CNN's 'Your Money' Not Enthralled With New Automatic Toilet Paper Dispenser

July 16th, 2007 5:34 PM

“Alright, now for the moment the world has been waiting for.”

These were the words from Ali Velshi, co-host of last Saturday’s “Your Money” on CNN, to introduce a segment on a brand new invention: the automatic toilet paper dispenser, the newest contender for the title of “least needed product ever.”

Now don’t worry, Ali was obviously not serious with the little teaser, so please, halt those nasty e-mails to CNN.

This new product was reviewed by Allen Wassler, who was obviously (for good reason) less than thrilled about it.

According to the segment, the automatic toilet paper dispenser is supposed to cut down on the amount of toilet paper that Americans use, which Ali helpfully pointed out, is double what Europeans use. A fact bemoaned by co-host Christine Romans who commented

“We use twice as much everything as Europeans.”

(I might be tempted to insert an obvious “European people need to use more soap” joke here, but that’s just too easy.)

While co-host Christine Romans didn’t seem too impressed with the new product, she did hint that she thought it was a good idea and seemed hopeful that it would help reduce American’s wanton use of T.P. saying

“I think it’s an interesting idea, maybe it will help us consume a little bit less.”

Mr. Wassler on the other hand…?

“A quota on toilet paper, I don’t believe it… Where’s this country going to?”

Good question.

Although the machine regulates how many squares come out per push, there is nothing that prevents people from pushing again and again and there’s nothing that allows for just one square to come out each time. (There goes the Sheryl Crow endorsement.)

You know the global warming hysteria is getting out of hand when the freedom of choice now includes debates over how much toilet paper to use.

(h/t to Dan Gainor of the MRC’s Business & Media Institute)