WHAT’S HIDIN’ BIDEN: Crab Leg Contest Edition

November 6th, 2023 11:59 PM

EDITOR’S NOTE, February 16, 2024: On February 15, Justice Department Counsel David Weiss indicted FBI informant Alexander Smirnov on two felony counts of making a false statement and creating a false and fictitious record for claims made to the bureau. The charges are in relation to June 2020 FD-1023 form alleging President Joe Biden and son Hunter Biden received a combined $10 million in a bribery scheme involving the Ukrainian energy company, Burisma.


Corporate media worked overtime tonight in order to generate enough chaff to cover for the suppression of not one, but two major stories. Earlier today, news broke of the leak of three pages from the Nashville school shooter’s manifesto (AKA the Nashville Trannifesto), which was covered by ZERO networks. Additionally, there is the ongoing suppression of the Biden-Burisma scandal, which is now at 150 days. Here are some of those stories.

  • BREAK A LEG: Univision devoted a full 27 seconds to the Florida Keys Stone Crab Eating Contest. Most notably, the contest was won by a tourist visiting from Chicago (not Governor Pritzker, STOP IT) with no previous competitive eating experience. 
  • BREAK A LEG, PART II: CBS and NBC devoted several minutes to the SAG-AFTRA strike, as studios put forth their “last, best, and final offer” to end the ongoing labor dispute. The use of AI seems to be the sticking point. If we learned anything from the writers’ strike, which kept the horrendous late-night slate off the air, it is that rooting for a side here is like a Deadskins fan having to root for anyone else in the NFC East. Given the state of entertainment, injuries it is!
  • HOW ABOUT STOP WATCHING THE EVENING NEWS?: Univision and Telemundo both close out their newscasts with a report on the 8 habits that can add six years to your life. Nutrition, sleep, exercise, et cetera. None mentioned the stress load that comes from watching the evening news. 
  • HIGH TIMES: Univision devoted 27 seconds to a study that showed an increase in the number of seniors that smoke weed, unaware of the increased risks of heart attack and stroke said weed smoking poses. Maybe this is why they ran the 8 habits report at the end of the newscast?
  • BUT HOW DID IT GET HERE?: Univision (see a trend here?) did 24 seconds on a massive FBI bust in Boston, wherein 200 pounds of drugs were seized, including 20 pounds of fentanyl shaped like those chalky Valentine’s Day hearts that come in a box. How did it get here? Seems relevant but Univision just let the story fade away, like inconvenient flatulence against a stiff wind.
  • NOT BIDEN-BURISMA, BUT… Telemundo DID report that the House will subpoena James and Hunter Biden for testimony on the family business dealings, and that Special Counsel David Weiss will testify before the House Judiciary Committee in a closed-door session. Nice tease, but we’ll be watching to see whether Telemundo (or anyone else) reports on the outcomes of these proceedings.


With the exception of this last item, the above were some of the stories that the networks thought had more editorial merit than the Biden-Burisma scandal.