The Inevitable Clinton Drool Parade Has Begun

April 18th, 2015 7:01 AM

It was only a matter of time before the media began their drool parade over Hillary Clinton.  Since the announcement of her presidential run on Sunday, they have been chasing after her like paparazzi, patiently waiting for any word she might utter, and alas, begin the tedious task of trying to paint her into a likeable person.

No more of the “old” Hillary -  an opportunistic, scandal ridden, “technically challenged,” pantsuit-wearing former first lady, Senator, Secretary of State….and one of those “evil one-percenters” she claims to detest. The media’s mission, which they have chosen to accept, is to humanize her as a loving wife, mother, and grandmother.

Sounds like the plot to a Mission Impossible movie. A mission that wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t for the media’s involvement.

On Thursday Ben Shapiro wrote for Breitbart about the media and their adoration of Hillary, her family, and how they are trying to make her look like “common folk.”  Shapiro nailed it. His opening paragraph set the stage for what is to come with the Hillary “transformation” campaign:

Hillary Clinton’s campaign to transform from a wooden political manipulator with a long list of lies into a real human candidate continued apace on Thursday. The media Blue Fairy has descended from the heavens, declaring that Hillary’s new, fun, spontaneous campaign has shown us all the true woman who exists beneath our sexist preconceptions.

The liberal media are unapologetic when describing the Clinton clan.  Their quotes and clips are so sugarcoated and dripping with sweetness, you can almost feel a cavity starting to form. Shapiro cites numerous examples:

Chuck Todd from NBC News cheered the “Scooby van”: “…we found out about the road trip and I thought, oh, there’s some spontaneity; it actually felt as if she was having fun. The road trip gives it some humanity.”

According to a Hillary Clinton biography, the Scooby van came about in 2000 because Senator Hillary and company “…objected to the customary limo the First Lady would normally use. They complained the ‘optics’ weren’t right for an aspiring senator who wanted to look like she was a woman of the people….” (So, if the “optics” weren’t right, they knew she wasn’t like the rest of us plebes?)

Recently, the entire country was inundated with stories about Hillary’s little Chipotle adventure.  This excursion was complete with footage of her standing at the counter in her big dark sunglasses, never engaging with anyone. Then again, those around her were seemingly unaware of her existence. But then, Mark Halperin, editor at Bloomberg Politics, thought she looked like she was having a great time! He quipped, “…she looks like she’s having fun and she’s doing, for her, new stuff. We’ve never seen her get a burrito before.” 

Stop the presses! Hillary gets a burrito and thinks it’s a “fun” new thing to do??!!

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the Clinton media slobberfest that will flood the airwaves, papers and internet over the next 18 months.

After lunch with the commoners, Hillary and her Scooby van were off to an Iowan coffee shop for what USA Today called a “spontaneous chat with everyday Americans.”  If spontaneous means a pre-planned meeting that featured attendees chosen by Clinton’s campaign manager (all of which were Democratic operatives), then the definition of “spontaneous” has changed.

Shapiro also mentioned that Time magazine decided to help Hillary by having her write a profile full of praise for Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) for their list of 100 most influential people. Warren is thought to be a possible rival to Hillary in 2016, though she’s said she won’t run.

That strategy is straight from The Godfather II – “keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” Hillary is doing her best to make sure this is “her time,” unlike the last election. Who knows, maybe she’ll get overtaken by another fresh faced senator… only this time with an “R” in front of their name. Oh the irony.

Magazines such as Elle and Town & Country are also trying their best to humanize the Clintons.  Shapiro points out:

Elle has a heavily-airbrushed picture of Chelsea Clinton on their cover; she is wearing “a Gucci dress, Mateo New York bracelet, Cartier bracelet, Garland Collection ring, Halleh ring.” She is, in short, a woman of the people. Her presence on the cover of Elle makes perfect sense given her history of accomplishments including being born and breathing.

The discussion topics, says Elle, range from:

 [W]hether she’d like her daughter Charlotte’s grandmother to be the first female president of the United States, to the pressures she feels as a woman in a leadership role, to how she influences her parents on topics of national importance such as gay rights, to what it’s like riding the subway and going to the grocery store as, well, Chelsea Clinton.

Chelsea also “passionately” talks about motherhood, her baby, and “the happy place in which she finds herself, finally writing her own story as a mother, wife, advocate, and, yes, the beloved daughter of two of the most powerful people on the planet.”

Wow. Elle certainly lays it on thick with Chelsea. She rides the subway and goes to the grocery store - another Clinton that’s just like us!

But wait, there’s more! Elle Editor-in-Chief Robbie Myers writes:

"There is something innately regal about Chelsea—a kind of grace that doesn't seem practiced, or trotted out just for public consumption. She's a person of substance for sure, a young woman who, while measured in her manner, has a fierceness of conviction, and a calling to make the world a better place."

Cue music: “I am woman, hear me roar....”

Speaking of women, who can forget Bill?  Town & Country gushes:

He is generous with [his attention], engaged and in the moment despite the midday sun, which is turning his pale skin pink. He asks questions, listens, nods, touches arms and shoulders—bonding gestures that quickly put his interlocutors at ease in the charmed circle of his celebrity. He is exemplary in his attention to detail, respectful in his curiosity.

They let Bill claim that he doesn’t think he’s good at campaigning anymore because “…I’m not mad at anybody. I’m a grandfather, and I got to see my granddaughter last night, and I can’t be mad.”

How sickeningly sweet. I think I have a cavity beginning to form.