Saturday Night Live Begins Show With Five Minute Trashing of Mitt Romney

April 8th, 2012 10:05 AM

With it now appearing Mitt Romney will be the Republican presidential nominee, it is a metaphysical certitude media attacks on him will drastically increase and intensify.

NBC's Saturday Night Live did its part this weekend with a five minute opening sketch that totally trashed the candidate as being a pandering fool without any core values whatsoever (video follows with transcribed highlights and commentary):


 

The program opened with a mock C-SPAN segment following Romney - played by Jason Sudeikis - to various campaign stops around the country.

First up was Pittsburgh where the mock-Romney first pandered to Steeler fans, then the Pirates, and finally the Penguins. He of course couldn’t name any of the stars that played for those teams making him look like a complete moron until someone from the audience shouted, “We don’t believe you.”

Next up was a stop at the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) where Sudeikis said, “There is one issue I will never back down, never cut a deal, never compromise because it’s the core of who I am – cat spaying…I want to be known as the cat-neutering president.”

Later, the faux Romney showed up in Oklahoma at a sportsmen’s association meeting. There he praised cock fighting.

With his arm around his grimacing wife Ann – played by Kristen Wiig – Sudeikis said, “Cock fighting has brought us more shear enjoyment in our marriage than anything we have ever experienced. That’s why, frankly, I want to be the cock fighting president.”

Sudeikis also visited Chicago to speak to the American Diabetes Association. “I’ve always thought that if I had to develop a chronic disease,” he said, “I hoped it would be adult onset diabetes. What a fascinating illness, you know, when you think about it.”

Mitt and Ann also appeared at the 2012 piercing convention where he told attendees, “When people ask me, ‘Mitt, just how many piercings do you have,’ well I always say, ‘More than I need, but less than I want.’ Now besides the two nipple-rings which I’ve already spoken about, and the taint, I’ve recently added a barbell tongue stud which Ann and I both enjoy very much.”

That last line was made with a not so subtle glance down at Wiig’s crotch.

Next up was the United Jewish Appeal where Sudeikis, wearing a yarmulke and tallit, quite poorly read a Hebrew prayer until someone from the audience yelled, “We don’t believe you.”

The sketch ended with the faux Romney not even knowing what he was supposed to say at its conclusion stating, “Hey New York, let’s start the show” rather than “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night.”

Add it all up and SNL's Romney was almost as big a fool as former President Gerald Ford portrayed by Chevy Chase in the '70s.

And this is what Americans should expect the next seven months.

After all, Tina Fey's regular mocking of Sarah Palin in the fall of 2008 helped cement an image of the former Alaska Governor as being a total buffoon who believed she could see Russia from her house.

Now, four years later, it's going to be the media's job to similarly disparage Romney in order to assure the reelection of Barack Obama.

The current White House resident can certainly once again count on Saturday Night Live to do its part.

(H/T Mediaite)