Context! Massachusetts School Super Reintroduces Gay Smut to Libraries

February 22nd, 2023 11:42 AM

You know the assorted fruitcakes, moon bats and unicorns that regularly show up on @LibsofTikTok claiming to be teachers? Have you wondered who the hell would give them access to children?

Well, meet Peter Schafer, superintendent and chief groomer of Abington, Massachusetts, Public Schools. (Oh, we’re not supposed to say “groomer?” How about “sexualizer?” “Perversion facilitator?” I know: “smut contextualizer.”)

Schafer is all about context. That’s why he read the controversial “This Book is Gay” and okayed its reintroduction to the district’s school libraries. Asked by Fox News why he thought a book about “among other things: Orgies, kinks, fetishes, sex apps, bath houses, [a] casual hookup app, [and] detailed information on how to have anal sex, as well as other sexual activities" deserved a spot near “The Wind in the Willows” and “Johnny Tremain,” Schafer explained, "After reading the entire book and understanding it in full context, I decided to put it back in the library."

Context! According to Fox, Schafer “did not respond to a follow-up email on the ‘full context’ of a book which offers information on ‘how sex apps work.’" 

Hey, he’s a professional educator. If he says there’s context, you can bet its super educational context based on cutting edge pedagogical theory from credentialed pedagogues at impressive institutions. It’s not for the likes of Fox News or – worse – concerned parents to question him.

If you don’t see the context and educational value of learning how to use the anonymous gay hookup app Grindr, well, Schafer can’t help you. Similarly, if you discount the life skills imparted by learning to turn tricks (because you’re “that horny”) or organize orgies, perhaps you don’t understand what it takes to prepare children for the rough and tumble of modern meritocracy.

And for you fuddy-duddy classical education types, “This Book is Gay” quotes the title of one of Shakespeare’s most enduring sonnets: “"Let's Talk About Dildos.”

You see, context is everything. Abington parents should count themselves lucky to have Peter Schafer contextualizing their kids.