Newsweek's Bailey Stomps All Over DeLay for 'Dancing with the Stars' Appearance

September 23rd, 2009 2:57 PM

Exulting in the "awesome train wreck" that was former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay's (Texas) first appearance on ABC's "Dancing with the Stars," (DWTS) Newsweek's Holly Bailey spewed vials of venom in her September 22 post at the magazine's The Gaggle blog.

Her invective seems more befitting the pen keyboard of a leftist blogger than an ostensibly balanced journalist:

The last time we saw Tom DeLay, he was a scandal-ridden leper slinking back to Texas with nothing left but that giant, threatening smile that made even people who liked him kind of hate him. He had lost it all─his post as house majority leader, his congressional seat, his standing reservation at Signatures, Jack Abramoff’s expense-account lunchery for Republicans headed for ignominy, or prison, or both. Perhaps worst of all, DeLay had lost his mojo as “The Hammer,” the one guy you didn’t dare cross on Capitol Hill and expect to survive. Until the end, he cast himself as a victim of power-hungry Democrats, even though it was Republicans who ultimately threw him overboard. He knew how it worked—after all, he’d done the same thing to Newt Gingrich. And so DeLay went, but he didn’t like it, and like a character straight out of a Sergio Leone spaghetti Western, he promised to get justice and clear his name. “I’ll be back,” DeLay vowed.

Turns out he was right. Last night Tom DeLay made his comeback, and truly, it was a low moment in our nation’s long and stormy history, by which we mean it was totally and completely awesome in every imaginable way. Disgraced politicians choose many paths of redemption, but never did we imagine his resurrection would involve gratuitous booty shaking, cringe-inducing lip syncing and a knee slide straight out of  Footloose 2: The Grandpa Years.

And thus Bailey continued for four more paragraphs, concluding with a perverse desire to see "The Hammer" bedecked in even more ridiculous dance floor costumes:

At several points in the routine, DeLay suggestively points at Bruno Tonioli, the most outspoken judge on the show—maybe in an effort to score extra points. “You’re crazier than Sarah Palin!” Bruno says afterward in a moment of astute political analysis. And therein lies the explanation, long puzzling, for DeLay’s decision to agree to do the show. It is his ultimate penance for the wrongs he committed and the careers he crushed back in his Hammer days—a beautiful gift to his fellow citizens in a bleak time of recession. Thank you, Tom DeLay. We misjudged you. And we forgive you. Actually, we don’t forgive you quite yet, but we’re softening. Dancing the tango on next week’s show in a puffy shirt and feather boa wouldn’t hurt ...

Don't get me wrong, I'm no fan of DWTS either, nor of former politicians or pundits (like Tucker Carlson) embarrassing themselves with horrid dancing while wearing outlandish outfits.

That said, Bailey went above and beyond the call of duty in her mockery, turning what could have been a short apolitical jab at a former politician into red meat for the Daily Kos crowd.