Last night, Fox's Family Guy rehashed the nearly 8-year-old lies against Brett Kavanaugh in an episode mocking the Supreme Court justice as a rapey alcoholic.
In the episode "Drunk With Power," Kavanaugh comes for a tour of the brewery where Peter Griffin (Seth MacFarlane) works. Kavanaugh and Peter are soon behaving like drunk teenagers together.
Kavanaugh: All people want to do is scream at me in steakhouses about women's bodies.
Peter: Yeah. My wife hates you, which kind of makes me secretly like you. Hey, Brett? Do you think that we'll still be friends at college?
Kavanaugh: I don't know, man.
Peter wakes up and discovers that Kavanaugh has swapped lives with him. He leaves a note for Peter that includes a "joking" sexual assault reference.
Peter: Oh, my God, we were super drunk last night. Did I accidentally kill Brett Kavanaugh? "Dear Peter, why did you accidentally kill me? "Just kidding. I don't want my life anymore. "You take it. Brett. "PS: this is the first time "I've ever put clothes on anyone without their consent. Ha, ha, ha." [Knocking] -
Secret Service 1: Justice Kavanaugh?
Secret Service 2: [Sighs] It's him.
Peter: Did you guys see that chick in accounting? Boy, I'd like to hustle her up some stairs against her will.
Secret Service 1: It's really him.
Secret Service 2: All right, let's get him back to the Supreme Court of the United States of America, where he serves a lifetime appointment as one of only nine Senate-confirmed justices.
Peter: It's so cool that a guy named Brett gets to decide if women can have abortions.
As a Supreme Court justice, Peter has to decide a gay marriage case. He thinks the court should ban all marriage instead. The scene mocks Clarence Thomas' wife, Virginia, as a crazy woman who Thomas secretly hates.
John Roberts: Gay marriage, what is your decision?
Peter: Well, Alito's right, the Constitution says nothing to protect gay marriage.
Alito: Yes! Fetuses will be so psyched to hear that.
Peter: But also, all people are equal under the law, which is why we must not only ban gay marriage, we have to ban straight marriage.
Clarence Thomas: Then let's do it! I hate my crazy wife! [Panting] I did it. I spoke.
Ginni Thomas: Clarence, you forgot your lunch.
Clarence Thomas: Thanks, baby.
Ginni Thomas: Ugh. It sucks that this is the only hat to overthrow democracy in.
Back in Rhode Island, Kavanaugh decides he wants to return to DC again. Peter's friend Quagmire thinks Kavanaugh is too creepy even for him.
Kavanaugh: I like rules. And I like beer. And I used to think I had to choose between making arbitrary regulations that govern every aspect of everyone's life and getting blackout drunk 24/7, but I don't have to choose. I can do both. I can do both!
Quagmire: Uh, Brett, you're peeing on yourself.
Kavanaugh: Guys, I got to get back to D.C. But first, let's write down everything in our calendars that happened the last three days.
Cleveland: Why?
Kavanaugh: So 30 years from now we can prove we didn't rape anyone.
Joe: Wait, how would an old, handwritten calendar prove anything?
Kavanaugh: Trust me, it's enough. Adios, bros.
Quagmire: That guy was a little creepy, even for me.
In the end, the Court decided not to repeal the current gay marriage ruling. "You want to take away their freedom? Let them get married!" Peter argues to the justices.
For satire to work, it has to have some basis in reality. The episode relies on fake narratives that nobody outside a far-left bubble actually believes. The claims against Kavanaugh were so clearly manufactured in 2018 that the smear campaign against him cost Democrats critical Senate seats.
As for the portrayal of Thomas' marriage, it is well known in Washington, D.C. that Clarence Thomas and his wife Virginia adore each other and that she is a loving presence in his life.
Why is creator Seth MacFarlane digging out an 8-year-old smear job that the country long ago rejected? Episodes like this feel tired and old. The left is so defeated that even Democratic stalwarts like MacFarlane have run out of fresh political jokes.
