All Signs Point to ‘Indiana Jones 5’ Being Woke Sequel

April 9th, 2021 5:48 PM

The fact that they are making yet another Indiana Jones film is bad enough, but to hear that Indy’s fifth outing may end up being a woke reboot is almost too much for us to bear. 

According to the nerd outlet Bounding into Comics, the fifth Indiana Jones movie will also star leftwing British actress and Hollywood screenwriter Phoebe Waller-Bridge, the same woman that vowed to make the upcoming James Bond flick a more inclusive, social justice-oriented outing. 

According to Waller-Bridge, Bond needed a #MeToo makeover, and despite the fact that we haven’t seen exactly what that entails – considering the fifth Daniel Craig Bond film has experienced a year long delay due to COVID – it was reported in 2019 that a female character would be presented in the film as the successor to the famous male agent.

If that’s any indicator, the fantasy/archeology adventure series, originally put together by Steven Spielberg and Geroge Lucas, could get a woke refurbishment. The outlet cited a Lucasfilm press release which stated, “Phoebe Waller-Bridge (Fleabag, Solo: A Star Wars Story) will star alongside Harrison Ford, who is returning to the role of the legendary hero archaeologist, for the fifth installment of the iconic franchise.”

Fans might also recall that Waller-Bridge played a droid in 2018’s Solo: A Star Wars Story. Granted, that film did not go too deep into the radical woke hell hole, but the actress’ robot character would often shout social justice slogans in reference to freeing her fellow droids from slavery.  Another story beat featured Waller-Bridge’s character as a sexual partner for human Lando Calrissian, as the film’s screenwriters decided he would be pansexual.

Yes, those elements of the Han Solo origin story were played for laughs, but considering how Lucasfilm has been playing with leftwing politics more and more while being under Disney’s ownership, Indiana Jones is bound to have some radical themes baked into it. 

The upcoming film’s director James Mangold shared the news about Waller-Bridge’s casting with a good bit of fanfare. He stated, “I’m thrilled to be starting a new adventure, collaborating with a dream team of all-time great filmmakers … When you add Phoebe, a dazzling actor, brilliant creative voice and the chemistry she will undoubtedly bring to our set, I can’t help but feel as lucky as Indiana Jones himself.”

Speaking of Mangold, the fact that he’s directing the film is another sign that Mr. Jones will be uncovering some western civilization-subverting artifacts in his upcoming adventure. Mangold is such a tried and true lefty that he insisted over Twitter this month that he would not be making any films in Georgia due to the state’s new voter security laws. Like the radicals in the Democrat party, Mangold is not a fan of requiring voter ID for absentee ballots.

So, yes, all signs point to Indiana Jones 5 being a woke sequel, or at least adopting heavy SJW themes. Well they’re going to have to do something to distract us from how ridiculous it will watching 78 year-old Harrison diving and ducking around machine gun fire.