We can’t know when someone in Richmond, Virginia will find the time capsule placed on Monument Avenue at the behest of current governor Ralph “Mammy” Northam. But we know with certainty that whoever opens it will think, “Boy, 2021 was a stupid time to be alive.”
This week, the famous statue of General Robert E. Lee was torn down in Richmond to please the young Taliban. It is rumored that the stone pedestal contains a time capsule from the statue’s erection in 1887. Northam is only giving crews a day to find it, because it “promoted Lost Cause mythology and only represented the stories and experiences of a small segment of society.”
Indeed, the contents of the new capsule are intended as a “response” to the old capsule, because of our current conception of history as an ideological pissing match.
The document from the governor’s office that explains the “vision” and lists the capsule’s is a pretty reliable liturgical guide to our woke religion, including all the holy incantations. The capsule is “a representation of the Virginia today [sic], one rooted in our values of inclusion, equity, and diversity. The items selected were chosen to tell the stories of courageous groups who fought for a more equitable, diverse, and inclusive society, while honestly portraying the work that still remains.”
In other words, it’s all pandering and identity politics. There's nothing bold or heroic or optimistic here. Northam has a magic box into which he’s going to put all the sins of the past so he can show the future how virtuous he is in the present
Besides an “Expired Vial of COVID-19 Pfizer Vaccine and CDC Vaccination Record Card” (because we want our descendants to know that 2021 adults were weak and precious creatures), here are just a few of the things Northam wants future Virginians to find:
- "Writing a new history" Kente cloth worn by the Commissioners of the Congressionally chartered 400 Years of African-American History Commission and Ghanian emissaries that participated in the 400th commemoration of 1619. Surprising Governor Black Face wouldn’t want to keep this around for costume parties.
- “Black Lives Matter” sticker.
- Virginia is for Lovers “pride” pin and sticker.
- Photos and fliers from “Stop Asian Hate” protests in May 2021.
- Copy of the LGBTQ Richmond Walking Tour. Finally, something future Virginians can really use!
- Booklet which outlines Virginia’s first One Virginia Plan for Inclusive Excellence. Oh man, a whole booklet of woke blather put through the government human resources-speak blender? Northam really hates future Virginians..
- “Charlottesville’s Robert E. Lee Monument is Coming Down, Thanks to Me and Black Women Like Me” July 10, 2021 Teen Vogue article. Always good to include something from the magazine that pioneered anal sex tutorials for teens.
- “Post-Colonial Love Poem” by 2021 Pulitzer Prize for Poetry Winner Natalie Diaz. “Post-Colonial” Again, what did future Virginians do to Northam?
Disdain for prior generations is in fashion right now. Governor Northam is doing his part to make it all the rage in the future too.