On Wednesday's Tucker Carlson Tonight, the Fox News primetime host mocked Rep. Adam Schiff and the pundits who love him truly, madly, deeply. First, he said Schiff "spent the entire day delivering a lecture about the perils of cheating, like America was suddenly the world's largest middle school."
Then he noted Schiff explained to the "19 viewers still watching" that America sent military aid to Ukraine so "we can fight Russia over there and we don't have to fight Russia here." Liberals mocked that logic when it was Bush's War on Terror, but not today. Only Carlson was having fun with this:
TUCKER CARLSON: Wait a second, whoever said anything about fighting Russia much less "over here." Is Putin planning to invade the homeland? Is Milwaukee safe? Do unseen Slavic saboteurs move among us? What does Adam Schiff know about World War III that the rest of us don't know?
Well, unfortunately, no one on CNN or MSNBC thought to ask him that. They were too deep in bliss. To the mouth breathers on cable television, an Adam Schiff speech is like a brainstem massage -- surging waves of ecstasy flood the central nervous system, linear thought ceases. All that's left are satisfied grunts of pleasure.
WOLF BLITZER, CNN: A very, very powerful and forceful speech, almost two and a half hours by Adam Schiff. A very, very strong case from Adam Schiff.
GEORGE CONWAY, CNN: It was a very coherent, cohesive narrative. Something that the White House doesn't have.
ANDREW WEISSMANN, MSNBC LEGAL ANALYST: This was a speech really aimed at the better angels, and I think Adam Schiff did a really great job.
BLITZER: What did you think of the presentation by the lead House Manager, Adam Schiff?
JEFFREY TOOBIN, CNN LEGAL ANALYST: I thought it was dazzling.
Carlson then joked: "We want to apologize to any viewers under 18, who may have just watched that. It was obviously pornographic and not suitable for children."
More of the same valentines were sent on CNN on Thursday morning's New Day. In the show's first few minutes at 6 am, former Clinton spokesman Joe Lockhart dependably oozed "The Democrats put on an impressive first day yesterday. Adam Schiff was brilliant in the first two hours."
At the bottom of the hour, another Clinton-paid pundit, Paul Begala, did that one better:
PAUL BEGALA: I thought Adam Schiff's performance yesterday was masterful. I still go back and watch the 45-year-old tape of [black Texas Democrat] Barbara Jordan speaking about impeachment and the Constitution in 1974. It is one of the most brilliant summations I've ever seen of the Constitution and impeachment, and I studied it during the Clinton impeachment. I believe what Adam Schiff said yesterday is going to be studied forty or fifty years from now. That's how powerful that was.