Don’t Worry, Ellen Is Also Confused By Non-Binary Gender Pronouns

March 21st, 2017 1:50 PM

Even Ellen’s a bit baffled by “gender fluidity” and preferred pronouns.

In her show's March 20 episode, the lesbian host discussed the concept with actress Asia Kate Dillon, who plays TV's first gender non-binary character. Visibly confused, Ellen quipped: “I think people assume just because I’m gay I understand all this."

In reality, although members of the LGBT community are often lumped together, it doesn’t necessarily mean they get each other. 

“Let me understand this and help everyone understand this,” Ellen began. “Your character on [Showtime’s Billions] is a non-binary, identifies non-binary and you also identify that way. Explain what that means.” 

“So non-binary is a term used by some people—myself included—who experience their gender identity as falling somewhere outside the boxes of man or woman,” Dillon responded.

Ellen’s bewilderment was palpable.

“Ok, so you don’t, and you— you prefer to be referred to as ‘they’ or ‘them’?” 

“Mmhm, I use the singular ‘they,’ ‘them,’ ‘their’ pronouns.”

“So, ok, because you don’t, but is it, is it— if someone says ‘she,’ because you were born a female—”

“I was assigned female at birth.”

“—And you are a female, but you don’t choose to identify that way.”

After Dillon explained the viewpoint that “sex and identity are different,” Ellen asked about the actress’ boyfriend. 

“I have a partner who is a self-identified man,” Dillon corrected.

“Ok, sorry,” Ellen responded amidst laughter from the audience. “But I can call him ‘he’?”

Dillon smiled and affirmed that, before conceding that this non-binary language is “a hard thing to get used to.”

That’s for sure. And it’s even harder to adjust to being called a bigot if you refuse to amend your language.

Even Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a darling of progressive feminism, has expressed concerns. The writer and speaker landed in hot water after pushing back against the transgender movement, commenting that trans women have masculine privilege and cannot understand womanhood in the same way as females.

Adichie articulated her views on the alarming PC culture in a March 12 Facebook post. “I think it also illustrates the less pleasant aspects of the American left, that there sometimes is a kind of language orthodoxy that you’re supposed to participate in, and when you don’t there’s a kind of backlash that gets very personal and very hostile and very closed to debate.”