Tom Arnold to Host TV Show Hunting for Non-Existent Trump Tapes

May 5th, 2018 10:17 AM

Did you know that Tom Arnold will become the new host of Finding Bigfoot? Oops! Sorry, my mistake. He will actually be hosting Ancient Aliens. Well, it looks like I made another error but perhaps I can be forgiven because Tom Arnold will for real act as the host of Vice TV's very similar The Hunt for the Trump Tapes With Tom Arnold.

"Don't worry. Tom Arnold is on it and I'm Tom Arnold."

New York magazine reviews the show which perhaps will give new hope for liberals that Tom Arnold will be their Moses leading them to the Promised Land of a Trump-free White House in Tom Arnold Teams Up With Vice to Hunt for the Missing Trump Tapes:

On The Hunt for the Trump Tapes With Tom Arnold, the star of The Stupids will attempt to track down a treasure trove of lost tapes casting Trump in an unflattering light, Vice says.

The host will draw on his high-profile network of celebrity friends, entertainment executives, and crew members he’s met over more than 35 years in showbiz to dig for evidence on Trump’s most incriminating moments — and, being a comedian and all, he’ll have a little fun along the way. He’ll be backed up by a handful of experienced journalists, and — aside from trying to uncover the tapes themselves — he’ll look into the companies and tycoons who have allegedly fought to keep the damning recordings a secret.

Hmmm... Will Tom Arnold be backed up by such experienced journalists as New York Times reporter Glenn "I have become a hack" Thrush or Chris Cillizza of CNN?

Why Tom Arnold? Because he’s been making noise about these tapes for years. He first tweeted about rumored tapes of Trump using the N-word on the set of The Apprentice four days before the election. He later claimed to be in possession of the tapes, though the title and conceit of his new show would suggest otherwise.

He hid those tapes under Bigfoot's mattress.

In later tweets Arnold mentioned a “Russian sex tape,” Trump’s “version of the Ray Rice elevator tape,” a video of Trump and Jared Kushner’s dad with “super young Russians in FLA,” a “Miss Teen USA Backstage Tape,” and a “Backstage Miss Universe Tape.” What will he find other than a newfound ability to book stand-up shows at places called Yuk Yuk’s? We get to find out later this year.

How about the tape of Trump and Jared Searching for Ancient Aliens who deliver this important message to all the peoples of the world:

"Don't worry. Tom Arnold is on it and I'm Tom Arnold."