Vox's Sarah Kliff Biting Fingernails Waiting for Supreme Court King v. Burwell Decision

June 24th, 2015 3:05 PM

Anxious much, Sarah?

Sarah Kliff of Vox.com sounds like she needs to take a page out of the playbook of South Park's Eric Cartman who couldn't wait the three weeks for the Wii video game console to be released so he had himself frozen to spare himself the waiting time from his POV. Although Kliff only has to wait another day or two until the Supreme Court releases its ruling on the Obamacare King vs Burwell case, she is equally as anxious so perhaps the freezing method will spare herself the incredible level of anxiety she is currently enduring. Even though Kliff recently discovered that Obamacare stinks, she is so emotionally invested in that bloated program that she just can't let go. Therefore let us now join our Miss Kliff in the middle of her amusing King vs Burwell anxiety attack:

It's Friday, Friday, got to get Supreme Court decisions on Friday — The Supreme Court announced Monday that it will issue decisions this coming Thursday and Friday.

Sleeping bag? Check!
SCOTUS sidewalk space reserved? Check!
Pizza delivery number on speed dial? Check!

The surprising leftward lean of this Supreme Court term — An awesome graphic from the awesome folks at the Upshot shows that while the Roberts Court leans conservative, "the current term is leaning left as it enters its final two weeks."

Have you analyzed the eyebrow angles of the justices? That might also give you an indication of their inclinations.

As for what this means for King, you could probably read it either way. That the Roberts Court leans liberal this term could indicate more willingness to save a major health insurance expansion. Or it could be bad news, as the Court could be looking to offset this liberal lean in its highest-profile decisions.

Or it could mean you need to pop another Xanax.

Parsing the politics of a pro-King decision — Kaiser Family Foundation's Drew Altman thinks "Republicans would feel the heat much like they did after the government shutdown."

Hmmm... And how many Republicans voted for this Obamacare program that was poorly written?

Chart of the day

Kliff provides us with a handy flowchart chock full of text boxes of how the King vs. Burwell case got to the Supreme Court.

From the department of speculation: who is writing King? Another fun (er, "fun") guessing game attempting to figure out which justice is writing which opinion, looking at the caseload of opinions they've written so far.

I prefer the eyebrow angle analysis.

Finally Kliff brings a bit of "levity" to ease her nerves in the form of a pun from Dylan Matthews who gave us all belly laughs with his suggestions to abolish the U.S. Senate and ditch the Constitution.

King v. Burwell? More like King v. Slur-Well.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh Dylan, you are such an hilarious wit! May I have your permission to laminate that pun and carry it around in my wallet so I can recite it for easy laughs at sports bars?