As Americans go from store to store, hunting for available toilet paper during the Coronavirus crisis, it occurred to us here at NewsBusters, that this isn’t the first time TP has become a major media topic. Back in the spring of 2007, liberal singer Sheryl Crow floated the idea of a self-imposed toilet paper limitation.
During a global warming college tour, Crow offered up this disturbing idea to college students: “I did have one other thing which, I think this will catch on. Everyone just uses one square of toilet tissue. I mean, there’s going to be those odd occasions when you have to use two or three. Truth be told. You could do that, right?”
She questionably claimed, ”Well, these ideas should get you thinking.”
Here’s the full exchange:
SHERYL CROW: I did have one other thing which, I think this will catch on. Everyone just uses one square of toilet tissue. I mean, there’s going to be those odd occasions when you have to use two or three. Truth be told. You could do that, right?
UNIDENTIFIED BAND MEMBER: I don’t think I could do that.
UNIDENTIFIED BAND MEMBER: No.
CROW: Too much of a commitment?
UNIDENTIFIED BAND MEMBER: I have to --- Never mind. I don’t think I could do that. But I could eat all the plastic I have come in contact with. How about that?
CROW: I think that would be admirable. I truly do. Well, these ideas should get you thinking.
UNIDENTIFIED BAND MEMBER: Brainstorming session.
CROW: Brainstorming session.
I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.
You may be searching for extra packs of Charmin next week. As you do, just remember that if you had only taken the disgusting advice of this lefty celebrity, all of America might have more to spare.
For more examples from our flashback series, which we call the NewsBusters Time Machine, go here.