Colbert Cartoon: Trump the 'Grand Wizard' of Conservatives

July 7th, 2019 10:46 PM

It took quite a journey to get there, but Showtime’s Our Cartoon President found a way to call a group of conservatives a "white-power rally" and President Trump the "Grand Wizard." Along the way, prominent conservatives in public life, like Ben Shapiro, are dragged into the fray.

In the July 7 episode titled “Save the Right,” President Trump decides to speak up against discrimination against conservatives, especially after social media companies Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram suspend accounts of conservatives. Steve Mnuchen is used as Trump’s foil, reminding him at every turn that conservatives have power and that his (Mnuchen) name is on the money.

The president teams up with Ben Shapiro to organize a march in Washington, D.C. to demand equal rights for conservatives after Shapiro convinces President Trump to sign an executive order declaring conservatives as a protected class. He gets some advice from Justice Brett Kavanaugh, who is again portrayed as a beer hound and mocked for crying at his Supreme Court nomination hearing.



President Trump: The oppression of conservatives is becoming too much to bear.

Justice Kavanaugh: Uh, no doy! After my confirmation hearing, I couldn't show my face at O'Shittery's Beer Dump for three whole Thirsty Thursdays!

Trump: If only there was a way to throw a big enough tantrum that this nation gives us what we want just to shut us up.

Kavanaugh: Oh, but there is...

Trump: What's this a photo of -- a bag of congealed oatmeal?

Kavanaugh: It's me havin' a good cry! Do the same until the tears make such a huge puddle, it won't be clear if it's tears or pee. Everyone will be afraid to ask, so they'll just take whiffs to see if they can smell pee. Once they're sure it's not pee, they'll be so grateful, you'll get exactly what you want from them.

Trump: You're overselling it. I'll do it! This country will finally become a safe space for everyone who whines about safe spaces.

The march is held and then a rally. CNN’s Anderson Cooper reports from the scene and describes the rally for conservatives as a white-power rally and calls President Trump the Grand Wizard.



President Trump: Tomorrow millions of conservatives are coming here to march and I can't think of one thing to tell them other than I forgot to get port-a-potties.

Shapiro: Just tell them that, some day, we will achieve true equality and be able to wear a Confederate flag unitard to soulcycle.

♪♪ What do we stand for?
♪♪ Why do we fight? ♪♪
♪ To protect the lives ♪♪
♪♪ Of rich men who are white
♪♪ So Rush Limbaugh ♪♪
♪♪ Can sleep sound at night ♪♪
♪♪ And we are never held accountable ♪♪
♪♪ For a joke we made in front of a biracial co-worker ♪♪
♪♪ This is why we fight ♪♪
♪♪ For Proud Boys and alt-rights ♪♪
♪♪ For rich white men ♪♪
♪♪ And rich white men's wives

Ben Carson: I'm cool with this also.

Anderson Cooper: Conservatives from all over the country have gathered in Washington to fight for the rights of Republicans or, said another way, the president has hosted a white-power rally. The Grand Wizard is about to speak.
♪♪ Why ♪♪
♪♪ We fight ♪♪
♪♪ Save ♪♪
♪♪ The right

The rally is interrupted by a police officer because the rally organizers didn’t secure the proper permit. Trump, Kavanaugh, and everyone else there cries until the officer agrees to let them continue. Yes, it is just that dumb.

At the end of the episode, just in case it isn’t perfectly clear that to Stephen Colbert and his writing staff conservatives are really bad people, a closing message was shown at the end of the final scene. It read, “Dedicated to all those fighting those fighting for equality.”

It is just more of the same from this show. While Colbert’s show does mock some Democrats, mostly Speaker Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, it is centered about the ugliest possible criticisms of President Trump and his administration, along with other Republicans and conservatives in Washington, D.C. This is not the first time the left has smeared Ben Shapiro as being associated with the alt-right or white nationalism. Pelosi and Schumer, by the way, are mocked for not being liberal enough. It is quite the liberal bubble in which Colbert dwells.

Anderson Cooper’s labeling President Trump as a Grand Wizard wasn’t even original. On CNN, Chairman of the House Democrat Caucus Hakeem Jeffries called Trump the Grand Wizard of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in an interview on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Classy, right?