Fox’s ‘Minority Report’ Celebrates Amnesty Day, and Changing the Constitution Forever

November 16th, 2015 11:19 PM

Fox’s Minority Report has given us several glimpses into the future in its short run. And pretty much all of them stink. There was the hometown of our two main Pre-Cog characters that was ravaged by global warming, the Redskins changing their names to the Red Clouds, Obama’s face on the $500 dollar bill, and now, as if you didn’t already want to throw yourself out of a window...

I now present to you, Amnesty Day:

Vega: What's this?

Dash: It's, uh, fireworks in the shape of a torch.

Vega: Lady Liberty's torch. This is for Amnesty Day.

Dash: What's that?

Vega: A holiday. The day we gave amnesty to ten million undocumented residents. They celebrate it on the Southside.

Dash: So when's Amnesty Day?

Vega: Tomorrow.

Had to figure that one was coming though, right? However, apparently our futuristic, law-breaking Congress who grants citizenship to criminals who violate our borders makes a 21st Century “Gentleman’s Agreement” as a part of the Amnesty:

Dash: A fourteen?

Akeela: Right, you missed social studies. 40 years ago, Congress gave amnesty to all undocumented immigrants living here in the States, and as a compromise, they closed the doors on everybody else. The 14th Amendment was repealed.

Dash: Which means even if you're born here, you're not given automatic citizenship.

Akeela: Exactly. We call those people fourteens. They don't get any government benefits, and they work off the grid. Not fun.

So basically anchor babies are done away with to grant amnesty. No mention of border security having been implemented to prevent any future illegal arrivals. But hey, I’m sure that’ll be on next week’s episode.

Exceptionally rich is that the timing of this episode comes after at least one “migrant” takes part in terror attacks in Paris that killed over 120 people. That kind of awful timing can only be rivaled by a President who releases 5 murdering terrorists to the UAE after such an attack.

But that would never happen, of course. That’s crazy talk.

Granted, this episode isn’t talking about Syrian refugees. I’m sure that distinction makes all the difference in the world to the family of Kate Steinle and others who, like so many in France, have experienced their own little slice of hell while losing loved ones to people who never should have been there.