Washington Post Magazine humorist Gene Weingarten is only writing one column a week, and now he's out-sourcing it to ten of his liberal friends. Together, they produced the kind of "humor" that comes from people who are still sore that Hillary Clinton isn't president. The concept was this: If the Red Hen restaurant did not kick out Trump press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, what should they have done to express their "antipathy to the Trump administration"?
The headline referred to revenge: "Best Served Cold." Let's put their rants into categories. [Image: Washington Post.]
Present each item of food while announcing, “This has not been spat into. The idea that it has saliva in it is ridiculous and frankly insulting.”
Serve her the plastic food in the window display and insist it is real.
Serve Sanders a plate that has only a sprig of parsley, a pea and a chicken beak, and when she complains about the portion size, insist it’s the largest amount of food ever served anywhere to anyone.
No matter what she orders, respond, “That’s a ridiculous order. I won’t dignify it with a response.” Then call on the next person. [That's a tiny bit funny, just thinking about Jim Acosta.]
NAZIS AND COMMIES
Hire Charlottesville neo-Nazis to “watch” her car and say it will be okay because they are “fine people.”
Serve her table blinis, borscht and vodka, announcing loudly that they’re “with the compliments of Vladimir."
HATES ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT CHILDREN
Instead of the usual light classical music or pop radio, play the “orchestra” of immigrant children crying for their mothers.
Take her kids to the kitchen for the “kids table” and never mention them, or produce them, again. At the end of the meal, promise to try to locate them with “all deliberate speed.”
That's a little menacing. Kidnap her kids, ha ha ha. Hilarious.
Station an attendant who insists on checking gender identity before allowing any members of her party to use the restroom. The attendant will be pulling on rubber gloves.
No matter what she orders, serve a wedding cake that says “Congratulations Wally and George.” Two little grooms atop.
This last category is the least surprising, since Weingarten has tweeted at me personally that my grandchildren will be ashamed of me for sticking to a biblical view of sexuality.