Doing a lame version of The Daily Show from home on Wednesday night, Trevor Noah launched into the "joke" that Donald Trump will let people die unless they're nice and polite to him. So he advised New Yorkers to tell Trump "please, Mr. President, do your mother-[bleeping] job!"
First, he mocked the President for wishing some of the shutdowns could be lifted by Easter. Noah guessed the president didn't know what Easter was, suggesting he would say "It's the day a giant rabbit saved Jesus from dying on the egg." He's seriously lame.
Then he added that the idea of churches returning for Easter services was a "supervillain's wet dream....Trump is like the Joker, only with more makeup."
Noah complained "It is so surreal that we ended up in a situation where the one person who doesn't understand how complex and dangerous this is happens to be the most powerful man in the world. It feels like if there was an asteroid hurtling towards the Earth, everyone would be trying to blow it up off course and Trump would be like 'I think we should give the asteroid a chance, folks. Maybe it's friendly.'" [In 2017, Noah joked Trump was a penis-shaped asteroid headed to collide with Earth.]
Then he turned to New York, the epicenter of the pandemic in America. He claimed that somehow the feds were only sending 400 ventilators, when they added 4,000 to the original 400. Facts don't always make their way into comedy, even when it's this preachy and unfunny.
Noah suggested "I can see why [Gov.] Cuomo is pissed at Trump. If you need 30,000 ventilators it is insulting for someone to give you 400. It's like seeing someone drowning in the ocean and instead of throwing them a life preserver, you toss them a rubber duck. 'Yeah, at least you're entertained. Quack quack."
NOAH: And apparently part of the reason New York isn't getting enough federal help is because Trump feels that Governor Cuomo is just too mean to him. This is an actual thing. Today the Daily Beast quotes a White House official saying if you are good and respectful to Trump, he will treat you the same. It is that simple, and yesterday in an interview Trump said pretty much the same thing, right out in the open.
TRUMP (on Fox): And we are doing very well with, I think, almost all of the governors. For the most part. But you know, it is say two-way street. They have to treat us well also, they can't say oh gee, we should get this, we should get that.
NOAH: Yes, you treat Trump well and he'll treat you well. Or as he would call it, a quid pro corona. So as mind boggling as it seems, as New York is in a actual crisis right now, with thousands of lives at stake and people actually dying, Donald Trump is asking people to be polite to him in exchange for his help. And so I guess to all New Yorkers, I say give the president what he wants. Tell him -- please Mr. President, do your mother [bleeping] job!