P.J. Gladnick

P.J. Gladnick's picture
Contributing Writer


I am probably the only writer on NewsBusters to have received an award from the Soviet Union. It was for my work as an American correspondent for Krokodil Magazine which you can see chronicled in I Was A Commie Writer.

I live in South Florida which is full of eccentrics which is why I feel right at home here. My main accomplishments in life were winning a bottle of aftershave when I was eight and having the biggest PING List (over 1000 Pingees) on the Free Republic forum for my DUmmie FUnnies blog. This is fortunate since I suffer severely from Ping List Envy. 

Prior to the advent of the Web, I wrote a syndicated humor column that appeared in dozens of newspapers throughout North America. Only complete humility forbids me from telling you that my columns appeared in the Houston Chronicle, St. Petersburg Times, L.A Herald-Examiner, Winnipeg Free Press, Cleveland Plain Dealer, Vancouver Sun, and lots of other periodicals that I am much to humble to list. 

 Oh, I also produced an award-winning satirical comix website called PJ's Comix. This sort of balances out the fact that I am the WORST basketball player in the world.

When I lived in Los Angeles, I wrote comedy material for comedians. Sorry,  due to business ethics I can't reveal any of their names (Argus Hamilton).

Latest from P.J. Gladnick

With the latest sexual harassment news about MSNBC's Chris Matthews having to pay a $40,000 settlement to an assistant producer for Hardball in 1999, can anybody be really surprised? The reason is that Matthews over the years has a record of very strange behavior of a leering nature around women, much of it recorded for posterity. A couple of the more notable examples are presented below starting with the the uncomfortable 2007 incident in which Matthews asked Erin Burnett who was then the anchor of CNBC's Street Signs to lean in closer to the camera so he could get a better look at her.


Hey boys and girls! Are you ready to play a fun new game called "Detect Liberal Bias?" Here's how it works... Just go online to any newspaper or magazine. In their seach engines, enter the term "Strzok." Do you see any search results? If so, then add "insurance" for "Strzok insurance." If you see no search results, congratulations! You have just detected strong liberal bias in the periodical you were searching.


Okay, we have Charlie Rose...gone! Matt Lauer...gone!  So who will be the next liberal celebrity to lose his career due to allegations of sexual misconduct? 

Well, the answer appears to be Tavis Smiley. Today PBS announced it was suspending the talk show host for the same reason as many of his fellow celebrity liberals. Variety provides some of the details of his suspension in PBS Suspends ‘Tavis Smiley’ Following Sexual Misconduct Investigation:


"HELP! Donald Trump has infected my mind and I can't get him out!!!" That should have been the title of Nick Bilton's article in the December 11 Vanity Fair. Instead his article is titled WILL DONALD TRUMP TAKE FACEBOOK AND TWITTER DOWN WITH HIM? even though he makes virtually no case for this premise. In fact it is practically invisible as Bilton uses that fake premise which he almost totally ignores to launch into a rant about Trump being obsessed with himself while revealing that it is Bilton himself who is obsessed by Trump. As if to emphasize the point, he even added in the video below in which the supposed takedown of Facebook and Twitter is totally absent leaving only Bilton's obsession with You-Know-Who.


One of the big questions surrounding the December 12 election in Alabama for the U.S. Senate seat is who is behind a mystery super PAC backing Democrat candidate Doug Jones against Republican Roy Moore. The Washington Post last Thursday claimed that there was no evidence of such funding by George Soros. However on the day before the election, Politico weighed in with a big story about the mystery super PAC, Highway 31, with much greater detail of the players involved.


Although most of the mainstream media are reluctant to concede that President Donald Trump has been on a win streak lately, we have confirmation of this from a rather unlikely source: Charles Pierce of Esquire magazine. The politics section writer has been in a perpetual state of rage ever since the 2016 election. There are five stages of grief but Pierce skipped most of them to go directly from anger until he now seems to have reached the stage of acceptance in which he very grudgingly concedes that Trump has been "normalized" by winning a series of victories recently in President* Trump's Normalization Is Complete:


The mainstream media has been busy over the past year engineering the narrative that the removal from office via impeachment of President Donald Trump is almost inevitable. Although they have had a few bumps on the road to this future fable, which caused them to switch to removal from office via the 25th Amendment fantasy, their impeachment dream is back on track. This fantasy reached a fevered pitch last week on Friday when many liberals went into a state of ecstasy, most notably Joy Behar, over the fake news report by Brian Ross of ABC News about "candidate" Trump contacting the  Russians which later that day had to be retracted.

Despite the many setbacks in the impeachment fantasy, most liberals seem to continue yearning for it as if Trump remaining in office would destroy their souls. Tom Steyer even blew $20 million in impeachment ads in pursuit of this fantasy. Unfortunately for Steyer and his fellow impeachment demanding liberals, contributing editor (and very very liberal) Peter Beinart of Atlantic magazine has tossed cold water upon their future fable of impeachment on December 3 in 'The Odds of Impeachment Are Dropping.'


Mark down this date: December 3, 2017. Why? Because of all the ridiculous stories ever published in Politico, the one written by Bill Scher on that date could well rate as the most absurd of all. Scher proposes that if the U.S. Senate seat from Arkansas is open in 2018 due to Tom Cotton leaving the Senate that either Hillary, Bill, or Chelsea Clinton should run for that seat. Adding to the absurdity of that proposal is the fact that Scher details why none of the Clintons would have much of a chance winning that seat so why bother writing the article in the first place? 


On Tuesday night's Daily Show on Comedy Central, host Trevor Noah dared to go where most of the mainstream media fail to tread. Namely exactly why President Donald Trump calls Senator Elizabeth Warren by the name of "Pocahontas." He revealed that it was not so much an ethnic slur as a mockery of Warren's highly dubious claim to have American Indian ancestry.


A person assumes a fake ethnic identity in  order to advance their career. If you guessed this person to be Elizabeth Warren who passed herself off as an Indian in order to be hired as a minority on the Harvard faculty you would be right. However, you would also be right if you  guessed the person to be the new Marvel comics editor-in-chief, C.B. Cebulski, who years ago pretended to be Japanese in order to advance his career every bit as much as Warren did.


She lost what most had considered a guaranteed nomination in 2008. In 2016 she spent twice as much as Donald Trump on her campaign, was endorsed by almost every newspaper in the country, and had a solid wall of full support from the mainstream media which constantly recited that Trump had "no path to 270." And yet HIllary Clinton lost the election. So what conclusion would you draw? Well, if you are Salon writer Matthew Rozsa you would conclude that Hillary should run again in 2020.

Rozsa gives us four, count them...four, reasons which could substitute as laugh lines as to why Hillary should turn herself into the Democrat party version of Harold Staasen and run for president once again. He presented his comedy routine on November 24 in The case for Hillary Clinton 2020:


Do pigs fly? Shockingly, the extremely liberal Huffington Post on Sunday actually published a story involving Republican senate nominee Judge Roy Moore of Alabama that sounded almost positive...or at least not overtly hostile. The reason seems to be that the author, Hamilton Gregory, is a Vietnam veteran and his emphasis was on the practice of fragging during that war. Moore comes into the story mainly because he was under a fragging threat due to his insistence of enforcing discipline upon his troops, many of whom were drug abusers. 


As reported by Mediaite, CBS late-night host Stephen Colbert addressed sexual harassment charges against CBS morning news host Charlie Rose on Tuesday night. He called it an "abuse of power, and noted Rose gave unwanted shoulder rubs, something his employees referred to as “the crusty paw.” He quipped “And you may make three wishes upon the accursed paw, all of which are… to not get a back rub from Charlie Rose.” While the networks will quickly move on, people can still get their Charlie Rose humor fix simply by checking out Twitter where the jokes abound. 

 


Did you know that President Donald Trump has ruined Thanksgiving? That is the premise of Politico on Thanksgiving Day. Interestingly GQ magazine proposes that if somehow your Thanksgiving is going great, that Trump should be injected into the conversations by angry liberals in order to ruin the event for everybody. GQ gives tips on performing this task in It's Your Civic Duty to Ruin Thanksgiving by Bringing Up Trump. Therefore it seems that the real Donald Trump is not the problem; only the weaponized Trump used by angry liberals to ruin what would normally be warm family feelings on Thanksgiving Day.

 


 David Graham, a writer at The Atlantic, thinks it might not be a good idea to annoy your fellow Thanksgiving guests with discussions about politics. However, this year he is making an exception and is urging his fellow liberals to attempt reeducating the "unenlightened" Thanksgiving guests with a plethora of leftist talking points. Why? Because of President Donald Trump.


The American economy is doing great as reflected in the fact that blue collar wages are surging. However, please don't give President Donald Trump any credit for this. He is merely the passive recipient of "fortunate timing." That is the theme of the November 14 story in The Economist that can't even get around to giving Trump even begrudging credit for the economic growth that has taken place since he entered office. This is probably due to the extreme antipathy demonstrated by The Economist towards Trump as was illustrated by their cover featuring him throwing a Molotov cocktail soon after his inauguration. As we shall see, Trump's policies mattered little in what The Economist portrays as just a grand coincidence:


There are some situations in the news just begging to be mocked. One such example was the report that snowflake social justice warrior students at Reed College in Oregon objected to one of my favorite Saturday Night Live skits ever performed: Steve Martin singing "King Tut" in 1978.


Comparing President Donald Trump to Adolf Hitler, as many liberals have done, was so common early this year that it has already become quite passé. Yeah, that Trump-Hitler comparison is so early 2017. The new wacky comparison of choice in the latter part of 2017 now seems to be comparing Trump to the late Playboy publisher Hugh Hefner.


The sudden condemnation of sexual harrassment by Democrats within their own ranks rings a bit hollow especially due to the suspicious timing. It now seems as more of a way for Democrats to go after President Donald Trump or Judge Roy Moore of Alabama rather than sincere disgust at the sexual antics of people such as former President Bill Clinton or Senator Al Franken.

One glaring example proves this point. Remember the man hailed by liberals and the mainstream media as the "Lion of the Senate," Ted Kennedy?


Former Vice-President Joe Biden is currently being hailed in much of the mainstream media and on friendly interview shows as the Great Democrat Hope for the 2020 presidential election. However, in stark contrast to the current paeans to Biden, the liberal HuffPost has tossed cold water on this idea. Amanda Terkel has written in the November 15 HuffPost that the idea of Biden running for president is really quite horrible due to his very creepy treatment of women.