Meyers Rips 'Haunted Ventriloquist's Dummy' Rubio on COVID

January 4th, 2022 4:44 PM

The degeneration of NBC's Late Night host Seth Meyers' comedic skill continued apace on Tuesday as the host ripped into Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, labeling him a "Haunted Ventriloquist's Dummy," for not buying into hysteria about COVID.

As part of a long-winded monologue, Meyers compared himself to Andy Cohen's New Year's rant against outgoing New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio:

For example, that Andy Cohen New Year's energy is pretty much how I felt when Florida Senator Marco Rubio flippantly dismissed the most recent COVID surge, which is setting new records for daily case numbers and fueling rising hospital admissions. On New Year's Eve, Rubio tweeted, "Record numbers testing positive for a sore throat isn't a crisis. And people in the hospital for car accidents testing positive isn't a surge. The real crisis is the irrational hysteria, which has people with no symptoms waiting hours for a test or missing work for 10 days."

 

 

Instead of addressing Rubio's point that not everyone needs a test and that the CDC now agrees with him about asymptomatic people missing 10 days of work, Meyers got personal: "First of all, you haunted ventriloquist's dummy, it's only a sore throat, that's likely because you're boosted or at the very least double vaccinated, which would be a far better message for you to be pushing, especially since you got your shot before most Americans even had access to the vaccine. Do you remember that, or did you block it out because you were, you know, being so hysterical?"

Meyers concluded his diatribe against Rubio by claiming he was a hypocrite: "Also, you think missing work for 10 days is the real crisis, instead of letting people stay home to take care of themselves and slow the spread? That's pretty rich coming from a senator who once had one of the worst attendance records in Congress and it's a true fact, one of the few true facts I learned from, of all people, Donald Trump, who brought it up in a GOP primary debate amid a chorus of boos." 

The Omicron variant originated in South Africa, which has a far lower vaccination rate than the U.S., and people with Omicron were 80% less likely to be hospitalized. It is also ironic that Meyers claims Rubio is wrong not to encourage people to get vaccinated because when he previously did that, some in the media claimed he was being "immoral."

This segment was sponsored by McDonald's

Here is a transcript for the January 4 show:

NBC

Late Night with Seth Meyers

12:47 AM ET

SETH MEYERS: For example, that Andy Cohen New Year's energy is pretty much how I felt when Florida Senator Marco Rubio flippantly dismissed the most recent COVID surge, which is setting new records for daily case numbers and fueling rising hospital admissions. On New Year's Eve, Rubio tweeted, "Record numbers testing positive for a sore throat isn't a crisis, and people in the hospital for car accidents testing positive isn't a surge the real crisis is the irrational hysteria, which has people with no symptoms waiting hours for a test or missing work for 10 days.” Irrational hysteria? Anderson, hold me back! First of all, you haunted ventriloquist's dummy, it's only a sore throat, that's likely because you're boosted or at the very least double vaccinated, which would be a far better message for you to be pushing, especially since you got your shot before most Americans even had access to the vaccine. Do you remember that, or did you block it out because you were, you know, being so hysterical? Also, you think missing work for 10 days is the real crisis, instead of letting people stay home to take care of themselves and slow the spread? That's pretty rich coming from a senator who once had one of the worst attendance records in Congress and it's a true fact, one of the few true facts I learned from, of all people, Donald Trump, who brought it up in a GOP primary debate amid a chorus of boos.