Sean Penn: Vote Hillary or ‘Masturbate Our Way Into Hell’ With Trump

September 29th, 2016 5:34 PM

While a guest on CBS's Late Show With Stephen Colbert on Tuesday night, liberal actor/activist Sean Penn asserted that Americans have two options on November 8: “stick it out” under a Hillary Clinton presidency or “masturbate our way into hell” with Donald Trump.

According to an article posted by Jessica Chasmar -- a continuous news writer for the Washington Times -- Penn was on the program to promote an audio book he narrated entitled Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff that was written by author Pappy Pariah and will be a free download on October 20, but that didn't prevent the guest from speculating on the consequences of this year's presidential election.

Colbert jokingly asked Penn if the audio “is worth the money,” and the actor replied: “Listen, you're talking to an American that spent their time watching that debate last night. If that was worth watching, this is” worth listening to.

The host then asked his guest what he thought about the debate “because you're politically … not shy about your politics.”

Penn replied: “I don't think there's a political debate going on, so I didn't watch it. It's a social debate” that's “in the book, actually. Pariah puts it in a way that hit me where I think it's basically there are two options:”

Either you can decide to divorce yourself from loving your children and piss on a tree and show that you have the power to piss on a tree. Or you can go out and vote in a very big way for someone like Hillary Clinton -- who then you can challenge and support, which is the only way that any kind of president can have any success -- and you stick it out for four years.

Or we can just masturbate our way into hell [applause] with a guy who looks like the only blond magician.

Colbert then claimed the GOP presidential candidate couldn't do that because “his hands are too small,” a comment that also drew applause from the audience.

“Proportional match,” Penn countered with a smile.

Colbert then stated: “You have sat down with some dictators,” including former Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and Cuban President Raul Castro. “Why … did you do that because people end up getting mad at you and going 'Sean Penn loves our enemies' and 'Sean Penn hates America?'”

“Look, I've always been aware in advance that it makes me dismissable to those who want to dismiss” me, Penn replied.

“For example: the word 'dictator,'” he continued. “Hugo Chavez ... went through about 14 to 16 internationally observed elections -- more than any leader that we have gone through.”

In response, Mark Tapson of the website stated that “the smug Penn -- who doesn't just 'sit down' with dictators; he literally embraces them as friends -- apparently isn't smart enough to know that dictators often hold sham 'elections' to 'prove' they have popular support.”

Nevertheless, “that's not been my primary interest,” Penn added, which “has been that the United States, or I should say its media at large, when they demonize foreign leaders and therefore demonize, in many cases, their populations.”

“This gets me interested to see what’s the perspective from that place as they might have found it strange that our chief of the secret police [George H. W. Bush] who became the president of the United States had a son [George W. Bush] who was being voted [for] in Florida with the governor as the brother [Jeb Bush], and some things went wrong with our election,” he stated.

“When you look at it from those countries, it seems kind of 'banana republic,' and we look at the same the other way,” Penn noted before adding:

I’ve just been interested to see it without watching it on Fox News, or CNN, or the New York Times, and to see if I saw something different.

And I’ve written what I think about it, and I’m willing to be called the names that I’ve been called.

“So that's it,” he continued. “I'm just interested.”

“That's a virtue,” Colbert responded. “Curiosity is a virtue.”

So Penn's answer is “that these dictators aren't dictators,” Tapson noted, “they've been unfairly 'demonized' by [the] American media.”

“Penn's most recent films are The Gunman, which raked in an underwhelming $10.6 million in theaters on a $40 million budget,” the reporter stated, “and the animated Angry Birds, in which he has a supporting voice-over role.”

Finally, Colbert jokingly called Penn a “luddite” because he has no experience with computers and online technology. The host then concluded the segment by signing him onto the Twitter network as “#bobhoney,” referring to the title of the upcoming audio book.