Letterman Rants 'I Have Every Right To Be Pissed Off' At CBS

Alex Christy
May 15th, 2026 10:00 AM

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Former host of CBS’s The Late Show, David Letterman, stopped by to visit with current and outgoing host Stephen Colbert on Thursday to rant at the network about how “pissed off” he is at the situation and how personally he takes it. Later, the duo vented some more by going to the roof of the Ed Sullivan building and throwing the show’s furniture off the roof at a CBS logo.

Letterman’s self-righteous diatribe began when he quipped, “Well, you know what happened backstage. I'm standing backstage, a guy comes over, and he says he's from CBS, and then he fired me.”

 

 

He also huffed, “What is going on there? I will say, and I have every right to be pissed off, so I will be pissed off here a little bit—because this theater, you folks wouldn’t be in this theater if it weren't for me, and Stephen wouldn't be here if it weren't for me, and we rebuilt this theater, and then Stephen came, and I look at this—it's like the Bellagio, but listen, what is wrong here?”

After Colbert insisted that “Nothing’s wrong, Dave!” Letterman continued with the premise that The Late Show was canceled in order to shut Colbert up, “As we all understand, you can take a man's show, but you can't take a man's voice, so that's the good news. Thank you, cheers.”

Letterman further worried, “You know what I'm really worried about? What I'm worried about is what will become of the Jimmies? Are they going to be alright?”

Colbert joked that "we have a plan to put them in a captive breeding program.”

Later, the duo made their way to the roof, and Letterman gushed, “This brings true joy to my heart. We are up here for the wanton destruction of CBS property.”

 

 

Before any furniture hurling was to begin, Colbert claimed they needed “Something circular, like a bullseye.” Already thinking ahead, Letterman then revealed the target was a CBS logo.

Colbert and Letterman’s furniture movers then tossed one of the guest chairs off the side of the building towards the target, but missed. Eventually a second guest chair hit the target that was covering a pile of children’s ball pit balls. That would be followed up with Colbert’s chair, some watermelons, and a Late Show-inspired wedding cake.

Tying it all together, Letterman thanked Colbert for “everything you've done for our country.”

 

 

An appreciative Colbert followed up, “The feeling is mutual, Dave, thank you. Anything you would like to say to the audience before we go?”

Letterman then got in one last shot at CBS, “Not necessarily to the audience but to the folks at CBS, in the words of the great Ed Murrow, good night and good luck, mother[bleep].”

Here is a transcript for the May 14 show:

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

5/14/2026

11:55 PM ET

DAVID LETTERMAN: Well, you know what happened backstage. I'm standing backstage, a guy comes over, and he says he's from CBS, and then he fired me.

STEPHEM COLBERT: Oh, I'm sorry. you caught a stray. You caught a stray.

LETTERMAN: What is going on there? I will say, and I have every right to be pissed off, so I will be pissed off here a little bit—because this theater, you folks wouldn’t be in this theater if it weren't for me, and Stephen wouldn't be here if it weren't for me, and we rebuilt this theater, and then Stephen came, and I look at this—it's like the Bellagio, but listen, what is wrong here?

COLBERT: Nothing’s wrong, Dave!

LETTERMAN: As we all understand, you can take a man's show, but you can't take a man's voice, so that's the good news. Thank you, cheers.

COLBERT: Cheers. There you go. That was very kind of you, Dave.

LETTERMAN: You know what I'm really worried about?

COLBERT: What?

LETTERMAN: What I'm worried about is what will become of the Jimmies? 

COLBERT: I don't know.

LETTERMAN: Are they going to be alright?

COLBERT: We have a plan to put them in a captive breeding program.

LETTER: Wow, I don't think I've ever heard that phrase. “Captive breeding.” I like that, pretty good.

…

12:19 AM

LETTERMAN: But this brings true joy to my heart. We are up here for the wanton destruction of CBS property.

COLBERT: I know for many years I enjoyed this as a viewer. You would throw things off Ed Sullivan building—

LETTERMAN: That’s right.

COLBERT:  —this is a true story when I first got this gig, one the first things they told me before we moved into the offices is that I would not be allowed to throw anything off of the roof of the Ed Sullivan building because evidently there was a problem with a previous tenant.

LETTERMAN: Yes, I'm so excited about this.

COLBERT: So am I. Alright, so, I was never allowed to do this.

LETTERMAN: You never did it in all the time—?

COLBERT: I never did it, but we are at the end here, so all bets are off.

LETTERMAN: Let’s get to it.

COLBERT: Let’s go. Alright.

LETTERMAN: Now, this is--these are the guys who do the heavy work for us, Chris and Gene.

COLBERT: Chris and Gene, guys, thanks for your help.

LETTERMAN: You guys will verify this is CBS property, right?

CHRIS OR GENE: 100 percent, yes. From the show.

LETTERMAN: Okay, any time you're ready, Stephen. Oh my god!

COLBERT: Alright. Hold on a second. Guys, before we do this, Dave, I think we should have a target, don't you? 

LETTERMAN: Right down there, my friend.

COLBERT: Something circular, like a bullseye.

LETTERMAN: Yeah, yeah. It's all fun until somebody puts out an eye.

COLBERT: That’ll do.

LETTERMAN: Here we go, get ready.

COLBERT: Gentlemen.

LETTERMAN: Oh my god, yes, oh. Oh! We missed a target, but still, that’s fun.

COLBERT: Don't worry, Dave we brought a spare.

LETTERMAN: This is chair number two.

COLBERT: Okay, gentlemen, let’s think about what happened last time, how are you going to adjust the throw? This is all on you.

CHRIS OR GENE: Maybe go a little lighter.

LETTERMAN: Yeah, you don’t—just drop it.

COLBERT: Yeah, I would just go straight down, less shove.

LETTERMAN: That’ll be a shame if you don’t destroy the eye.

COLBERT: Wait, this man knows what he’s doing. What's your advice?

LETTERMAN: I say look out for the wind and keep it closer to the building.

COLBERT: Watch the wind.

LETTERMAN: Yeah. Here we go. Yes! It’s unbelievable isn’t it.

…

LETTERMAN: The pleasure is all mine. I enjoy destroying stuff it's great, great fun. Thank you for everything you've done for our country.

COLBERT: The feeling is mutual, Dave, thank you. Anything you would like to say to the audience before we go?

LETTERMAN: Not necessarily to the audience but to the folks at CBS, in the words of the great Ed Murrow, good night and good luck, mother[bleep].

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