Colbert, Norton Trash 'Angry Cabbage Patch Kid' Boris Johnson: 'I Wouldn't Trust Him to Water My Plants'

September 8th, 2019 6:05 AM

Stephen Colbert sat down with British talk show host Graham Norton during Thursday’s edition of The Late Show. Not surprisingly, the two teamed up to trash the leaders of their respective countries: President Trump and Prime Minister Boris Johnson. Norton’s commentary definitely indicated that the infiltration of left-wing politics into comedy shows is not unique to the United States.

The conversation about politics began when Colbert asked “can you explain what the hell is going on over there?” According to Norton, “it’s as if the United Kingdom was embarrassed for America...felt like you’re all alone on the world stage so we found our own angry cabbage patch kid...and made him the leader.” The left-wing audience erupted into applause when Norton compared Johnson to a “cabbage patch kid.”

Norton contended that with Johnson at the most recent G7, “suddenly you felt like Don has a friend.” Norton picked up on his comparison of the two leaders to cabbage patch kids: “they can hang out together. It’s like a play date.”



Colbert chimed in and described Johnson as “such a cheap knock-off of Donald Trump that he looks like someone in Times Square pretending to be Donald Trump.” Norton continued to pile on Johnson: “I wouldn’t trust him to water my plants when I was away but somehow, he is the prime minister.”

Johnson, a staunch supporter of Brexit, became an object of scorn for the media long before the most recent edition of The Late Show. Shortly after he became prime minister, CBS correspondent Elizabeth Palmer mocked Johnson’s “buffoonery” and referred to him as “Boris the clown.”

While much of the criticism of Johnson focuses on his behavior and physical appearance, it’s his position on Brexit that really rubs the media the wrong way. The New York Times has attacked Johnson for his “crowd-pleasing, pro-Brexit bombast” and slammed the Conservative Party as a whole for embracing the Brexit referendum with “virtually cultlike certitude.”

The politically charged portion of Colbert’s interview with Norton ended with a discussion on how Johnson “lost his majority two days ago.” Norton explained to a perplexed Colbert that Johnson still holds the title of prime minister because “what he cleverly did was he said if anyone votes against me in my party…I will fire you.” Norton proceeded to accuse Johnson of “drilling holes in his own ship out of…spite.”

The media actually have a point when they say Johnson and President Trump have a lot in common. Both men have become objects of media ridicule across the globe because they dared to oppose the liberal, establishment-backed agenda of supranationalism and open borders.

A transcript of the relevant portion of Thursday’s edition of The Late Show is below. Click “expand” to read more.

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert


12:31 AM


STEPHEN COLBERT: You live in the U.K.


COLBERT: Can you explain what the hell is going on over there? Because we’ve all been watching, like, questions of the prime minister, we’ve all been watching parliament for the last few days, it’s absolute chaos.

NORTON: It’s nuts, isn’t it? Because you don’t normally see that. You don’t normally see the inside of parliament…


NORTON: …where it is just bedlam, absolutely bedlam.


NORTON: But I think, in a sweet way, it’s as if the United Kingdom was embarrassed for America, felt…felt like you’re all alone out on the world stage, so we found our own angry cabbage patch kid, and…


NORTON: …and made him the leader. It’s incredible! It’s like, you know the G7, suddenly you felt like Don has a friend. You know, they…they can hang out together. It was like a play date.

COLBERT: Boris Johnson looks like such a cheap knock off of Donald Trump that he looks like someone in Times Square pretending to be Donald Trump…


COLBERT: …you have your photo with.


COLBERT: Out there.


NORTON: Like he…how is he in charge? I wouldn’t trust him to water my plants when I was away but somehow, he is the prime minister.

COLBERT: He’s the prime minister. Now explain this to me. He lost…

NORTON: Oh, I so can’t…

COLBERT: …his majority.

NORTON: …I so can’t explain anything.

COLBERT: But wait but…but you can explain anything about how your government works because a parliamentary system, the prime minister is the leader of the majority in parliament.


COLBERT: …but he lost his majority two days ago. Why is he still the prime minister?

NORTON: Well, because, what…what he cleverly did was he said if anyone votes against me in my party…


NORTON: …I will fire you. So…

COLBERT: Kick you out of the party.

NORTON: Yeah. So, they did vote against him so he fired them. But as he fires them, his majority gets less and less and less. So, it’s like…it’s like he’s just, out of, out of sort of…it’s like he’s drilling holes in his own ship out of…


NORTON: …spite.

COLBERT: Sure, sure.

NORTON: I’ll show you…I, I…look, there’s a word called prorogue, you know, prorogue the parliament…

COLBERT: Delicious.

NORTON: …which is like shutting down the parliament.

COLBERT: Sour cream?

NORTON: I know.

COLBERT: Or applesauce?

NORTON: It was…no one had heard this word before.

COLBERT: Prorogue?

NORTON: I think that’s the word. Maybe it’s not the word.

COLBERT: You went to the queen and said can I prorogue?

NORTON: You feel like even the queen didn’t even know that word. She was like…


NORTON: One should prorogue? I…like, is that the one with the finger? I don’t…



NORTON: …like…

COLBERT: I don’t…

NORTON: …I’ve got to go back. Yeah.

COLBERT: I didn’t know there was anything that she actually could do legally. I thought she was just a…

NORTON: No, she…

COLBERT: …very nice tourist trap.

NORTON: She is a nice tourist trap and then she had to say yes. She couldn’t…

COLBERT: She can’t say no?

NORTON: She can’t say no. That queen.