WashPost Humorist Offers Mean-spirited 'Conservative Jokes' for GOP Youth Appeal

July 13th, 2013 1:35 PM

Gene Weingarten, the “humorist” for The Washington Post Magazine offered this weekend “Some free Bush-league humor to help increase the GOP’s youth appeal.”

Apparently, someone is counseling that the GOP doesn’t have to change their so-called “grumpy old-white-man positions,” they just have to talk with more humor and irony, which led Weingarted to offer “jokes” for conservatives. Such as:

Q: How many illegal immigrants does it take to replace a light bulb?

A: Only one, but that’s one light bulb-replacement job he’s taking from a genuine American!

Haw haw. Weingarten began:

Did you see that young conservative Republicans are advising their elders in the party that to capture the young adult vote it is not necessary to modernize their grumpy old-white-man positions on matters like abortion, immigration, gay marriage or gun control? All they have to do, counseled the youths, is to seem hipper about it all through the use of humor, which is the universal, ironic lexicon of disaffected millennials.

He had two favorite social issues to make “jokes” about. There was gun rights:

Q: How can you spot the liberal at a gun show?

A: He’s the dummy trying to load the Ruger Mark III .22 semiautomatic pistol with hollow-point high-velocity rounds without first engaging the magazine release button!

Q: What does a bad guy with a gun at a shopping mall say to a good guy with a gun at a shopping mall?

A: “Darn you for plugging me in the gut before I got to kill that nun!”

...And there was abortion and “gay marriage,” a rich vein for Weingarten the Mocking Atheist:

Q: How many Pentecostal ministers does it take to officiate at a same-sex wedding?

A: Two. One to perform the ceremony and one to pray for their miserable, hell-bound souls!

Q: Did you hear about the game show that's popular among pre-born citizens?

A: Yes, "Womb Do You Trust?" (Not Democrats!)....

Q: What did God say when he heard the couple in the gay wedding say, “I do”?

A: “I know you do, which is why I hate you.”

Q: What’s an acceptable use of weapons of mass destruction?

A: Nuclear pro-life-eration!

Q: Why did the liberal woman wait until the third trimester before trying to get an abortion?

A: Because it took that long for the ultrasound to confirm that her baby would be born without a fully developed left pinkie toe!

“So, this abortion doctor is in Heaven. That’s it! That’s the joke! I mean, can you imagine?”

Being an abortion doctor must be very stress-free. What’s the worst that can happen if he screws up? The baby lives? Okay, yes, the mom could die. But doesn’t she sort of have it coming??

When atheists like Seth MacFarlane think it's funny when teenaged nerdy girls are being sold into sex slavery, perhaps Weingarten ought to take a look at how hip,ironic leftists might have a humor problem.