On Thursday, Sean Dunn, the man charged with assaulting a border patrol agent with a sandwich, was found not guilty, and CBS’s Stephen Colbert was eager to celebrate. The Late Show host mocked the idea that a sandwich posed a grave enough threat to the officer to merit the charges by hurling a Subway sandwich at a boxing dummy using a T-shirt cannon.
Sticking with the CBS brand, Colbert played the part of a CSI (Criminal Sandwich Investigation) agent, “To truly determine whether an officer could be in danger from a high-velocity hoagie, the Late Show's crack forensic squad has recreated the exact hoagie conditions in D.C. that night, using the latest state-of-the-art Sandwich Simulator 5000. Which is definitely not just a T-shirt cannon with a $5 footlong shoved in it. Everybody stand back. I don't want you filling up before dinner. Ready. Aim. Sandwich!”
After the sandwich impacted the dummy, Colbert concluded, “Let's see the replay. And boom goes the salami! Well, judging from our findings here, we can determine that I didn't need to do this, because this afternoon we found out the D.C. sandwich thrower was found not guilty of assault. Well, that's a wrap. And justice is on a roll.”
Throwing food at someone can be a crime, so it is not as if the government’s case was completely outrageous, but even if one grants the argument that the officer was never in any danger, throwing food at someone for the sake of a political argument is still stupid, undignified, and juvenile.
Earlier in the show, Colbert addressed Thursday’s Oval Office situation where a man fainted behind President Trump. There was a photo that went around that showed Trump standing awkwardly in front of people who rushed to assist the man, which led Colbert to quip, “Honestly, it was good to see everybody rushed to help him. Well, almost everybody. Because this photo has been going around. Take a look at this viral photo from after the fainting. Look at that. They got his legs up and everything. That picture is worth a thousand words, none of which I can say on CBS.”
🚨BREAKING: A pharmaceutical representative collapses during President Trump’s Oval Office announcement, as reporters are swiftly escorted out of the room. pic.twitter.com/RskICBEcJC
— Fox News (@FoxNews) November 6, 2025
A photo captures a single moment in time. Therefore, the photo does not include video of Trump looking on with concern. Because Trump is not a doctor and there were several people already assisting the man, Trump simply decided to get out of the way.
Here is a transcript for the November 6 show:
CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
11/6/2025
11:47 PM ET
STEPHEN COLBERT: Honestly, it was good to see everybody rushed to help him. Well, almost everybody. Because this photo has been going around. Take a look at this viral photo from after the fainting. Look at that. They got his legs up and everything. That picture is worth a thousand words, none of which I can say on CBS.
…
11:56 PM
COLBERT: To truly determine whether an officer could be in danger from a high-velocity hoagie, the Late Show's crack forensic squad has recreated the exact hoagie conditions in D.C. that night, using the latest state-of-the-art Sandwich Simulator 5000. Which is definitely not just a T-shirt cannon with a $5 footlong shoved in it. Everybody stand back. I don't want you filling up before dinner. Ready. Aim. Sandwich!
Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay.
Let's see the replay. And boom goes the salami! Well, judging from our findings here, we can determine that I didn't need to do this, because this afternoon we found out the D.C. sandwich thrower was found not guilty of assault. Well, that's a wrap. And justice is on a roll.
