Comedy? Samantha Bee: 'We Need Student Loan Forgiveness Now'

August 1st, 2019 3:51 PM

While Full Frontal host Samantha Bee briefly weighed in on the Democratic presidential debates, she devoted most of her opening monologue Wednesday night to promoting student loan forgiveness. After highlighting some of the candidates’ proposals for dealing with the student debt crisis, Bee presented her own case for the urgency of student loan forgiveness.

Bee informed her audience that “almost 45 million Americans are saddled with student loans totaling almost $1.6 trillion. That’s an expensive cover for four years of sh***y frat parties.” It did not take long for Bee to transform into activism mode, which began with her declaration that “we need student loan forgiveness now.”

Bee explained that “student loan debt is the second largest type of household debt after home mortgages.” Does she expect those to be forgiven as well? Maybe she’ll give a lecture on that next week.



According to Bee, “erasing debt wouldn’t just help the lives of people burdened by it, it would also help our economy. Research has shown that when people get their student loans forgiven, they move, get new jobs, and ultimately get more money.” The TBS host also dismissed the concerns of those wondering how to pay for student loan forgiveness, praising Democratic candidates’ plans to “tax the f*** out of the rich.”

Before taking aim at the “opponents of debt relief,” Bee attempted to lay the blame for the student loan debt crisis at the feet of the “big banks,” alleging that diplomas come “with a personal threat from Sallie Mae to beat your ass if you tried to defer.” Bee also described Sallie Mae as “one really mean old lady determined to ruin millions of lives.”



Apparently, Bee learned absolutely nothing from an embarrassing exchange Democratic Congresswoman Maxine Waters had with seven bank CEOs during a House Financial Services Committee hearing. Waters asked “what are you guys doing to help us with this student loan debt?” One of the CEOs, James Dimon of JP Morgan Chase, informed Waters that “the government took over student lending in 2010,” meaning that the evil “big banks” bear no responsibility for the massive explosion of student loan debt that has occurred since the Obama administration “effectively nationalized student lending,” as Investor’s Business Daily pointed out.

Once again, those hoping to tune into a comedy show for some laughs got a political lecture instead. Americans desperate for a reprieve from politics in comedy might want to check out David Spade’s new show, Lights Out. Not to worry, those who enjoy non-stop left-wing propaganda still have the option of tuning into Samantha Bee, Bill Maher, MSNBC, CNN, or any of the late night shows on the Alphabet Soup networks.

A transcript of the relevant portion of Wednesday’s edition of Full Frontal is below. Click “expand” to read more.

Full Frontal With Samantha Bee


10:30 PM

SAMANTHA BEE: Welcome to Full Frontal. I’m Samantha Bee. This week is the second round of Democratic debates, which means only 596 more to go until I get my free sandwich. Last night’s debate was held in Detroit, hosted by CNN, and not here to make friends.


MALE ANNOUNCER: Tonight, a fight for the heart of the party. Senator Bernie Sanders, determined to seize his second chance at the nomination, going head-to-head with Senator Elizabeth Warren; longtime friends fighting for the same cause and the same voters.


BEE: Ten candidates on stage but can any of them beat Bobby Flay? So many important issues were discussed last night. For Mayor Pete Buttigieg, perhaps the most important was reminding everybody how young he is.


MAYOR PETE BUTTIGIEG: By 2030, we will have passed the point of no return on climate. There are going to be 130 million more guns on our streets. I’ll be in my 40’s then.

DON LEMON: What is your plan for retraining workers whose jobs are at risk?

BUTTIGIEG: This happened in my community, 20 years before I was born. Americans want comprehensive immigration reform and frankly, we’ve been talking about the same framework for my entire adult lifetime. I was a junior when the Columbine shooting happened.

LEMON: Should voters take into consideration age when choosing a presidential candidate?

BUTTIGIEG: I don’t care how old you are.


BEE: I don’t care how old you are, I care how young I am, which is like, so young, you guys. My flesh is supple, I smell like a fresh green apple. Whatever, Snapchat. An issue that candidates of all ages were eager to talk about was student debt.


SENATOR ELIZABETH WARREN: Cancels student loan debt for 95 percent of the kids with student loan debt.

BUTTIGIEG: A public service loan forgiveness program.

BETO O’ROURKE: Outstanding student loan debt.

SENATOR AMY KLOBUCHAR: Student loan debt.

DANA BASH: Senator Sanders, you want to forgive all student loan debt? Your response.

SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS: Matter of fact, I do.


SAMANTHA BEE: Why would you bother asking Bernie Sanders if he’s in favor of forgiving student loan debt? That’s like asking Naughty by Nature if they’re down with O.P.P. They are. They are down with it. Pete Buttigieg does not get that reference. Look, almost 45 million Americans are saddled with student loans totaling almost $1.6 trillion. That’s an expensive cover for four years of shitty frat parties, getting jungle juice splashed all over you and no, they do not have toilet paper to clean up that mess. More than half of the Democratic candidates have announced varying plans on how to handle the debt crisis, from Bernie Sanders’ plan to erase all student debt for everyone to Kamala’s plan to forgive up to $20,000 of debt for Pell grant recipients if they started a business in a disadvantaged community that lasted three years; painfully specific but still a better plan than Michael Bennet’s, which is just to personally pay the loans of anyone who can pick him out of a lineup. We need student loan forgiveness now. Student loan debt impacts almost one in five adults. That is a huge number of people. That’s like if one member of Y2K sensation O-Town had serious financial problems. I mean, that’s just a metaphor, of course. In real life, all of them do. Currently, student loan debt is the second largest type of household debt after home mortgages and before homemade coupon books promising mom a free back rub. If all moms tried to recoup their back rubs at once, it would bankrupt the nation. 83 percent of people ages 22 to 35 say their student loan prevents them from purchasing a home. We love to talk what about the things millennials are killing; home ownership, marriage, having kids, bar soap, but those accusations aren’t fair if we aren’t also discussing the crushing debt many millennials live with on a day-to-day basis. Although honestly, they are right about bar soap. Why did we clean ourselves for so long with a pube-encrusted brick of detergent? I don’t know.


BEE: Debt forgiveness is often derided as just a ploy to attract young people but unlike my new Tik Tok account, it isn’t. Yes, I’m on Tik Tok, yes, my children told me it’s cringey, but I must Tik and I must Tok. Student loan debt impacts adults of all ages. In fact, the number of people over 60 carrying student debt has more than doubled during the last decade and comprises loans they’ve taken out for children, grandchildren and themselves. It’s an issue that can bring all of the generations together.


JACOB SOBOROFF: Who has debt?


SOBOROFF: All of you guys?

TAYLOR SMITH: Probably graduated with about $53,000 in student debt. I was struggling to buy groceries. I was donating plasma and doing like psychological studies just to get a few extra dollars.

SERAPHINA GALANTE: I’m 76, going on 77 soon.

MARK STRASSMANN: She got her master’s degree in her late 50’s here. She still owes almost $40,000 in student loans.

GALANTE: This is a mountain that I will never be able to climb. I am terrorized. The truth is it’s a terror.


BEE: That is awful. The only college struggle an old person should have is doing a keg stand.


BEE: Erasing debt wouldn’t just help the lives of people burdened by it, it would also help our economy. Research has shown that when people have their student loans forgiven, they move, get new jobs and ultimately earn more money. It’s almost like getting what a college degree used to promise back before diplomas came with a personal threat from Sallie Mae to beat your ass if you try to defer. That’s right. Sallie Mae is just one really mean old lady determined to ruin millions of lives. People relieved of student loan debts are also less likely to file for bankruptcy, be foreclosed upon, or default on their medical bills. I know that sounds like they were just freed up to pay their other debt but we got to take these wins where we can find them. Of course, opponents of debt relief are asking one question.


MARC THIESSEN: How are we going to pay for all of this?

DAVID ASMAN: A loan is supposed to be paid back.

SEAN HANNITY: This is beyond socialism.

ASMAN: Someone’s going to have to pay for this.

DAN BONGINO: I don’t want to pay for my neighbor’s kids’ college.

HANNITY: It is unhinged.

BONGINO: I got my own daughters’ and my own student loans to pay off.


BEE: Oh, you have burdensome student loans to pay off? Well, have I got a candidate for you!


BEE: Also, this question is stupid. For one, the two candidates with the most expensive debt relief plans have said exactly how they’d pay for it. They’d tax the f*** out of the rich. Look, if we’re going to have an argument, it should be about how we plan to fix the systems that cause students to accrue massive debt in the first place. After all, most of the Senators who think student loans shouldn’t be paid off went to college in the 1970’s and paid an average annual tuition of less than $3,000 in today’s money. Forgive student loan debt because it is the right thing to do. Before Sallie Mae comes back to repossess your niece. We’ll be right back.