Franken Labels Tucker Carlson A 'World-Class A*******'

March 23rd, 2023 10:46 AM

Comedy Central The Daily Show temp host Al Franken and correspondent Michael Kosta took aim at Fox’s Tucker Carlson on Wednesday, implying that he is a racist and labeling him “a world class asshole.”

Coming out of a commercial break, Franken proclaimed, “You know, we have a lot of fun here, but none of our jokes would be possible without the real work of real journalists. Real journalists like Tucker Carlson. Now many people know Tucker Carlson is a world-class asshole, but what those people often fail to mention is that he also looks like an asshole.”

 

 

Franken proceeded to introduce a sketch of Kosta playing the role of Gavin Bancroft, Carlson’s purported face coach. Carlson’s facial expressions are well known and joking about them is not necessarily mean-spirited, such as when Kosta “asked” Carlson “to look dumbfounded. As if Nintendo just announced Luigi’s trans.”

However, there is a difference between poking fun at Carlson’s unique mannerisms and simply being mean-spirited, such as when Kosta explained that “It’s such a treat to get to work with Tucker. He's got all the attributes a face coach could want. A 40-pound skull, natural mouth breather, the haircut of a drunk lacrosse dad. It’s a face that is made to tell old people that Abbott Elementary is Critical Race Theory.”

Abbott Elementary is a peculiar show to single out, considering it has skewered wokeness on multiple occasions. Still, Kosta then tried to suggest that Carlson, and presumably anybody else who cares border security, is motivated by racism, “Hey, Tuck, let's just try a casual smile like you were walking to work and you saw a Mexican family getting evicted.”

Kosta then concluded by declaring that “at the end of the day, Tucker knows where his bread is buttered, and that’s looking like Frankenstein walked in on his parents having sex.”

Actually, that would be Frankenstein’s monster. The Daily Show can’t even insult people correctly.

This segment was sponsored by Chili’s.

Here is a transcript for the March 22 show:

Comedy Central The Daily Show

3/22/2023

11:16 PM ET

AL FRANKEN: Welcome back to The Daily Show. You know, we have a lot of fun here, but none of our jokes would be possible without the real work of real journalists. Real journalists like Tucker Carlson. Now many people know Tucker Carlson is a world-class asshole, but what those people often fail to mention is that he also looks like an asshole. Although it turns out, he gets a lot of help as we will discover in another installment of "The people behind the people." 

TUCKER CARLSON: We have this information that's part of a criminal investigation but we can't announce immediately as we typically do. We’re going to hold it until--. 

MICHAEL KOSTA [AS GAVIN BANCROFT]: Okay, great, now, I want you to look dumbfounded. As if Nintendo just announced Luigi’s trans. Good, good, yes, yes.

My name is Gavin Bancroft and I'm Tucker Carlson's face coach. 

If you’ve ever seen Tucker looking like a groom that pooped himself at the altar or a scandalized baked potato, well then you’ve seen my work. 

KOSTA: All right, Tucker, gaze into the camera like you are a 10-year-old watching a cow give birth. Perfect. Okay, now hold it. Hold it. Hold it! Some people think Tucker was born with a face that looks like an inbred boat shoe but it is actually a lot of hard work. 

[Bleep] Yeah! 

That’s why he pays me $400,000 a year. America. 

Okay, and now laugh like you are a fancy prince who just saw a peasant get kicked by a mule! 

CARLSON: Oh, god, because we don't do math. [Sarcastic laugh] 

KOSTA: Oh, I’m constantly looking for inspiration. I’ll scour the internet for new surprised and disgusted faces Tucker can make during his interviews or when he finds out one of the m&ms is a lesbian. 

CARLSON: The green m&m got her boots back, but apparently is now a lesbian maybe?

KOSTA: It’s such a treat to get to work with Tucker. He's got all the attributes a face coach could want. A 40-pound skull, natural mouth breather, the haircut of a drunk lacrosse dad. It’s a face that is made to tell old people that Abbott Elementary is Critical Race Theory. We’ve experimented with more subtle expressions.

Hey, Tuck, let's just try a casual smile like you were walking to work and you saw a Mexican family getting evicted. 

But at the end of the day, Tucker knows where his bread is buttered, and that’s looking like Frankenstein walked in on his parents having sex. 

All right, that’s a wrap on Tucker's face! Tucker's face, everyone! See you tomorrow!