CNN Clutches Pearls Over Women Choosing to Be Stay at Home Moms and Devoted Wives

February 18th, 2026 4:37 PM

Call it irony or call it hypocrisy, CNN’s The Situation Room was awash with it during their Wednesday newscast when the pro-choice outlet’s Pamela Brown clutched her pearls over Christian women choosing to put being a mother and a wife above their careers. Brown parachuted into a “patriarchal Christian communit[y]” she fishing for stories about domestic abuse. She looked on in confusion, horror, and disgust as a woman explained why she wanted to be a stay at home mom and be “submissive” to her husband.

In a continuation of her smear campaign against Christians from the previous day where she framed them as radicals and a threat to the country, Brown said she “embedded with a tight knit conservative church community in southeast Texas” to gawk at how they lived.

She opened the segment by warning that Secretary of War Pete Hegseth was follower of a pastor who taught his followers to adhere to “specific gender roles, where wives submit to their husbands and make being a mother and homemaker their primary role, while the husband acts as the head of the household and makes the executive decisions for the family.”

Sitting down with the same McIlwain family she highlighted in the first tease for her “special project” to air over the weekend, Brown was hung up on Sierra McIlwain putting her career aside to raise a family:

Sierra McIlwain left her combat role in the Army to undertake a life of submission to her husband, Andrew, a little over a year ago.

They live in this conservative, faith-centric community in Taylor, Texas. She's now in the Reserves and says she's still transitioning to this new life of being a stay at home mom to her three kids and allowing her husband to be the head of the household.

(…)

And what has that been like for you, Sierra? As someone who is an authority figure in the military but is now trying to learn how to be submissive to your husband?

 

 

The portions of the report where they were sitting around the McIlwain’s kitchen table were filled with judgmental looks from Brown (pictured above).

With Brown constantly harping on the word “submissive,” Andrew seemed to catch her off guard when he explained that he did in fact take his wife’s opinion into account (Click “expand”):

BROWN: And she's also taking on this role to try to be, you know, to be submissive to you as the husband. How has it been?

A. MCILWAIN: We make a decision and, you know, Sierra will say one thing and I might say something different. We talk about it. You know, most, most of the time. You know I - You know, I want Sierra to be - and our family, to be happy. You know I want joy to reign supreme in our household. I want the love of God to flow out. I want there to be, you know just peace and Christ-filled home. I'm submissive to Christ and then Sierra is submissive to me

BROWN: And it's interesting because I know Sierra, you've had to really adjust to this idea, but it sounds like Andrew, you're also trying to figure out –

A. MCILWAIN: Oh yeah!

BROWN: -what does it mean to be the head of the family, and for my wife to be submissive to me.

Sierra also seemed to confound the CNN co-host by explaining that her husband trusted her. “He trusts me in our home. Like he's going to go away to work. Whenever you're home with the kids, I'm going to trust you to lead our home while he's gone at work. Our children raising them up in the admonition of the Lord,” she said.

At one point, Brown seemed to look on in disgust as Sierra was explaining how she personally wasn’t getting fulfillment from her career in the military, but being a stay at home mom was (Click “expand”):

Yeah, I had just promoted to captain crying in my car, and I felt like a piece of me was dying and I just prayed. I was like, ‘Lord, what is this? Why do I feel so broken?’ I love my family. My kids are something I could have never imagined for myself. I don't know how to explain it. If you're a mom, you probably understand.

How can these two things, how come I can't have both? How can they be so separate? But this is like what made me who I am. And then my kids, on the other hand, are like, what is making me who I am becoming? And I love both of them, but I can't have both of them.

I learned like this: There was a season that was passing and it doesn't mean that those things inside of me pass too.

 

 

Since things weren’t as abusive as she was hoping, Brown spoke with the Kirby family and pressed wife Kynleigh on what would happen when there was a conflict. Of course, Brown emphasis on her husband Jonah forcing his will on her:

BROWN: What about can you say no? Like, I don't want to do that or I want to go do this, and you wouldn't want her to. How does that work?

K. KIRBY: Ultimately the buck does stop with him. And there have been moments where I am hesitant or I may question like, ‘what are we doing? Should we think this through?’ And that's part of my job, part of my job as the helpmate is to make sure we have thought of all that we can think of, but ultimately, he'll make the executive decision.

It was clear that Brown was fishing for nightmare stories of domestic abuse because when they were pivoting to a new topic, she teased Thursday segment which she said would cover “a darker side” of “patriarchal Christian communities” and highlight the “courageous women” who left them.

 

 

The timing of Brown’s “special project” was suspicious since it was the first week of Lent.

The transcript is below. Click "expand" to read:

CNN’s The Situation Room
February 17, 2026
10:37:01 a.m. Eastern

DOUG WILSON: It's a very great privilege to be speaking to you today, and I do thank God for the opportunity. In addition, I'm very grateful to the secretary of war, Pete Hegseth, both for starting this meeting and for inviting me to be here with you today.

[End soundbite]

PAMELA BROWN: That pastor you just heard is Christ Church senior pastor Doug Wilson. He presided yesterday over a prayer service at the Pentagon, a voluntary event implemented last summer by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth. Hegseth himself is a follower of Wilson's and praised him for the service. Yesterday. The Department of War's rapid response account posted an image of them together with the caption, “we are one nation under God.”

Well, pastor Wilson leads a growing network of conservative Christian churches and preaches a strict biblical interpretation of various issues. His followers are taught to follow specific gender roles, where wives submit to their husbands and make being a mother and homemaker their primary role, while the husband acts as the head of the household and makes the executive decisions for the family.

For my upcoming documentary, I embedded with a tight knit conservative church community in southeast Texas that belongs to Wilson's network of churches. The women there told me they're flourishing in their role as submissive wives.

[Cuts to video]

SIERRA MCILWAIN: I'm not used to the wife and the mother role that I am stepping into.

BROWN: Sierra McIlwain left her combat role in the Army to undertake a life of submission to her husband, Andrew, a little over a year ago.

[Singing hymn]

BROWN: They live in this conservative, faith-centric community in Taylor, Texas. She's now in the Reserves and says she's still transitioning to this new life of being a stay at home mom to her three kids and allowing her husband to be the head of the household.

S. MCILWAIN: I'm learning how to be a wife and a mother as I'm doing it, and so being coming alongside other women in households who are already doing it and have been for years, helps me.

BROWN: Yeah, I mean, you're learning. And it's unique because Andrew she has been a leader in the military, right?

ANDREW MCILWAIN: Yeah.

BROWN: And she's also taking on this role to try to be, you know, to be submissive to you as the husband. How has it been?

A. MCILWAIN: We make a decision and, you know, Sierra will say one thing and I might say something different. We talk about it. You know, most, most of the time. You know I - You know, I want Sierra to be - and our family, to be happy. You know I want joy to reign supreme in our household. I want the love of God to flow out. I want there to be, you know just peace and Christ-filled home. I'm submissive to Christ and then Sierra is submissive to me

BROWN: And it's interesting because I know Sierra, you've had to really adjust to this idea, but it sounds like Andrew, you're also trying to figure out –

A. MCILWAIN: Oh yeah!

BROWN: -what does it mean to be the head of the family, and for my wife to be submissive to me.

A. MCILWAIN: Yeah that's exactly right. I'm just, you know I read scripture and I read those passages and I'm like, ‘what does that mean?’ So I, you know, I have to - I defer. You know that's why we go to the church we do, because they don't shy away from what scripture says. They get right into it and it's more so a thing where it's like we don't favor what culture says or what trends say. And we need to have the opposite and really lean into what scripture is saying. And then, we're morally corrupt. It's not scripture. So we need there's something wrong with us and we need to adjust ourselves to what the word of God says.

BROWN: But I'm sure it can be hard day-to-day to know where that line is.

A. MCILWAIN: Oh yeah!

S. MCILWAIN: Oh yeah, we figuring it out every day. Like every - I mean, to answer the first. Like a lot of trust. He trusts me in our home. Like he's going to go away to work. Whenever you're home with the kids, I'm going to trust you to lead our home while he's gone at work. Our children raising them up in the admonition of the Lord.

BROWN: And what has that been like for you, Sierra? As someone who is an authority figure in the military but is now trying to learn how to be submissive to your husband?

S. MCILWAIN: Yeah, I had just promoted to captain crying in my car, and I felt like a piece of me was dying and I just prayed. I was like, ‘Lord, what is this? Why do I feel so broken?’ I love my family. My kids are something I could have never imagined for myself. I don't know how to explain it. If you're a mom, you probably understand.

How can these two things, how come I can't have both? How can they be so separate? But this is like what made me who I am. And then my kids, on the other hand, are like, what is making me who I am becoming? And I love both of them, but I can't have both of them.

I learned like this. There was a season that was passing and it doesn't mean that those things inside of me pass too.

BROWN: How have you managed that transition and what are the challenges been?

S. MCILWAIN: All of the military stuff, the medical stuff that I was pursuing, all of these things, these challenges, these hard things that are difficult to accomplish that I put my foot - my effort toward. They have been challenging and they have been rewarding. None of them have even come close to how challenging and rewarding being a wife and a mother is. Submitted under Christ.

[Prayers]

BROWN: Kynleigh and Jonah Kirby live in the same conservative Christian community and have four kids. They welcome the patriarchal hierarchy in their marriage.

KYNLEIGH KIRBY: Ultimately, me trusting in him and trusting in his leadership is trusting in God.

JONAH KIRBY: Seeking to live how God has designed you to live, how he has designed marriage, how he's designed male and female in a marriage. I think that's the most freeing thing. When you try to fight that, you invite a lot of problems and trials.

BROWN: What does that mean in terms of expectations for both of you?

K. KIRBY: He is a provider. If he's the provider, he would provide our home, provide our food, provide our means. And my job of glorifying it is creating a beautiful dish or creating a, you know, a beautiful place to sit and enjoy that dish, or a happy aroma of a home with my own attitude, and our children's attitude, and just to kind of glorify what he is providing.

BROWN: What about can you say no? Like, I don't want to do that or I want to go do this, and you wouldn't want her to. How does that work?

K. KIRBY: Ultimately the buck does stop with him. And there have been moments where I am hesitant or I may question like, ‘what are we doing? Should we think this through?’ And that's part of my job, part of my job as the helpmate is to make sure we have thought of all that we can think of, but ultimately, he'll make the executive decision.

[Cuts back to live]

BROWN: So, Wolf I was really grateful to these women for sitting down with me, letting us into their home, sharing their perspectives about marriage and patriarchy. So often I think people hear about these communities and make their own judgments. And so, I hope that this will shed a light for people and to better understand how they live.

In reality, the women I spoke with there in Taylor were welcoming, and as you heard them say, they truly believe the role of a homemaker is their God given purpose. Tomorrow I'll explore another side of the picture. The courageous woman I sat down with who have left patriarchal Christian communities, telling me they experienced a darker side.