Colbert's 'Our Cartoon President:' ‘You’d Have to Be a F***king Idiot’ to Vote Trump

November 1st, 2020 11:37 PM

Election Day is just two days away so what better time for a last-minute plea from a late-night show host’s animated political cartoon show to get out the vote for Joe Biden? On November 1, Stephen Colbert’s Our Cartoon President aired on Showtime and did just that.

The episode titled “Closing Arguments” began with a satirical look at campaign rallies held by both President Trump and Joe Biden. Kamala Harris and Melania Trump are also included in the glimpses into the closing arguments the candidates are making to voters in a get-out-the-vote effort.

During a Biden rally, he is alarmed to realize that his voters have mailed in their ballots instead of any of them waiting to vote in-person on Election Day. He references the potential for the Supreme Court calling the election and then slams the newest Supreme Court Justice, Amy Coney Barrett, as "a lady who answers to 'baby vessel.'"


Biden: How many of you folks are voting by absentee ballot? And how many are voting in person on Election Day? [Person coughs] Cool coolI'm sure our honorable Supreme Court will treat all votes the same. What's it up to now? Eight Catholics and a lady who answers to "Baby vessel"? 

Trump: My path to victory is clear. I just have to unite my vast coalition of poor and rich racists! I'm looking at you, suburban women, who's biggest contribution to the black community was renting Get Out on Prime.

Kamala Harris:  I promise to stand by Joe's side for the next four years. But, if he runs for a second term, we are going to have problems! 

Trump: Oh my God! It's gonna be a bloodbath! He could win Texas! What happened... Besides the plague? 

Kamala: I'm gonna just keep going. The longer I talk, the less time Joe has to fuck it up. 

Melania: You know when you make a bad choice, but it's too late to back out, so you invest your whole being into a worthless sack of shit you just know will ruin your life? Uhp, forgot who I'm talking to. You guys get it.

Trump: Give it up for Melania. I love her so much, and one day I'll find out where she lives. 

Biden: Folks, Trump, COVID, folks, This is about democracy. It's about character. This is about democracy. It's about character. Jill! I'm stuck in one of those mental loops again!

While the show zings both candidates, obvious bias seeps out against President Trump. Biden is shown as having one of his frequent difficult moments. Meanwhile, Trump panics about an electoral bloodbath and losing Texas while appealing to his "vast coalition of poor and rich racists."

The storyline includes Vice President Pence coaching Trump on how to do some retail campaigning – speaking with regular Americans and listening to their concerns. Trump is shown as having disdain for his own voters, calling them "average American low-lives" and "fugly crap-lickers." He learns about empathy under Pence’s guidance and naturally is shown making it about himself. He calls all the people “Trump” as he envisions his face replacing theirs. For example, instead of saying the name Susannah, he calls a lady “Trump Susannah,” and he begins to refer to the American people as "average American Trumps." But it works.

When the Trump sons complain that their dad has become a "selfless loser" and disown him, drunk Justice Brett Kavanaugh steps in, "You need selfishness training? Well. I'm your shitbag sensei."

The show has really lost the kind of edgy dialogue from past seasons. It is running out of steam, stuck with a lot of lame lines and few, if any, are funny. The show ends with NBC news anchor Lester Holt letting the mask slip on how he feels about the election and Trump voters.


Lester Holt: It’s Election Day Eve and Americans will finally decide  whether Joe Biden ascends to the White House, or Donald Trump beats a referendum on his first term. Goodnight, and go vote. Are we off the air? I hate that I can only say "Go vote." Biden has his problems, but you'd have to be a fucking idiot to vote for...

♪ Donald Trump 

There's one thing for certain and that is President Trump has fully exposed the press as partisan and biased in favor of Democrat candidates. They no longer try to hide their prejudices while reporting. Professional journalism is dead and even leftists like Colbert know it.