’s Creation seems to be a good way to earn your daily bread.

According to Neil Munro at Breitbart, back in March somebody interviewed Mulvaney about faith and Relevant Magazine posted it because of the Bud Light brewhaha. “I don’t think He made a mistake with me, and that maybe one day, I will actually be grateful for being trans, that this isn’t some curse, but it’s just a different path to the same destination,” Mulvaney said. 

Maybe, Aquinas. But self-obsession and acute narcissism are a tough place to start. 

Munro notes that Mulvaney’s been kvetching to anyone who’ll listen that he feels entitled to a date and doesn't understand why they’re not beating down his door (I guess he likes girls). “I still haven’t been kissed as a girl. And I assumed that I would have had that happen before day 365 [of his transition],” he told the Daily Mail. ‘

“I’m getting a little impatient because, especially when you’re feeling yourself and even looking at that Grammys picture, I’m like, that’s somebody who should not be single,” Mulvaney told People magazine on March 2. “But then you’re like, wait, why is no one in the DMs?”

Girls, what are you waiting for? He’s theologically accomplished and I bet he sings a mean “Moon River.” He/She/They could be the ______ of your dreams!