Some media liberals today are celebrating NBCMiami.com's Brian Hamacher with the "Best Lede Ever" for this snarky opener mocking Florida's legislature: "Floridians are going to have to start pulling up their pants and stop having sex with animals soon."
That's probably not so funny if you're proud to be a Floridian. And since when is it funny to be against bestiality? Hamacher's entire brief had a "news of the weird" flavor, as if Florida's gone bonkers since they elected Republican Gov. Rick Scott. But the anti-bestiality bill is being pushed by a Democrat who succeeded new DNC chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz in the Florida state Senate:
It's up to Gov. Rick Scott to sign off on two bills passed in the Florida Senate and House Wednesday which target droopy drawers and bestiality.
The bestiality bill (SB 344) bans sexual activity between humans and animals and has been championed for years by Sen. Nan Rich, from Sunrise.
Rich took up the anti-bestiality fight after a number of cases involving sexual activity with animals in recent years, including a Panhandle man who was suspected of accidentally asphyxiating a family goat during a sex act and the abuse of a horse in the Keys. The bill would make such acts a first-degree misdemeanor.
The "pants on the ground" bill sounds more trivial: "Also passed by the House and Senate Wednesday is the so-called "droopy drawers bill" (SB 228), will will force students to hike up their pants while at school. Students caught showing their underwear or butt crack could face suspensions and other punishments."
But believe it or not, Thomas Francis of the Broward County-Palm Beach New Times argued that "zoophiles" are NOT "deviants." They even found an expert to argue against Senator Rich:
I asked one of the world's leading researchers on bestiality, Dr. Hani Miletski, about Rich's claim of a "tremendous correlation" between sex with animals and sex with children. "I think it's real bullshit," says Miletski. "There's no connection that we know of. And if you said this to 'Zoos' -- as they call themselves -- they would be so offended. Because they take precautions to make sure they don't have sex with an animal that is not mature."
The condition of having a sexual and emotional connection with an animal is called "zoophilia." Miletski conducted a study in which she interviewed 82 men and 11 women, all zoophiles. Aside from an intense attraction to animals, says Miletski, "I couldn't find anything that said 'All zoos are this way or that way.'" She said they come from all walks of life and don't even seem to share a childhood experience that could possibly explain how they became zoophiles.
But it's not even purely sexual. And for the human at least, it's not rape. "They really love the animals," says Miletski, "to the point where they want to marry them and treat them as spouses." A German researcher in the field, Dr. Andrea Beetz, found that many of her research subjects belong to animal protection groups. Rich says she's leading the charge on this bill based on her desire to protect animals.
In making her case publicly, Rich has cited an episode in the panhandle town of Mossy Head in which a man was suspected of choking a goat to death while having sex with it.
Florida is one of only 16 states to have not yet outlawed bestiality, but Miletski says its only the tail-end of modern legislative trend. Since she began researching the subject in the late Nineties, she says that at least a dozen states have put these laws on their books.
I asked Miletski whether there was a correlation between sex with animals and any kind of deviant behavior. "No," she said."The two just don't go together." A person with anti-social personality, she allowed, "may have sex with everything -- including animals," but that's not the same as zoophilia.
Rich's bill looks to have clear sailing through the legislature -- what legislator would possibly defend a group as marginalized as zoophiles? To Miletski, it's a shame. "People have this reaction to (bestiality) -- 'It's crazy. It's sex. It's out there.' And people can't get their mind around it, so in order sooth their anxiety they pass a law against it."
Ultimately, she doesn't think there's anything to be gained by making sex with animals a crime. "I don't think it should be illegal," said Miletski. "I think they should let people do what they want to do as long as they don't hurt anybody."
