Eight Reasons We’ll Miss ‘Last Man Standing’

May 19th, 2017 1:05 PM

Let’s face it, in the age of “woke” celebrities and ESPN talking heads, “shut up and sing” (or act, or catch the ball, etc.) is an increasingly unrealistic conservative ideal. Yes, many of us would love to be entertained without politics – right or left – intruding. But it ain’t gonna happen.

That’s why it was nice to have Last Man Standing for the last six years, and many people suspect its the real reason ABC unexpectedly canceled it last week. Tim Allen’s sitcom was about the only show on TV to regularly skewer the left. Coming along in the Obama years, when supposedly edgy late night comedians couldn’t find anything to mock about “The One,” LMS was a welcome exception to the presidential adulation. It carried on into the Hillary Clinton campaign and the birth of “the Resistance.” It will be missed.

Here are some reasons why.

1. Important Life Lessons

Mike: What do we call people that go willy-nilly through life, just doing things because it feels good?
Boyd: Democrats.
Mike: Attaboy

2. Reasoned Discourse

Eve: It's my government class. We have this debate coming up, and my teacher is making us take the opposite side of our political beliefs, which means I have to be a ... Liberal. 
Ryan: It's not a curse word. 
Eve: Well, it is in this house. So I've been researching liberal positions. I Googled “How to talk out of your ass,” but that was no help. 

3. Exquisite Sensitivity

Mandy: The faculty committee needs to approve it after they check for micro-aggressions.
Mike: Micro-aggressions? You mean, like, midget warriors?
Mandy: No. They're objectionable words or phrases. For instance, "Midget warriors."
Mike:  I know what micro-aggressions are. It's the latest liberal attack at free speech. And a lot of fun if you do them right.

4. International Scope

Mike: Okay, cool. Hey, Wayne. Mike Baxter. Nice to meet you. 
Wayne: You, too. Your hands are as soft as a liberal's foreign policy. 
Mike: Well, except these hands actually…
Wayne: Actually work. You used that line in Vlog 304, when you had a sale on Dr. Brown's Camping Soap.

5. Career Advice

Mike: So, if you're a young person who's not exactly sure where life is taking you, that's okay. You know, we can't all be Barack Obama and have our first job be president. 

6. Regional Focus

Mike: Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man with a special message for our customers in California. Our rockin' earthquake kits have come a long way since the 1970s, unlike your governor. Who for some mysterious reason is still Jerry Brown. You wouldn't drive a car from the '70s unless you're an idiot, but you let old governor moonbeam drive your whole state. That's just weird.

7. More Reasoned Discourse

Eve: All right, well, if you're still cool with it, I'd love for you to coach me on some liberal arguments so I don't throw up during the debate. 
Ryan: I would be happy to. 
Eve: Cool.
Ryan: All right. Um, Obamacare. 
Eve: Obamacare is the greatest thing to ... No, I can't do it. I'm gonna need a bucket.

8. Rugged Individualism (with a swipe at Obama!)

Boyd: Stupid nanny state ruined Christmas.
Ryan: Yeah. Oh, holidays with grandpa. MM. 
Mandy: Do I need to be here for the family meeting? 
Eve: No, but I get your vote. I'm open to alliances, people, so make your best offer. 
Mike: Sit! This is not a democracy. Ugh. I started sounding like King Obama there for a minute, didn't I?