Actor Robert DeNiro was apparently the cherry on the sourpuss sundae that is Samantha Bee's Not The White House Correspondents Dinner, taped on Friday and then aired on Saturday night on TBS. DeNiro made a joke about "nosy reporters" asking about him dropping out of high school at 16, and according to Jeremy Barr at The Hollywood Reporter, "He struggled to read from the teleprompter, saying at one point, 'Bring that down, I'm sorry.'"
He proclaimed: “I’m happy to stand with Samantha Bee tonight to support the First Amendment, the right of the President to be a relentless and unrepentant lying scumbag, the right of his supporters to not give a shit and our right to do something about it.”
DeNiro asked for donations for the Committee to Protect Journalists and added how getting rid of Trump will be like an orgasm:
Impeachment or not, there will be an election. Unless Mitch McConnell can figure out a way to stop that vote too. [A sniff of the Merrick Garland whine.] When you're casting your ballot, imagine looking into trump's eyes. You'll find them just above those creepy white puffy pouches, saying "You're fired." [Applause] Something will come over you. You'll feel an exquisite release, and you won't have to fake it.
Bee unleashed her usual witch's book of curses at Trump. "Tonight, I want to focus on what a fucking coward he is," she told an adoring crowd at DAR Constitution Hall. "Imagine being the most powerful man in the world and you can't listen to a comedian razz you for five minutes?" She added: I know you technically had a Comedy Central Roast too, but that was Apprentice Donald Trump, not President Donald Trump. That’s like roasting Hitler for his use of watercolors.”
Bee really uncorked on Sarah Huckabee Sanders -- as "hideous as a pinworm in an anus. On the inside? That woman is 90 percent taint, and I mean that medically.”
In an interview with Barr before the taping, Bee was still stewing about Sanders pushing back against Bee calling the president's daughter a "feckless c*nt" as she defended Michelle Wolf's "comedy" attacks at last year's correspondents dinner:
"It's an easy thing to deflect the words of a comedian when you need to tell a completely different story," she says. "If your actions are uncivil, I think that's so much worse. It's a fun, powerful, distracting weapon to turn the lens on us, but we're not the ones making policy. We're not the ones putting people in cages. So, fuck you. Fuck you, really."
Barr summarized some other Bee-show "highlights."
....She addressed the president directly, "on the off chance he's watching our show because Tucker Carlson ran out of racism or something."
Carlson's colleague, news anchor Shepard Smith, was dubbed "The Loneliest Boy at Fox News." In a cameo, West Wing actor Bradley Whitford told Smith, "Here's a piece of advice: get out."
....The event was a mishmash of politics jokes and journalism jokes, with Bee at one point singing a R&B slow-jam about investigative reporters, including The Washington Post's David Fahrenthold. "There’s only one thing I can’t resist, that’s a good investigative journalist," she sang. "I like it AP, Chicago, or doggy style. You know my favorite centerfold is an oiled-up David Fahrenthold."
Viewers might also see how low Katie Couric has fallen, to mocking herself on a Sam Bee special. "I’d rather get another televised colonoscopy than cover the 2020 election," she said.