Kimmel Compares Trump, Cruz to STDs, Speculates About Cruz's Sex Life

October 20th, 2023 10:00 AM

ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel returned to attacking his old nemesis, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, on Thursday’s show as he compared Cruz and former President Trump to STDs while also speculating on the former’s sex life.

The reason for the venereal musings was Utah Sen. Mitt Romney’s new book, “First, Romney claimed Oprah wanted him to be her running mate in 2020 and in a new excerpt, Romney talks about trying to form a unity ticket with Ted Cruz in 2016. A Unity ticket? The only thing Americans agree on as a unit is that Ted Cruz sucks.”

 

 

On Cruz and Trump, Kimmel claimed, “That's not really unity. And look, I have a lot of respect for Mitt Romney, but trying to fight Donald Trump by teaming up with Ted Cruz? That's like trying to fight chlamydia by teaming up with AIDS.”

As for Cruz and Romney, “You got one guy with the personality of a blowup doll and another who's definitely having sex with them all the time.”

Meanwhile, Jimmy Kimmel has the personality of a bully who doesn’t know the difference between being funny or clever and just being mean-spirited.

Here is a transcript for the October 19 show:

ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live!

10/19/2023

11:42 PM ET

JIMMY KIMMEL: Speaking of sassy, we got some more hot goss from Mitt Romney's upcoming book, Don't Pee on My Dockers and Tell Me it's Raining.

First, Romney claimed Oprah wanted him to be her running mate in 2020 and in a new excerpt, Romney talks about trying to form a unity ticket with Ted Cruz in 2016. A Unity ticket? The only thing Americans agree on as a unit is that Ted Cruz sucks. 

That's not really unity. And look, I have a lot of respect for Mitt Romney, but trying to fight Donald Trump by teaming up with Ted Cruz? That's like trying to fight chlamydia by teaming up with AIDS. It's not really a -- what a combination. Mitt Romney and Ted Cruz. You got one guy with the personality of a blowup doll and another who's definitely having sex with them all the time.