On Thursday night, UCLA basketball legend and noted leftist Bill Walton (at left in photo) provided color commentary during the ESPN broadcast of the Bruins' first game since Coach Steve Alford was fired Monday. Play-by-play man Dave Pasch asked him who he'd like to see installed as UCLA's new coach, and as Cassandra Negley of Yahoo Sports reports, Walton aimed high in recommending former President Barack Obama.
Negley said Walton’s answer to Pasch's question "was far from expected." She offered the basketball junkie's so-called "credentials":
"Barack Obama, the 44th president of U.S., is a huge basketball fan and famously made releasing his March Madness brackets into an annual tradition. His brother-in-law, Craig Robinson, played at Princeton before coaching at Brown University and Oregon State. He’s currently the vice president of player and organizational development for the New York Knicks.
"Obama doesn’t have any strong ties to UCLA, or coaching for that matter, and Pasch pointed out Obama wouldn’t be in the discussion. It didn’t stop Walton from pursuing it."
Negley forgot to mention that Obama was a "star" bench warmer at Punahou Prep School in Hawaii, which also strengthens his candidacy. Christian Shimabuku, of The Sporting News, wrote Obama could have started for any other team in the state.
Walton told Pasch: “Well you keep saying that, but why? Why are you so negative? His brother-in-law coached. I’m sticking with Barack Obama until he says no.”
While Walton waits for that "no," it's worth examining what an Obama-coached UCLA team could expect.
No coaching experience? No worries. He had limited experience in the U.S. Senate before declaring himself presidential material.
Could he teach the Bruins how to shoot the basketball? Not really. Before an adoring audience, the former president once threw up brick after brick in a dreadful shooting performance on the White House's outdoor court.
How about dribbling? No, he can only go to his left.
Passing? No, as president he only passed to himself. Praise and adulation, that is.
How about defense? Again, no. President Obama weakened America's defense, so that's out.
Nevertheless, Coach Obama could become the Hue Jackson of college hoops and do so without any fear of termination whatsoever. After all, what public university in America would ever fire Obama? Three wins in three seasons doomed the former Cleveland Browns' coach, but similar failure would be no threat at all to Obama's job security.
But if winning is actually important to the diversity-minded university administration, here's something else to consider. Obama could win and win big as coach of the UCLA women's basketball team. To maintain his support from the LGBTQ groups, he'd most likely recruit sexually confused men, and with a team of transgenders, he could challenge Connecticut for dominance in college women's basketball.
Whether it's UCLA men's or women's basketball, Negley ends her post by writing, "No word yet from Obama, who is likely busy enjoying his premiere on the Billboard charts." This is a reference to the versatile Obama's appearance on “One Last Time (44 Remix),” a gospel-inspired remix of the Hamilton hit, which landed at Number 22 on Billboard’s Hot R&B Songs chart. It features Obama delivering George Washington’s farewell address.
If Obama can revive memories of the "father of our country," then restoring the glory days of John Wooden's UCLA basketball dynasty just might be within his reach, too.