Sam Bee’s Christmas Special from Hell: Hating ICE, Obsessing Over Fox News

TBS’s Full Frontal host Samantha Bee aired a commercial-free, half-hour Christmas special that no serious person really asked for and painted Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) as a diabolical government agency that’s the antithesis of Jesus Christ’s ministry looking to deport people at will, harm future Christmases, and partner with those evil bums at Fox News.

Bee repeatedly encouraged viewers to vote for politicians and support causes working to abolish ICE, but it was unclear whether Bee would be alright with eliminating an agency that works to combat human trafficking and smuggling, plus overseeing legal immigration.

 

 

Let’s start at the top. Bee explained that “[t]he reason I'm doing a Christmas special with a bunch of tasteless ice puns locked and loaded is that this is a tremendously difficult time to be an immigrant in America” because “[t]he Trump administration is doing everything to make it more difficult for refugees” and sought to pin blame on the government for the death of Jackeleine Caal Macquin. 

This was despite that, as the facts came out, the girl’s father didn’t blame the government and that Border Patrol did everything it could to save her.

Bee noted that this special would be an effort to raise money for the pro-illegal immigration group Kids in Need of Defense and celebrate “the least terrible season of the year.” 

In the midst of an opening musical number that encouraged viewers to “grab this Christmas season by the jingle bells,” a little girl appeared in an angel costume to drop the f-bomb and suggest Jesus was an illegal immigrant:

The angel said unto them behold I bring you tidings of great joy for unto you is born this day in the City of David a savior, which is Christ the Lord. And it’s a good thing he was born in the city of David and not the city of Donald because Trump would have probably have said: “Savior of Mankind? More like Loser of Mankind” And dumped him and Mary in jail. You know what, [EXPLETIVE] 2018. 

A few minutes later, Bee lamented that “when we hear about immigration, it’s usually Fox News screaming at us that every brown baby is smuggling an ISIS cell in his diaper” before airing a pre-taped segment from the Mexico border that obsessed over Fox (click “expand”):

BEE: This is a story eventually about hope. It starts here where the Rio grande marks the border with the Mexico. After weeks of hard, dangerous travel, asylum seekers often try to cross at points like this, risking drowning, alligators or worse, Fox News. 

GRIFF JENKINS: We’ve been hiding in the bushes waiting to witness one of these crossings. Let’s go look. They are coming right now. 

BEE: Thankfully today all seems serene and deserted with no sign of [TO FAKE FOX NEWS REPORTERS] Go on. Get out of here. Stupid Fox News reporters. Not ok. But why do families cross here? Risking both a misdemeanor and an ambush by the White Santa Network because waits at official ports of entry can stretch it weeks. Many who cross turn here deliberately turn themselves in and ask for asylum.

By the 13-minute mark, Bee lashed out at ICE (click “expand”):

Now, let's get back to the reason for the season. ICE. That’s Immigration and Customs Enforcement. ICE deals with immigration on the interior of the country a.k.a. away from the borders and if you’re wondering why we need a whole separate police force for that when regular police exist, good question. Here is the latest story about I.C.E. that made me stab my television. Between July and November, 170 people who came forward to sponsor migrant children were arrested themselves by I.C.E. ICE is using scared vulnerable children as bait to trap people who care about them. That’s not a government agency. That is the villain in a Liam Neeson thriller. 

Of course, Bee didn’t acknowledge the 18 deaths of people who died under ICE custody in the Obama administration.

As ICE itself, National Review, the late Weekly Standard, and others have pointed out, ICE’s mission goes well beyond deporting illegal immigrants, so seemingly threatening ICE agents and encouraging people to post ICE’s location during raid’s on social media (as Bee later encouraged people to do) was a tad disturbing. Bee should think long and hard about wanting to abolish ICE if she’s concerned about Homeland Security.

 

 

In perhaps the most bizarre segment, Bee staffer Amy Hoggart did a bit on Christmas trees and how future Christmases were in jeopardy if ICE deports illegal immigrants as, according to the report, they’re responsible for the Christmas tree industry. 

Here’s the relevant transcript that featured more Fox News bashing that could have been written  by Brian Stelter (click “expand”):

HOGGART: Turns out blue collar workers are harvesting our trees. They’re just often immigrants who are undocumented or temporarily viased. 

MARTIN PEDRAZA: If you were to actually go to the Christmas tree fields, you will see at least 90 percent immigrant farm workers. 

HOGGART: Why?

PEDRAZA: White folk, as you could say, don't really want to do it. 

[FOX & FRIENDS CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS SEGMENT]

HOGGART: Sure, white folk must be very busy making whatever the blood hell this is. And how do we repay the immigrants who provide our trees.

PEDRAZA: There’s definitely been a lot of ICE raids. 

HOGGART: So ICE is just going around and deporting the people who are responsible for Christmas? 

PEDRAZA: Yes ma’am. I think ICE is definitely threatening our future Christmases. 

HOGGART: You, War on Christmas, Fox News-loving, immigrant-hating Belands. If you’ve got such a huge Christmas tree fetish, then why are you deporting the people growing them. Guess there’s only one way to make you care. Hold on a minute. Fox News Alert! Trump and ICE are threatening a war against Christmas future. More at 11. 

PEDRAZA: That definitely —

HOGGART: Fox News Alert! No language! Just screaming! Doesn’t make any sense! God, tree, Trump, hate. More at 11. What? It worked when they do it. Did you ever get angry with people who are anti-immigration but then have Christmas trees in their homes? 

DACA-RECIPIENT JUAN: Fine with me. As long as they have a good Christmas. 

HOGGART: Good grief. Christmas is coming but all I can think about is people like Juan who toil for our seasonal joy despite being a political target for lazy wankers and I still have to get Sam her tree. [TRIES TO PULL TREE, FALLS DOWN] Oh, brother! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Next came an ice show with Bee and figure skater Adam Rippon that lashed out against ICE because it’s “so awful” and had fake ICE agents rough up seemingly innocent people. ICE agents fired hockey pucks at a make-shift front door that Bee ruled was symbolic of “the chipping away of civil rights.” No word if CNN and their Media Team were okay with this special that attacked federal workers and trying to undermine an American institution.

Eventually, the ICE agents were “defeated” even though one tried to destroy a Mary statue. Bee continued on with one final pre-taped segment from Lumpkin, Georgia, which houses the country’s largest ICE facility (click “expand”).

Conditions inside the centers are bad enough but there's another problem. They are a bitch to get to. Fortunately, I'm just enough of a bitch to go. Many ICE detention centers are sequestered from civilization, seemingly to isolate detainees from the known world to break their spirits and make them sign away their rights to deportation. You know, the real American away. 150 miles away from Atlanta, you’ll find the largest one in the country. Stewart Detention Center, which houses around 1,800 detainees. It is in Lumpkin, Georgia where there’s a gun show, a library, and a single immigration lawyer.

Bee then concluded with a trademark lefty insistence that Jesus Christ was a far-left radical and “hates Fox News” (click “expand”):

You know, in a lot of Christmas specials, this would be the time when I learn the true meaning of Christmas but I already know it. Here it is: On Christmas, we celebrate the birth of a man whose message was one of radical kindness. A man who said whatever you do for least you do for me and if you are not doing your best to show compassion for the poor, the weak, the sick, and, yes, immigrants, then you are doing Christmas wrong. I don't care what the hell on your Starbucks cup. Anyway, Jesus loves me and He hates Fox News. Bye!

To see the relevant transcript from TBS’s Full Frontal with Samantha Bee on December 19, click “expand.”

TBS’s Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
December 19, 2018
10:31 p.m. Eastern

SAMANTHA BEE: The reason I'm doing a Christmas special with a bunch of tasteless ice puns locked and loaded is that this is a tremendously difficult time to be an immigrant in America. I'm sure you remember the family separation crisis this summer. What you may not know is that 50 of those families still haven't been reunited. Just as reminder, we usually arrest somebody if they steal one child and even the families that are back together face an uphill battle. The Trump administration is doing everything to make it more difficult for refugees, from forcing them to wait weeks or months in Mexico to tweeting deranged things about the caravan to barring domestic violence victims from claiming asylum. I’m worried that we have lost our compassion. Just last week, seven-year-old Jackeline Caal Macquin died in border control custody. Republicans and Trump officials went on TV and blamed already parents. 

JASON CHAFFETZ: That should be the message. Don't make this journey it will kill you. And that is the mental. 

BEE: You know that you are on the wrong side of history when somebody gives you that level of side eye through the television screen. Now, it is tempting to give in to despair and rage but it’s probably better to do something. Besides, my doctor says if I don't get my blood pressure down, my heart my explode so hard the shrapnel will hurt other people. That is why tonight I am raising money for Kids in Need of Defense. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] They provide immigrant children — yes — they provide immigrant with legal representation and they are also partnering with Full Frontal to create a special fund to help families separated this summer get legal help and social services. If you are watching at home, please donate to KIND. All these guys did. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] You know, the world is dark but tonight we are going to bukaki it with joy. It is a half-hour slathered with tinsel and trees and carols and skating and celebrity cameos. Your hearts are going to swell with good will if it is the last [EXPLETIVE] thing I do because Christmas time is special. Am I right, Dan?

DAN: Sure are, Samantha Bee.

BEE [SINGING]: It’s the least terrible season of the year. The news cycle slows to 11th gear. This legislative recess a perfect time to destress. No Senators, so just fill up on alcohol. Yes, Christimas ranks in good time as the first all other times this year. 

BACK-UP SINGERS: As the first!

BEE: All other times this year were tied for worst. 

BACK-UP SINGERS: As the worst!

BEE: Now, all the votes are tallied and all the rallies rallied.

BEE AND BACK-UP SINGERS: This season all is bright and all is calm when even neo-Nazis visit mom. 

BEE: Ladies and gentlemen, The abolished ICEskaters. We lived through Kim and Vladimir and justices who just like beer — 

BEE AND BACK-UP SINGERS: — so let's enjoy while we still can because Christmas is a season we can stand. 

BEE: Please, welcome the Philly Flyers mascot gritty. We couldn't get the costume rights but that’s the guy inside. Cool, huh? Yeah. Neat. Ahhh, ohh.

LITTLE GIRL ANGEL: The angel said unto them behold I bring you tidings of great joy for unto you is born this day in the City of David a savior, which is Christ the Lord. And it’s a good thing he was born in the city of David and not the city of Donald because Trump would have probably have said: “Savior of Mankind? More like Loser of Mankind” And dumped him and Mary in jail. You know what, [EXPLETIVE] 2018. 

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BEE: Ok. Let's focus on the great joy. It’s Christmas. 

BEE AND BACK-UP SINGERS: Yay. 

(....)

10:36 p.m. Eastern

BEE [SINGING]: Forget the lies and treason. 

BEE AND BACK-UP SINGERS: And grab this Christmas season by the jingle bells.

BEE: Call the number on your screen to donate to screen. Oh my gosh. We’re doing a Christmas special!

(....)

10:37 p.m. Eastern

ASHLEY NICOLE BLACK: Did you guys see this? Paul Ryan pushing congress to admit more immigrants. 

AMY HOGGART: Really.

BLACK: As one of last acts he asks for thousands of new visas — oh, for the Irish. 

ALLANA HARKIN: Oh, thank God we are finally going to help the most depressed group. People that look like Paul Ryan. 

MIKE RUBENS: Of course, we have to save the Irish youth from the terrifying potato gangs. 

BLACK: Hey, say what you want about the man, but he did use his last chance to get it wrong. Hey, Sam, why don’t you come skate with us. You’re Canadian, right?

BEE: Why don’t you suck on some milk mags, you hosers! I’m sorry.

BACK-UP SINGERS: Whoa. Whoa.

BEE: I just get so stressed out when people talk about skating. I mean, I could skate if I wanted to, but I have to do this segment, so you know, when we hear about immigration, it’s usually Fox News screaming at us that every brown baby is smuggling an ISIS cell in his diaper. What is it really like to come to America as a refugee in 2018. I traveled to the U.S. Border to a bus station that some are calling the new Ellis island to find out. This is a story about hope. Okay, that music is too hopey. Okay, better. This is a story eventually about hope. It starts here where the Rio grande marks the border with the Mexico. After weeks of hard, dangerous travel, asylum seekers often try to cross at points like this, risking drowning, alligators or worse, Fox News. 

GRIFF JENKINS: We’ve been hiding in the bushes waiting to witness one of these crossings. Let’s go look. They are coming right now. 

BEE: Thankfully today all seems serene and deserted with no sign of [TO FAKE FOX NEWS REPORTERS] Go on. Get out of here. Stupid Fox News reporters. Not ok. But why do families cross here? Risking both a misdemeanor and an ambush by the White Santa Network because waits at official ports of entry can stretch it weeks. Many who cross turn here deliberately turn themselves in and ask for asylum.

(....)

10:43 p.m. Eastern

BEE: Now, let's get back to the reason for the season. ICE. That’s Immigration and Customs Enforcement. ICE deals with immigration on the interior of the country a.k.a. away from the borders and if you’re wondering why we need a whole separate police force for that when regular police exist, good question. Here is the latest story about I.C.E. that made me stab my television. Between July and November, 170 people who came forward to sponsor migrant children were arrested themselves by I.C.E. ICE is using scared vulnerable children as bait to trap people who care about them. That’s not a government agency. That is the villain in a Liam Neeson thriller. [RED SIREN GOES OFF] Ok, means our Christmas clear to bummers ratio is changing and distract me from the inherit darkness of existence.

(....)

10:45 p.m. Eastern

HOGGART: Turns out blue collar workers are harvesting our trees. They’re just often immigrants who are undocumented or temporarily viased. 

MARTIN PEDRAZA: If you were to actually go to the Christmas tree fields, you will see at least 90 percent immigrant farm workers. 

HOGGART: Why?

PEDRAZA: White folk, as you could say, don't really want to do it. 

[FOX & FRIENDS CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS SEGMENT]

HOGGART: Sure, white folk must be very busy making whatever the blood hell this is. And how do we repay the immigrants who provide our trees.

PEDRAZA: There’s definitely been a lot of ICE raids. 

HOGGART: So ICE is just going around and deporting the people who are responsible for Christmas? 

PEDRAZA: Yes ma’am. I think ICE is definitely threatening our future Christmases. 

HOGGART: You, War on Christmas, Fox News-loving, immigrant-hating Belands. If you’ve got such a huge Christmas tree fetish, then why are you deporting the people growing them. Guess there’s only one way to make you care. Hold on a minute. Fox News Alert! Trump and ICE are threatening a war against Christmas future. More at 11. 

PEDRAZA: That definitely —

HOGGART: Fox News Alert! No language! Just screaming! Doesn’t make any sense! God, tree, Trump, hate. More at 11. What? It worked when they do it. Did you ever get angry with people who are anti-immigration but then have Christmas trees in their homes? 

DACA-RECIPIENT JUAN: Fine with me. As long as they have a good Christmas. 

HOGGART: Good grief. Christmas is coming but all I can think about is people like Juan who toil for our seasonal joy despite being a political target for lazy wankers and I still have to get Sam her tree. [TRIES TO PULL TREE, FALLS DOWN] Oh, brother! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

(....)

10:47 p.m. Eastern

BEE: And welcome to ICE on Ice. 

ADAM RIPPON: The only guide to fighting the excesses of Immigration and Customs Enforcement that’s also an ice show. 

BEE: Now, Sam — 

BEE: Yes?

RIPPON: Why are we doing that insane thing you just said.

BEE: Well, Adam, I really wanted to make people know their rights and ICE is so awful, this was the only way to make it Christmas-y.

RIPPON: So, what can we do to fight ICE’s overreach?

BEE: Great question. Here with the answer are the Full Frontal Abolish ICE-skaters. 

RIPPON: Amazing pun. 

BEE: Thank you, Adam?

RIPPON: I didn’t mean it.

[ICE OFFICIALS CHASING COUPLES WITH HOCKEY STICKS]

RIPPON: Ah and there goes the ICE agency.

BEE: Represented by the worst person you encounter on the ice, a hockey douche.

RIPPON: Oh, wow. 

BEE: Oh no. That’s nasty.

RIPPON: Oh. Oh — oh man.

BEE: That’s nasty, man. Horrible. Oh no, don't you manhandle that poor boy. [ICE THROWS MAN INTO PILE OF PRESENTS]

RIPPON: Right in the so-cow.

BEE: Wow. ICE is way too aggressive. But today we’re going to show how you can legally help your friends and neighbors deal with. If ICE comes to your home, you do have rights 

RIPPON: Even if your home is just a door.

BEE: You do not have to let ICE in.

RIPPON: Not unless they have an I.D. and a signed warrant. 

BEE: Oh, this is going to be bad.

RIPPON: What does hitting the pucks represent, Sam? 

BEE: It’s the chipping away of civil rights, Adam.

RIPPON: Oh.

BEE: There he goes — oh, tough break. Oh, no. No. That is not appropriate. [ICE AGENT TAKES CHRISTMAS WREATH OFF DOOR]

RIPPON: Why aren't you out there skating with him, Sam? 

BEE: I don't know, Adam. Why are you such nosy jerk?

RIPPON: Here’s something else you can do to help. 

BEE: If you see ICE activity, you can publicize it on social media.

RIPPON: It looks like everyone’s sharing ICE’s location. Oh, beautiful extension on those tweet hands. 

BEE: That’s going to go viral.

RIPPON: Nice to see social media helping someone other than the president for once. 

BEE: Having some back troubles. Oh! [ICE AGENT RUNS INTO CHRISTMAS TREE] How embarrassing for I.C.E. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] You know, Adam, you don't have to be a hip team to resist ICE.

RIPPON: That’s right. You can also be an Auld like you.

BEE: I will cut you. One of the best things you can do is to organize your community not to cooperate with ICE almost as important as wearing sequins when you are ice skating. 

RIPPON: That’s right, Sam. My life work comes down to sequins and rhinestones, you basic cable nightmare.

BEE: The most important thing is to elect officials who plan to abolish ICE. When we all work together, we can do amazing skating tricks that ICE can't copy. [ICE AGENT FALLS] Oh no.

RIPPON: Oh no.

BEE: He can’t even keep a look.

RIPPON: Beautiful. 

BEE: Hey, I probably could do that if I tried.

RIPPON: Oh, no, Mary.

BEE: Oh, no. No. 

RIPPON: She's already been through so much. [ICE AGENT CARRYING MARY STATUE CRASHES]

BEE: Whew! And ICE has been defeated. 

RIPPON: For ICE on Ice, I’m Adam Rippon.

BEE: And I'm frozen to this chair.

(....)

10:52 p.m. Eastern

BEE [SINGING]: You know, not everyone can twirl their way out of I.C.E. custody like the Abolish ICE-skaters. ICE current holds about 40,000 people in detention centers. That’s like detaining the population of Beverly Hills and but unlike the population of Beverly Hills, these people don't deserve this treatment. Conditions inside the centers are bad enough but there's another problem. They are a bitch to get to. Fortunately, I'm just enough of a bitch to go. Many ICE detention centers are sequestered from civilization, seemingly to isolate detainees from the known world to break their spirits and make them sign away their rights to deportation. You know, the real American away. 150 miles away from Atlanta, you’ll find the largest one in the country. Stewart Detention Center, which houses around 1,800 detainees. It is in Lumpkin, Georgia where there’s a gun show, a library, and a single immigration lawyer. 

(....)

10:55 p.m. Eastern

BEE: This town needs more lawyers. These detainees need their families and there is no more room at the inn. Ah, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I just had a Christmas-gasam. Maybe I can fix this on “Lumpkin or Leave It.” I’ll tell you what we need. We need a house, so that El Refugio can accommodate more lawyers and more family members, but we don’t need anything fancy.

(....)

10:57 p.m. Eastern

BEE: You know, in a lot of Christmas specials, this would be the time when I learn the true meaning of Christmas but I already know it. Here it is: On Christmas, we celebrate the birth of a man whose message was one of radical kindness. A man who said whatever you do for least you do for me and if you are not doing your best to show compassion for the poor, the weak, the sick, and, yes, immigrants, then you are doing Christmas wrong. I don't care what the hell on your Starbucks cup. Anyway, Jesus loves me and He hates Fox News. Bye!

NB Daily Campaigns & Elections Government Agencies Immigration Conservatives & Republicans Liberals & Democrats TBS Video Government & Press Christmas Samantha Bee Donald Trump
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